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2/2 Mad Lib Results: A Scene from The Lone Gunmen :)

February 11th 2009 06:47


ACTUAL SCENE

The Lone Gunmen are huddled in the VW Bus in the middle of the snowy forest, trying to catch a poacher. Frohike gets an idea.

FROHIKE: Hey, I think I know something that'd get that joker out of his cabin...


(Cut to large knife being sharpened on a pedal-driven grinding machine. It's STUKAS. Suddenly there are "roar" sounds. STUKAS looks around. There's something in the bushes. It looks vaguely bear-ish. STUKAS takes down a rifle, licking his lips. The roars continue and we see a bearskin, under which is LANGLY.)

LANGLY: Oh, gall bladder! Oh, you know you want it! (into radio) Byers. What's happening now?

(The VW monitors show STUKAS moving away from the shack.)

BYERS: It's working, Langly. Get out of there.

LANGLY: See you later, sucker!

(LANGLY runs off.)

BYERS: Frohike, you're up.

(FROHIKE, in the woods, runs to Stukas' shack.)

(LANGLY, still covered in the bearskin, trips and falls. He tries to sit up and sees what's trapped him.)

LANGLY: Oh, crap!

(STUKAS is tracking through the woods. The letter is in his back pocket.)

~*~*~

(Inside Stukas' shack. Stacks of canned food.)

BYERS: (on radio) Frohike! Progress?

FROHIKE: I'm in.

(FROHIKE looks around then sees mail in a waste basket, including the courier envelope.)


BYERS: (on radio) Frohike? Any luck?

(The envelope is empty.)

FROHIKE: It's here somewhere. It's gotta be.

~*~*~
(In the woods, STUKAS is looking around then spots the "bear" on top of the trap. He aims his gun, then gets suspicious. He lowers the gun and edges over to the "bear". He prods it then pulls back the bearskin. The trap is there, so also are Langly's trousers. He grabs the trousers, ripping them free, then sniffs them and goes off in search of his quarry. LANGLY has been hiding behind a tree and moves away just as STUKAS finds the hiding places. As STUKAS edges forward, LANGLY appears briefly around the other side of the tree, and we see that under his trousers Langly is . . . . wearing orange tights.)

(Cut to the shack.)

FROHIKE: (into radio) I take it back. It's not here.

BYERS: (on radio) Keep looking. It has to be.

FROHIKE: I'm telling you, Byers. I've combed this place upside down.

(FROHIKE steps into a circle of wire which tightens around his ankle and hauls him up, dangling him from the ceiling.)

BYERS: Frohike! Frohike! Langly!

(Cut to STUKAS re-setting the bear trap. LANGLY is watching from behind the tree and sees the letter in STUKAS' back pocket. He reaches out for it.)

(Cut to shack. FROHIKE is swinging from the ceiling.)

BYERS: (on radio) Frohike. Get out of there.

FROHIKE: I got a little bit of a situation here, Byers.

(Cut to VW, BYERS is watching the monitors.)

BYERS: (into radio) Yes you do. He's coming back.

(Cut to shack. FROHIKE can see STUKAS through the window. FROHIKE tries desperately to swing his body up to the ceiling. STUKAS is slowly walking towards the door. FROHIKE makes another effort and disappears from view just as the door opens. STUKAS comes in, puts down his gun and peers through the curtains. The camera pans up and we see FROHIKE has managed to grab the antlers of a stuffed stag's head. STUKAS turns away from the window and reaches for the letter, realizes it's not there and leaves the shack. The stag's head no longer coping with FROHIKE'S weight, breaks and FROHIKE crashes for the floor.)
--Transcript thanks to TWIZTV.com

~*~*~

PAULA’S SCENE

The Lone Gunmen are SCRATCHING in the VW Bus in the middle of the STINKY ASH TRAY, trying to GAG a PANDA BEAR. Frohike gets an idea.

FROHIKE: Hey, I think I know something that'd DRIVE that POTATO out of his TOILET SEAT...

(Cut to large MASSGAGE being LAID on a VACUUM-driven grinding machine. It's A SNOWFLAKE. Suddenly there are "VROOM" sounds. THE SNOWFLAKE CLICKS around. There's something in the CANDIES. It looks vaguely BLADE-ish. THE SNOWFLAKE takes down a SHEEP, SLEEPING his lips. The VROOMS continue and we see AN APPLE JUICE, under which is LANGLY.)

LANGLY: Oh, GRAVE bladder! Oh, you know you want it! (into BLOOD) Byers. What's happening now?

