Supernatural: 99 Problems
October 9th 2010 23:37
It’s the 99th episode!
Sam and Dean run into a whole down of demon hunters, who are being lead by the pastor’s daughter, Leah, who says she’s a prophet, and knows all about Sam and Dean Winchester and the Apocalypse. Unfortunately, after convincing people to start killing all the “sinners” in town, Castiel shows up, depressed after not being able to find God and having drunk an entire liquor store for the first time in his life, and tells Sam and Dean that Leah is not a prophet, she’s the “Whore”. “Wow Cas,” Dean answers sarcastically, surprised the angel has been drinking, “tell us what you really think.” Cas wasn’t being flippant, he was being serious. “She rises when Lucifer walks the earth,” he quotes from the Bible. “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her “the Whore of Babylon.”” He instructs them that she can only be killed with “a stake made from a cypress tree in Babylon,” and only then by “a true Servant of Heaven.” “A Servant like…” Dean prompts, and Castiel answers, “Not you. Or me. Sam, of course, is an abomination. We’ll have to find someone else.”
The someone else turns out to be Leah’s dad, the priest, who just can’t quite get himself to kill his daughter, and in the end it’s Dean who sees his chance in all the fighting and takes it. He kills Leah, surprising his brother, and making Sam worry that maybe Dean is about to do something stupid. Like what? Like “Michael Stupid”. Dean assures Sam that that’s not the case, says but then takes off in the Impala, leaving Sam behind. Dean shows up at Lisa’s house to tell her goodbye. There is a definite feeling of doom in the air.
SAM: Drive faster, Dean.
~*~*~
ROB : Be careful. It’s…dangerous around here.
DEAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
ROB: No need to thank us.
DEAN: No, hold up a sec! Who are you?
ROB: We’re the Sacrament Lutheran Militia.
DEAN: I’m sorry—the what?
ROB: I hate to tell you this, but those were demons and this is the Apocalypse. So…buckle up.
~*~*~
PASTOR GIDEON: Who would have thought the Apocalypse could be so romantic?
~*~*~
PASTOR GIDEON: So Rob tells me you boys hunt demons.
SAM: Uh…yes sir.
PASTOR GIDEON: You missed a few.
~*~*~
DEAN: Is that a twelve-year-old packing salt rounds?
~*~*~
DEAN: A whole town full of hunters. I don’t know whether to run screaming or buy a condo.
~*~*~
LEAH: It’s Sam and Dean Winchester. They’re safe. I know all about them.
DEAN: You do?
LEAH: Sure. From the angels.
DEAN: The angels. Awesome.
~*~*~
CASTIEL’S VOICEMAIL: You have reached the voicemail box of:
CASTIEL: I don’t understand why, why do you want me to say my name? (sounds of him pushing a random buttons)
~*~*~
DEAN: So, did you get a hold of Cas?
SAM: Yeah, I left him a message. I think.
~*~*~
SAM: Wanna go to church?
DEAN: You know me—downright pious.
~*~*~
SAM: No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed ninety percent of your personality.
DEAN: Yeah, well, whatever. When in Rome.
SAM: So, uh…you’re cool with it?
DEAN: I’m not cool. I’m not, not cool. I’m just, look man, I’m not a prophet. We’re not locals. It’s not my call.
~*~*~
DEAN: Don’t take this the wrong way but…are you on the level?
LEAH: About what?
DEAN: About paradise.
LEAH: What about it?
DEAN: I want to know what the angels are telling you. Everything.
LEAH: Well, uh…
DEAN: You can skip the rainbows.
LEAH: There’s gonna be a prize-fight. And…it’s gonna get bad. But after we win—and we will—the planet gets handed over to the chosen. And…it’s finally peaceful. No monsters, no disease, no death. You’re just…with the people you love.
DEAN: Of course, that’s if you can get past the velvet rope. Must be nice—being chosen.
LEAH: Well, Dean…you’re chosen.
DEAN: Yeah, more like cursed.
LEAH: Must be hard. Being the Vessel of Heaven and having no hope.
~*~*~
SAM: So what? You wanna, you wanna just want to stop fighting, roll over?
DEAN: I don’t know, maybe.
SAM: Don’t say that.
DEAN: Why not?
SAM: Cause you can’t do this.
DEAN: Actually, I can.
SAM: No you can’t. You can’t do this to me…I got one thing, one thing, keeping me going. You think you’re the only one white-knuckling it here, Dean? I can’t count on anyone else. I can’t do this alone.
~*~*~
CASTIEL: I got your message. It was long, your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating.
SAM: What’s wrong with you? Are you…drunk?
CASTIEL: No!…Yes.
SAM: What the hell happened to you?
CASTIEL: I found a liquor store.
SAM: And?
CASTIEL: And I drank it. Why’d you call me?
SAM: Whoa. There you go. Easy. Are you okay?
CASTIEL: Don’t ask stupid questions. Tell me what you need.
~*~*~
CASTIEL: The names of all the prophets, they’re seared into my brain. Leah Gideon is not one of them.
SAM: Then what is she?
~*~*~
SAM: We went out looking for—You alright?
DEAN: Yeah. It’s—it’s not my blood. Paul’s dead.
SAM: What?!
DEAN: Jane shot him.
CASTIEL: It’s starting.
DEAN: What’s starting? Where the hell have you been?
CASTIEL: On a bender.
DEAN: Did he—did you say “on a bender?”
SAM: Yeah. He’s still pretty smashed.
CASTIEL: It is not of import. We need to talk about what’s happening here.
DEAN: Well I’m all ears.
SAM: Well, for starters…Leah is not a real prophet.
DEAN: Well, what is she, exactly?
CASTIEL: The whore.
DEAN: Wow. Cas, tell us what you really think.
CASTIEL: She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her “the Whore of Babylon.”
DEAN: Well, that’s catchy.
SAM: The real Leah was probably killed months ago.
DEAN: What about the demons attacking the town?
CASTIEL: They’re under her control.
DEAN: And the Enochian exorcism?
CASTIEL: Fake. It actually means, “you, um, breed with the mouth of a goat.” (off their looks) It’s funnier in Enochian.
~*~*~
CASTIEL: The Whore can be killed with that. It’s a stake made from a cypress tree in Babylon.
DEAN: Great. Let’s ventilate her.
CASTIEL: It’s not that easy.
DEAN: ‘Course not.
CASTIEL: The Whore can only be killed by a true Servant of Heaven.
DEAN: Servant, like…
CASTIEL: Not you. Or me. Sam, of course, is an abomination. We’ll have to find someone else.
~*~*~
(Dean tosses Cas some Aspirin)
CASTIEL: How many should I take?
DEAN: You? You should probably just down the whole bottle.
~*~*~
SAM: Dean, how did you do that?
DEAN: What?
SAM: Kill her.
DEAN: Long run of luck held out, I guess.
SAM: Last I checked, she could only be ganked by a servant of Heaven.
DEAN: Well, what do you want me to tell you? I saw a shot. I went for it.
~*~*~
SAM: Are you gonna do something stupid?
DEAN: Like what?
SAM: Like Michael stupid.
DEAN: Come on, Sam. Give me a break.
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