Supernatural: The Real Ghostbusters
March 4th 2010 19:34
Sam and Dean drive all night to what they think is an emergency from Chuck. When they get there, they find an odd number of Impalas outside the place, and Becky. There was no emergency. Becky the crazed fan stole Chuck’s cellphone to text Sam and Dean so that they could be there for the first official Supernatural convention. That’s right, Sam and Dean have to endure a real case involving evil ghost children, as tons of other Sam and Deans walk around pretending to be them trying to solve a fake case that the convention people have set up. One pair of Sam and Dean Larpers (Live-action role players) in particular drive Dean crazy, and when they have to team up with them to find the corpses, Dean finally breaks. He hears the larpers pretending to be him and Sam and interrupts them, insisting that this isn’t some sort of game, that Sam and Dean don’t like to be played like that. The fans argue that they don’t think Sam and Dean care, because, uh, they’re not real. Dean argues that they do care. They care a lot. As he stocks off, Sam is left to try and explain that, “Uh, yeah. He takes the story very seriously.”
Meanwhile, Chuck has to keep everyone busy in the conference room so Sam and Dean and larping Sam and Dean can go burn the bones. He answers random fan questions, and when some people decide this is just way too boring and get up and open the door, the ghostly child killers are there to greet them. Chuck rushes to close and re-salt the door, and Becky who was still staring lovesick at Sam this whole time, suddenly sees Chuck I new light. She hopes Sam can live with the fact that they weren’t meant to be together. Sam says he’ll do his best.
After having been helped in burning the bodies with the fake Sam and Dean, Dean thanks them, tells them he’s the real Dean, and they just laugh. Sure, “Dean”. They remind him that he has an awesome job where he gets to help people, and Dean leaves feeling possibly not so bad about himself after all.
Becky: I love it when they talk at the same time!
~*~*~
Becky: Sam! Wait! One more thing! In chapter 33 of Supernatural, ‘Time Is On My Side’, there was that girl Bela, she was British, and a cat burglar?
Sam: Yeah, I – I know.
Becky: She stole the Colt from you, and then she ‘said’ she gave it to Lilith, remember?
Sam: Yeah.
Becky: Well you know she lied, right? She never really gave it to Lilith?
Sam: Wait what?
Becky: Didn’t you read the book? There was this one scene where Bela gives the Colt to a demon named Crowley, Lilith’s right hand man. I think her lover, too.
Sam: Crowley. It didn’t occur to you to tell us this before?
Chuck: I’m sorry, I didn’t remember. I’m not as big of a fan as she is.
Sam: Becky? Tell me everything.
~*~*~
Dean: Great, we've got a real ghost, and bunch of dudes pretending to be us poking at it.
~*~*~
Sam: (reading LARP leaflet) Dad’s Journal. Dear Sam and Dean, this hotel is haunted. You must haunt down the ghost. Interview witnesses, discover clues, and find the bones. First team to do so wins a fifty-dollar gift card to Sizzler. Love Dad.
(Dean rolls his eyes)
Becky: You guys are so gonna win!
~*~*~
Convention Head: Welcome to the first annual Supernatural convention. Uh, at 3:45 in the Magnolia Room we have the panel "Frightened Little Boy to Secret Life of Dean." And at 4:30, there's the "Homoerotic Subtext of Supernatural." And of course, the big hunt starts at 7 p.m. sharp.
~*~*~
Hotel Manager: A lot of this place is off-limits to nerds.
~*~*~
Chuck: Uh, okay, good. This isn’t nearly as awkward as I – uh, dry mouth (picks up a bottle of water, drinks) Okay. So I guess uh... questions?
Fan 1: Hey, Mr. Edlund! Uh, big fan, wow... okay, I was just wondering. Where’d you come up with Sam and Dean in the first place?
Chuck: Oh uh... (Dean and Sam tilt their heads curiously). It just... came to me. Okay, the hook man.
Fan 2: Okay, so why in every fight scene, Sam and Dean are having their gun or knife knocked away by the bad guy? Why don’t they keep it on some kind of bungee?
Chuck: Uh, I really don’t know.
Fan 2: Yeah, follow up – why can’t Sam and Dean be telling that Ruby is evil? I mean she is clearly manipulating Sam in some kind of moral lapse. It’s obvious, right?
Becky: Hey! If you don’t like the books, don’t read ‘em, fritz!
Chuck: Okay, okay, just uh... It’s okay. It’s okay. Okay, next question.
Fan 3: Yeah okay, so at the end of the last book, Dean goes to hell, so, what happens next?
Chuck: Oh. There lies an announcement, actually. Um, you’re all gonna find out. Um, thanks to a wealthy Scandinavian investor, we’re gonna start publishing again!
(Sam and Dean look at each other)
~*~*~
Larper: Yeah, how original. Supernatural bringing in more creepy children!
~*~*~
Chuck: Like all authors I started writing because of love. I had a huge crush on Nancy McKeon who played Jo in The Facts of Life. I must have written her forty to fifty letters. She never wrote back.
~*~*~
Chuck: So what does the future hold for Sam and Dean? Well, uh, how do you feel about angels? Yeah. you know, because let me tell you, they're not nearly as lame as you think.
~*~*~
Chuck: Uh, no, there's really no such thing as a Croatoan Virus for... down there. You really should see a doctor.
~*~*~
Fake Dean/ Damien: If all these people are really in trouble, we gotta do something.
Dean: Why?
Fake Dean/ Damien: 'Cause that's what Sam and Dean would do.
~*~*~
Dean: Alright, you know what? That’s it. (Larpers to look at him) That is it!
Fake Dean/ Damien: What’s wrong Bobby?
Dean: I’m not Bobby, ‘kay? You’re not Sam, you’re not Dean. What is wrong with you? Why in the hell would you choose to be these guys?
Fake Sam/ Barnes: Because we’re fans. Like you.
Dean: No, I am not a fan. Okay? Not fans! In fact, I think that the Dean and Sam story sucks! It is not fun, it’s not entertaining, it’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse! So you listen to me. Their pain is not for your amusement! I mean, you think they enjoy being treated like circus freaks?
Fake Dean/ Damien: Uh, I don’t think they care. Because they’re fictional characters.
Dean: Oh they care. Believe me. They care a lot. (pushes past the two guys and keeps walking. They stare at Sam questioningly)
Sam: Uh, yeah. He takes the story very seriously.
~*~*~
Dean: (to Sam) Just give her the puppy dog thing, OK?
~*~*~
Becky: Look Sam. I’m not gonna lie. We had undeniable chemistry. But like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live. (Sam blinks). It can’t go on. Chuck and I... we found each other. My Yin to his proud Yang. And well, the heart wants what the heart wants. I am so, so sorry.
Chuck: Yeah Sam. You know, sorry.
(Sam nods)
Becky: Will you be alright?
Sam: (sighs) Honestly, I don’t know. I’ll just have to find a way to... keep living. I guess.
Becky: God bless you!
~*~*~
Dean: Hey, Chuck, good luck with your books, and screw you very much. (Sam and Dean walk away).
Convention Head: Fans of yours?
Chuck: I'd say no.
~*~*~
Sam: Oh, hey, Chuck, look. If you really want to publish more books, I guess that's okay with us.
Chuck: Wow. Really?
Sam: No, not really. We have guns and we will find you.
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