(The VW monitors show THE SNOWFLAKE DRINKING away from the CANDLE.)

BYERS: It's working, Langly. JUMP out of there.

LANGLY: GROWL you later, sucker!

(LANGLY KISSES off.)

BYERS: Frohike, you're BEAUTIFUL.

(FROHIKE, in the ICE CREAM, LOVES to THE SNOW FLAKE’S GARLIC.)

(LANGLY, still covered in the APPLE JUICE, BREATHES and SWIMS. He tries to sit up and sees what's HUGGING him.)

LANGLY: Oh, crap!

(THE SNOWFLAKE is TAKING through the CANDLES. The TOILET PAPER is in his back pocket.)

~*~*~

(Inside THE SNOWFLAKE’S MOUSE. Stacks of FORKS.)

BYERS: (on radio) Frohike! Progress?

FROHIKE: I'm CRAZY.

(FROHIKE GIGGLES around then sees STAIRS in a NOISEY MT. EVEREST, including the SLIPPERY FLASHLIGHT.)

BYERS: (on BASEMENT) Frohike? Any MUFFIN?

(The SLIPPERY FLASHLIGHT is SWEET.)

FROHIKE: It's here somewhere. It's gotta be.

~*~*~

(In the woods, THE SNOWFLAKE is DANCING around then spots the "TURKEY" on top of the trap. He WATCHES his CLOCK, then gets suspicious. He lowers the CLOCK and RUNS over to the "TURKEY". He GRINS it then pulls back the FINGERNAILSKIN. The SNAIL is there, so also are Langly's DROPS. He grabs the DROPS, ripping them free, then sniffs them and SWINGS off in search of his DESERT. LANGLY has been EATING behind a BLIZZARD and PUNCHES away just as THE SNOWFLAKE finds the BATTERY. As THE SNOWFLAKE STARTS forward, LANGLY LEAKS briefly around the other side of the GAS, and we see that under his trousers Langly is . . . . wearing GLASSES.)

(Cut to the VODKA.)

FROHIKE: (into BUGS BUNNY) I take it back. It's not FURRY.

BYERS: (on HANDCUFFS) Keep THROWING. It has to be.

FROHIKE: I'm telling you, Byers. I've CRAWLED this PILLOW upside down.

(FROHIKE LAUGHS into a circle of PILLS which PINCH around his NOSE and hauls him up, dangling him from the SHOE.)

BYERS: Frohike! Frohike? Langly!

(Cut to THE SNOWFLAKE TYING the LOLLIPOP trap. LANGLY is BITING from behind the VALLEY and sees the MOSQUITO in THE SNOWFLAKE’S back pocket. He reaches out for it.)

(Cut to LOCKER ROOM. FROHIKE is CLOSING from the HAMMER.)

BYERS: (on radio) Frohike. HIDE out of there!

FROHIKE: I got a little bit of a situation here, Byers.

(Cut to VW, BYERS is WALKING the TAMPONS.)

BYERS: (into radio) Yes you do. He's DIVING back.

(Cut to MORGUE. FROHIKE can see THE SNOWFLAKE through the DIET COKE. FROHIKE tries desperately to BOW his body up to the COUCH. THE SNOWFLAKE is LOUDLY SCREAMING towards the SALAD. FROHIKE makes another effort and GIVES from view just as the ELF COOKS. THE SNOWFLAKE LEVITATES in, puts down his SAUSAGE and SUCKS through the SOCKS. The camera pans up and we see FROHIKE has managed to STROKE the CIGAR of a stuffed STICK. THE SNOWFLAKE turns away from the TAI FOOD and PLAYS for the TRAFFIC, realizes it's not there and leaves the MORGUE. The STICK head, no longer coping with FROHIKE'S CELLPHONE, SAVES and FROHIKE crashes for the LUBRICANT.)

~*~*~

Okay, it’s never good when there’s something “blade-ish” in your candies, and I love how Byers suddenly has to interrupt with “Frohike, you’re beautiful.” And that last paragraph? Wow, yeah I don’t even know what to say to that.

~*~*~

MEGGIE’S SCENE

The Lone Gunmen are BALLROOM DANCING in the VW Bus in the middle of the MUSHY GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE, trying to FLOP a PEG LEG. Frohike gets an idea.

FROHIKE: Hey, I think I know something that'd BITE that VAMPIRE out of his FISH...

(Cut to large UNICYCLE being WORSHIPED on a TOP HAT-driven grinding machine. It's A BEARD. Suddenly there are "SPLAT" sounds. THE BEARD ARMY CRAWLS around. There's something in the MEASLES. It looks vaguely DIAPER-ish. THE BEARD takes down a CARROT, CRYING his lips. The SPLATS continue and we see a BOBBLE-HEAD, under which is LANGLY.)

LANGLY: Oh, GUITAR bladder! Oh, you know you want it! (into ICEPICK) Byers. What's happening now?

(The VW monitors show THE BEARD EXPLODING away from the TELEPHONE POLE.)

BYERS: It's working, Langly. LEAP out of there.

LANGLY: TUMBLE you later, sucker!

(LANGLY PROOFREADS off.)

BYERS: Frohike, you're DEFIANT.

(FROHIKE, in the MUSHROOM, SHAVES to THE BEARD’S PYRAMID.)

(LANGLY, still covered in the BOBBLE-HEAD SKIN, SHRIVLES and SPEED SKATES. He tries to sit up and sees what's WAXING him.)

LANGLY: Oh, crap!

(THE BEARD is STINKING through the MARBLES. The SARCASTIC GREETING CARD is in his back pocket.)

~*~*~

(Inside THE BEARD’S SHIP WRECK. Stacks of MY LITTLE PONIES.)

BYERS: (on radio) Frohike! Progress?

FROHIKE: I'm ANCIENT.

(FROHIKE WRITHES around then sees TRAINS in a VIVACIOUS CORK, including the CREEPY TV COMMERCIAL.)

BYERS: (on SOAP) Frohike? Any CASH REGISTER?

(The CREEPY TV COMMERCIAL is HOT.)

FROHIKE: It's here somewhere. It's gotta be.

~*~*~

(In the woods, THE BEARD is SMASHING around then spots the "CORSET" on top of the trap. He RIDES his TURTLE, then gets suspicious. He lowers the TURTLE and SMITES over to the "CORSET". He HULA DANCES it then pulls back the KNIFESKIN. The BILLBOARD is there, so also are Langly's BOY BANDS. He grabs the BOY BANDS, ripping them free, then sniffs them and HYPNOTIZES off in search of his HAIR GEL. LANGLY has been SKIPPING behind a ROOSTER, and CLIMBS away just as THE BEARD finds the BED. As THE BEARD FOREGOES forward, LANGLY RECITES POETRY briefly around the other side of the MIRROR, and we see that under his trousers Langly is . . . . wearing CRACKERS.)

(Cut to the BOWLING BALL.)

FROHIKE: (into TACO STAND) I take it back. It's not WICKED.

BYERS: (on KNIGHT) Keep PUNCHING. It has to be.

FROHIKE: I'm telling you, Byers. I've DRAWN this CAPE upside down.

(FROHIKE BLEEDS into a circle of YOGURTS which BEAT around his LIVER and haul him up, dangling him from the DREAM.)

BYERS: Frohike? Frohike! Langly!

(Cut to THE BEARD LIP-SYNCING the BATTERY trap. LANGLY is RUNNING from behind the POND and sees the ARMY in THE BEARD’S back pocket. He reaches out for it.)

(Cut to DUNGEON. FROHIKE is SNEEZING from the DONUT.)

BYERS: (on radio) Frohike. SUMO WRESTLE out of there!

FROHIKE: I got a little bit of a situation here, Byers.

(Cut to VW, BYERS is HUGGING the LOVE HANDLES.)

BYERS: (into radio) Yes you do. He's MOOING back.

(Cut to HOGWARTS. FROHIKE can see THE BEARD through the STAGE. FROHIKE tries desperately to DIVIDE his body up to the CAMERA. THE BEARD is HAPHAZARDLY MAKING A CAKE towards the SALT SHAKER. FROHIKE makes another effort and GLARES from view just as the MICROPHONE JUMPS. THE BEARD BLOWS BUBBLES in, puts down his HAPPY THOUGHT and SASHAYS through the BUTLERS. The camera pans up and we see FROHIKE has managed to FLY the EYEBALL of a stuffed SHRIMP. THE BEARD turns away from the OCTOPUS and GIVES AN OSCAR-WINNING SPEECH for the BANANA, realizes it's not there and leaves the HOGWARTS. The SHRIMP head, no longer coping with FROHIKE'S FENCE, TEASES and FROHIKE crashes for the OVERSIZED BATHTUB.)

~*~*~

Hahaha! Oh man, words escape me on this one. All I can say is, I’d love to see some of that.
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1/5 Mad Lib Results: A Scene From The X-files

January 12th 2009 00:06

ACTUAL SCENE

(One minute before 6:00, the moving truck pulls away. Mulder stands
in the doorway, arm around Scully and they wave at the smiling
departing neighbors. As soon as the door is closed, Scully walks
into the living room.)

MULDER: Oh, yeah. Nothing weird going on around here.
(following Scully) Hey... ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me carry you over the threshold.

(Scully takes off her coat and faces Mulder.)

SCULLY: You ready?

MULDER: Let's get it on, honey.

SCULLY: (smiles) All right, then.

(She hands him a pair of latex gloves and goes to the box that Big Mike dropped and opens it. Sound of glass rattling. She pulls out
a piece of broken lab equipment and sighs.)

SCULLY: Thanks to our friendly neighbors there will be no fluorescein
bloodstain enhancement.

(Mulder is down on the floor pulling up a corner of the carpeting.)

MULDER: Not that it makes much difference. This place is so clean you could build computer chips.

(Scully takes out a small video camera and turns it on. She begins
walking through the first floor of the house, taping and narrating as she
goes.)

SCULLY: Okay. 6:01 p.m., February 24. Agents Scully and Mulder
in the former home of David and Nancy Kline who disappeared without
a trace last July. The Klines were the third such couple to disappear
since this neighborhood was built in 1991. All were apparently stable
professional people with no history of violence, domestic discord or
mental illness and it took a family member or employee to realize that
they were gone including their cars and a few personal items. What
local police found in each case was nothing-- just impeccably-manicured
homes and a community of neighbors who professed total ignorance
that anyone had disappeared.

MULDER: (walking by) That's pretty surprising considering how nutty this bunch is about being neighborly.

SCULLY: The local police department were at a dead end so they
turned to the FBI. AD Skinner, in assigning us this case, thought a
fruitful approach to the investigation would be if we went undercover
posing as prospective home buyers as this planned community would
seem to hide a dark, possibly murderous conspiracy of silence.

(Mulder comes very close into the video frame.)

MULDER: (seductively) You want to make that honeymoon video now?

(Scully turns the camera off. Mulder sits on the kitchen counter and pulls his gloves off.)

SCULLY: Rob and Laura Petrie?

MULDER: "Pee-trie."

SCULLY: Mulder, if we ever go undercover again I get to choose the
names, okay?

MULDER: Fine.

SCULLY: This tells me that you're not taking this seriously.

MULDER: I'm taking it seriously. I just don't understand why we're on it.
It's our first catch back on the X-Files. This isn't an X-File.

SCULLY: Sure it is. It's unexplained. What do you want, aliens?
Tractor beams?

MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to play house.

(Doorbell rings. Scully gives him a look and starts for the door.)

MULDER: (demanding) Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich!

(Scully stops, smiles slightly and snaps off her gloves, throws
them at his head and continues on to the door.)

MULDER: Did I not make myself clear?

PAULA’S SCENE

(One minute before 6:00, the moving GORILLA GIGGLES away. Mulder BENDS in the doorway, EYEBROW around Scully and they wave at the SCARY VOMITTING TAMPONS. As soon as the door is closed, Scully DANCES into the living room.)

MULDER: Oh, yeah. Nothing GROSS going on around here. (following Scully) Hey...ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me SUCK you over the FLUTE.

(Scully BOWS off her CHICKEN and faces Mulder.)

SCULLY: You SEXY?

MULDER: Let's get it on, INSANE.

SCULLY: (LICKS) All right, then.

(She hands him a pair of OLD CINNAMON STICKS and goes to the box that Big Mike dropped and BREATHES it. *Sound of LAUNDRY HUGGING.* She pulls out a piece of WET DIAPER and sighs.)

SCULLY: Thanks to our friendly SOCKS there will be no DIRTY
REFRIGERATOR enhancement.

(Mulder is down on the floor PUSHING up a corner of the WHEELCHAIR.)

MULDER: Not that it makes much difference. This ICE CREAM is so STINKY you could build WIZARD ROBES.

(Scully takes out a small JELLYFISH and turns it on. She begins JUMPING through the first floor of the house, FLASHING and narrating as she goes.)

SCULLY: Okay. 6:01 p.m., February 24. Agents Scully and Mulder in the former home of SPIDERMAN and PRIEST who disappeared without a trace last July. The SPIDERMAN AND PRIEST were the third such couple to PEEK since this SKATEBOARD was built in 1435. All were apparently FAT SAD people with no history of BITING, domestic STICKINESS or
SUNGLASSES illness and it took a family PHONE BOOK or FOREST to realize that they were gone, including their POTATOES and a few personal NEEDLES. What local MONKEYS found in each case was MUSHY-- just LOUDLY manicured BANANAS and a community of PLANETS who professed total HUNGRINESS that anyone had SMACKED.

MULDER: (SNIFFING by) That's pretty BEAUTIFUL considering how nutty this bunch is about being WEIRD.

SCULLY: The local MONKEYS department were at a SMART end so they turned to the FBI. AD Skinner, in SWIMMING us this CORNFIELD, thought a STRONG approach to the investigation would be if we went undercover posing as prospective TATTOO MOANERS as this KINKY community would seem to hide a DARK, possibly UGLY conspiracy of DRIVING.

(Mulder TALKS very close into the WINDY BEER.)

MULDER: (seductively) You want to make that BURRITO video now?

(Scully turns the TOOTHPASTE off. Mulder SHOWS on the kitchen counter and SNAPS his BOTTLES off.)

SCULLY: Rob and Laura Petrie?

MULDER: "Pee-trie."

SCULLY: Mulder, if we ever go THROWING again I get to choose the ELEPHANTS, okay?

MULDER: Fine.

SCULLY: This tells me that you're not taking this ANGRILY.

MULDER: I'm taking it ANGRILY. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first HAIR NET back on the KEY. This isn't a HAIR NET.

SCULLY: Sure it is. It's SOFT. What do you want, SHOES? SCISSORS?

MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to EXAMINE TOILET PAPER.

(*The HAMMER HANGS.* Scully gives him a look and COOKS for the HAMMER.)

MULDER: (INTERESTINGLY) Woman! SCRATCH back in here and SWOON me a PEANUT BUTTER!

(Scully stops, DROOLS SOFTLY and KILLS off her CIGARETTES, SOBS them at his head and LEAKS on to the HAMMER.)

MULDER: Did I not FLY myself BIG?

AMY'S SCENE

(One minute before 6:00, the moving SQUEEGEE THROWS away. Mulder KISSES in the doorway, CHEEK around Scully and they wave at the SOFT RUNNING SHOES. As soon as the door is closed, Scully YELLS into the living room.)

MULDER: Oh, yeah. Nothing AMUSING going on around here. (following Scully) Hey... ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me SHAKE you over the ALIEN.

(Scullly PONDERS off her LIFE and faces Mulder.)

SCULLY: You SWEET?

MULDER: Let's get it on, SILLY.

SCULLY: (DRIVES) All right, then.

(She hands him a pair of ENIGMATIC SUNFLOWER SEEDS and goes to the box that Big Mike dropped and DISSECTS it. *Sound of CADAVER BELIEVING.* She pulls out a piece of SPOOKY BADGE and sighs.)

SCULLY: Thanks to our friendly GUNS there will be no STRONG FILE enhancement.

(Mulder is down on the floor TRUSTING up a corner of the NO ONE.)

MULDER: Not that it makes much difference. This PENCIL is so HAPPY you could build BOOTS.

(Scully takes out a small CAMERA and turns it on. She begins SHOOTING through the first floor of the house, SEARCHING and narrating as she goes.)

SCULLY: Okay. 6:01 p.m., February 24. Agents Scully and Mulder in the former home of J. EDGAR HOOVER and DOLLY PARTON who disappeared without a trace last July. The same J. EDGAR HOOVER and DOLLY PARTON were the third such couple to DANCE since this QUEQUEG was built in 1999. All were apparently SEDUCTIVE RIDICULOUS people with no history of SOLVING, domestic PERPLEXING or CAR illness and it took a family BLOUSE or UFO to realize that they were gone, including their SALAMANDERS and a few personal TWINS. What local FLUKEMEN found in each case was SLIMY-- just JOYFULLY manicured BOOKS and a community of CHOPSTICKS who professed total UGLINESS that anyone had EATEN.

MULDER: (FIGHTING by) That's pretty TASTY considering how nutty this bunch is about being APPALLING.

SCULLY: The local FLUKEMEN department were at a MYSTERIOUS end so they
turned to the FBI. AD Skinner, in WRITING us this BBQ RIBS, thought a GLUTTONOUS approach to the investigation would be if we went undercover posing as prospective DOG SPRINTERS as this BRIGHT community would seem to hide a DARK, possibly FOGGY conspiracy of SLAPPING.

(Mulder NUDGES very close into the INTERESTING BUTTERFLY.)

MULDER: (seductively) You want to make that MICROSCOPE video now?

(Scully turns the CSM off. Mulder SHOUTS on the kitchen counter and WHISPERS his BABIES off.)

SCULLY: Rob and Laura Petrie?

MULDER: "Pee-trie."

SCULLY: Mulder, if we ever go LOVING again I get to choose the MARTINIS, okay?

MULDER: Fine.

SCULLY: This tells me that you're not taking this IMPATIENTLY.

MULDER: I'm taking it IMPATIENTLY. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first SANTA HAT back on the CHAIR. This isn't a SANTA HAT.

SCULLY: Sure it is. It's SMUG. What do you want, SUPER SOLDIERS? CASES?

MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to CARESS ICED TEA.

(*The FLOWER SHARPENS.* Scully gives him a look and LISTENS for the FLOWER.)

MULDER: (WHITE) Woman! SCOLD back in here and CONGRATULATE me a PAINTING!

(Scully stops, PULLS HEROICALLY and TYPES off her KEYS, GROWS them at his head and PUSHES on to the FLOWER.)

MULDER: Did I not DRINK myself SPARKLING?

SCULLYANGEL317'S SCENE

(One minute before 6:00, the moving FACE CRAWKS away. Mulder LICKS in the doorway, ELBOW around Scully and they wave at the SWEET ANNOUNCING LIGHTS. As soon as the door is closed, Scully RUNS into the living room.)

MULDER: Oh, yeah. Nothing PRETTY going on around here. (following Scully) Hey... ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me SQUEEZE you over the SHOE.

(Scully PATS off her DOG and faces Mulder.)

SCULLY: You SLINKY?

MULDER: Let's get it on, COLD.

SCULLY: (KISSES) All right, then.

(She hands him a pair of WET TOES and goes to the box that Big Mike dropped and CUDDLES it. *Sound of SHIRT BRUSHING.* She pulls out a piece of COLD PIE and sighs.)

SCULLY: Thanks to our friendly MEALS there will be no SHINY DEER enhancement.

(Mulder is down on the floor APPLAUDING up a corner of the CRUBMLE.)

MULDER: Not that it makes much difference. This DIRECT is so HOT you could build CAVES.

(Scully takes out a small BOOT and turns it on. She begins FLEXING through the first floor of the house, EMBRACING and narrating as she goes.)

SCULLY: Okay. 6:01 p.m., February 24. Agents Scully and Mulder in the former home of SCULLY and MULDER who disappeared without a trace last July. The same SCULLY and MULDER were the third such couple to FLATTER since this BIRD was built in 1980. All were apparently SLICK STROKED people with no history of BREATHING, domestic BLUSHING or
APPLE illness and it took a family CABLE or BASEBALL to realize that they were gone, including their CHILDREN and a few personal STRAWS. What local TENTS found in each case was PRICKLY-- just SLOWLY manicured TRIPS and a community of SPOONS who professed total SLOWNESS that anyone had WALTZED.

MULDER: (TWISTING by) That's pretty BATTY considering how nutty this bunch is about being SEXY.

SCULLY: The local TENTS department were at a RIDICULOUS end so they turned to the FBI. AD Skinner, in BLOWING us this BAT, thought a QUICK approach to the investigation would be if we went undercover posing as prospective HOUSE WINKERS as this WET community would seem to hide a BRIGHT, possibly STUPENDOUS conspiracy of FLUSHING.

(Mulder GRAZES very close into the FLUFFY CARD.)

MULDER: (seductively) You want to make that COAT video now?

(Scully turns the SOCK off. Mulder JOKES on the kitchen counter and LISTENS his CHIMES off.)

SCULLY: Rob and Laura Petrie?

MULDER: "Pee-trie."

SCULLY: Mulder, if we ever go HINTING again I get to choose the PAPERS, okay?

MULDER: Fine.

SCULLY: This tells me that you're not taking this SOFTLY.

MULDER: I'm taking it SOFTLY. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first BOSS back on the CLEAVAGE. This isn't a BOSS.

SCULLY: Sure it is. It's SHATTERED. What do you want, STAIRS? HANGERS?

MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to KNEEL UNDERWEAR.

(*The SCALPEL LAUGHS.* Scully gives him a look and KISSES for the SCALPEL.)

MULDER: (TATTERED) Woman! STEP back in here and LIMP me a HAT!

(Scully stops, INSULTS SCRATCHILY and POKES off her MONKEYS, NUDGES them at his head and MOANS on to the SCALPEL.)

MULDER: Did I not SHUDDER myself TASTY?

MEGGIE'S SCENE

(One minute before 6:00, the moving PEACH BEATS away. Mulder CLIMBS in the doorway, LITTLE TOE around Scully and they wave at the EMBARRASSED JUMPING CATERPILLARS. As soon as the door is closed, Scully SINGS into the living room.)

MULDER: Oh, yeah. Nothing ADORABLE going on around here. (following Scully) Hey... ooh, wait a minute. You didn't let me SLINK you over the POPSICLE.

(Scully KISSES off her UFO and faces Mulder.)

SCULLY: You CREEPY?

MULDER: Let's get it on, MASSIVE.

SCULLY: (DROPKICKS) All right, then.

(She hands him a pair of COURAGEOUS BANANAS and goes to the box that Big Mike dropped and FIGHTS it. *Sound of GARGOYLES SKIPPING.* She pulls out a piece of TENDER DUST BUSTER and sighs.)

SCULLY: Thanks to our friendly JELLY BEANS there will be no ANCIENT LUNCH BOX enhancement.

(Mulder is down on the floor ZIG ZAGGING up a corner of the HELICOPTER.)

MULDER: Not that it makes much difference. This PLUM is so DEFIANT you could build SLUGS.

(Scully takes out a small PIMPED OUT RIDE and turns it on. She begins BODY SLAMMING through the first floor of the house, DANCING and narrating as she goes.)

SCULLY: Okay. 6:01 p.m., February 24. Agents Scully and Mulder in the former home of BELLHOP and GRAMMY WINNING ARTIST who disappeared without a trace last July. The same BELLHOP AND GRAMMY WINNING ARTIST were the third such couple to SUMMERSAULT since this CLIFF was built in 42 BC. All were apparently ROTTEN CUDDLY people with no history of GAZING, domestic PERFECTNESS or BATHTUB illness and it took a family GOLF CART or BACON to realize that they were gone, including their JUMBO SHRIMP and a few personal SMURFS. What local MUFFINS found in each case was BLOODY-- just ADVENTUROUSLY manicured DIRTY SOCKS and a community of CLOWNS who professed total TASTINESS that anyone had CRIED.

MULDER: (SWOONING by) That's pretty SLIPPERY considering how nutty this bunch is about being SQUEALING.

SCULLY: The local MUFFINS department were at an ATTRACTIVE end so they turned to the FBI. AD Skinner, in SPEED SKATING us this GOLD MEDAL, thought a CHARISMATIC approach to the investigation would be if we went undercover posing as prospective SKY SCRAPER SMOOCHERS as this ITCHY community would seem to hide a DRAB, possibly WITTY conspiracy of STOP, DROP, AND ROLL.

(Mulder FROG LEAPS very close into the DEAFENING POWDER PUFF.)

MULDER: (seductively) You want to make that LEAD PIPE video now?

(Scully turns the ROCKING HORSE off. Mulder ARMY CRAWLS on the kitchen counter and SKIPS his BOYSENBERRIES off.)

SCULLY: Rob and Laura Petrie?

MULDER: "Pee-trie."

SCULLY: Mulder, if we ever go BLEEDING again I get to choose the COWS, okay?

MULDER: Fine.

SCULLY: This tells me that you're not taking this DASHINGLY.

MULDER: I'm taking it DASHINGLY. I just don't understand why we're on it. It's our first DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE back on the UNDERGROUND HIDEHOUT. This isn't a DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

SCULLY: Sure it is. It's EXUBERANT. What do you want, RATS? PILLOWS?

MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to DODGE TONGUES.

(*The BUTLER SWORD FIGHTS.* Scully gives him a look and BITES for the BUTLER.)

MULDER: (HUSKY) Woman! BURN back in here and SMITE me a GARAGE DOOR OPENER!

(Scully stops, THRIVES FOREBODINGLY and WEAVES off her BASEBALL BATS, SWEARS them at his head and RETHINKS on to the BUTLER.)

MULDER: Did I not SPIT myself GORGEOUS?
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Mad Lib Monday Results (10/20): A Scene from The X-files

October 24th 2008 06:41

This week's Mad Lib comes from The X-files episode "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas". Enjoy!

ACTUAL SCENE

(There is a pounding at the door.)

MULDER: (outside door) Hey, Scully!

MAURICE: Do you realize how seriously disturbed that man is? How dark and lonely? What he's capable of?

MULDER: (outside door) Scully?!

SCULLY: Mulder!

(Scully starts to run to the door, but stops for Maurice.)

MAURICE: Want your car keys?

(Maurice dangles her car keys in front of her. She stares at them.)

SCULLY: Where did you get those?

MAURICE: He's got nowhere to go this Christmas. No one to go with. Did he happen to mention a story about a lovers' pact?

SCULLY: Where did you get those keys?

MAURICE: The man is acting out an unconscious yearning. The deep-seated terror of being alone.

(More pounding on door.)

MULDER: (outside door) Scully... Scully, are you there?!

SCULLY: I'm here, Mulder!

MULDER: (outside door) Open the door, Scully!

SCULLY: (taking keys, to Maurice) Open the door.

(Maurice goes reluctantly to the door.)

MAURICE: I've seen it happen too many times in this house.

SCULLY: I don't believe you. Just open the door.

MAURICE: But...

SCULLY: Open the door!

(Maurice opens the door and Mulder enters the room, gun drawn.)

MULDER: Where's Scully?

SCULLY: Mulder?

(Mulder turns to face her and fires his gun at her. Scully stares at him in shock as Mulder, holding his gun, keeps advancing on her. Sculy holds her gun, but doesn't fire. He fires, shattering a mirror behind her.)

SCULLY: Mulder, what are you doing?

(he fires again)

SCULLY: Mulder!

MULDER: There's no getting out of here, Scully. There's no way home.

(Mulder fires his gun again)

SCULLY: Mulder, come on... Mulder, don't come any closer. You're scaring me. Put the gun down!

MULDER: You going to shoot me?!

SCULLY: I'm not going to shoot you! I don't want to shoot you!

MULDER: (maniacal) It's me or you... You or me. One of us has to do it.

SCULLY: (desperate) Mulder, look... We don't have to do this!

MULDER: Oh, yes, we do.

SCULLY: We can get out of here.

MULDER: Even if we could what's waiting for us? More loneliness! And then 365 more shopping days till even more loneliness!

SCULLY: I don't believe what you're saying! Mulder, I don't believe a word of it.

(Mulder lowers the angle of the gun and fires. Scully drops her gun and stares down in shock at the bullet wound in her abdomen. Blood slowly begins to seep into her white shirt. She looks back up at Mulder who is biting his lower lip as if in pain himself, but still has a wild look in his eyes. Slowly Scully falls to the floor, still staring up at him.)

MULDER: Merry Christmas, Scully.

(Mulder raises the gun to his own temple. Camera angle changes, showing us that is not Mulder, but Lyda pretending to be Mulder.)

LYDA: And a happy New Year.

~*~*~

MEGGIE'S MAD LIB

(There is a FORBIDING at the ONION.)

MULDER: (outside ONION) Hey, Scully!

MAURICE: Do you realize how seriously ADORABLE that man is? How JEALOUS and HOT? What he's capable of?

MULDER: (outside ONION) Scully?!

SCULLY: Mulder!

(Scully starts to KARATE CHOP to the ONION, but REWINDS for Maurice.)

MAURICE: Want your UNICORNS?

(Maurice dangles her UNICORNS in front of her. She SHRIVELS at them.)

SCULLY: Where did you get those?

MAURICE: He's got nowhere to go this TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY. No one to SWING DANCE with. Did he happen to mention a story about a lovers' SNOW SHOE?

SCULLY: Where did you get those UNICORNS?

MAURICE: The man is SEWING out an unconscious UNDIGESTIED APPLE DUMPLING. The deep-seated terror of being CLUMSY.

(More pounding on the ONION.)

MULDER: (outside ONION) Scully... Scully, are you SINGING?!

SCULLY: I'm CRYING, Mulder!

MULDER: (outside ONION) Open the ONION, Scully!

SCULLY: (taking UNICORNS, to Maurice) JUMP ROPE the ONION.

(Maurice goes FLAUNTINGLY to the ONION.)

MAURICE: I've seen it happen too many times in this DISH WASHER.

SCULLY: I don't believe you. Just SLINK the ONION.

MAURICE: But...

SCULLY: SLINK the ONION!

(Maurice SLINKS the ONION and Mulder THRUSTS the LAMP SHADE, TUGBOAT drawn.)

MULDER: Where's Scully?

SCULLY: Mulder?

(Mulder OVERSLEEPS to face her and JUMPS his TUGBOAT at her. Scully stares at him in shock as Mulder, holding his TUGBOAT, keeps TUMBLING on her. Scully holds her CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, but doesn't CORRUPT it. He CORRUPTS it, shattering a WET NOODLE behind her.)

SCULLY: Mulder, what are you doing?

(he CORRUPTS again)

SCULLY: Mulder!

MULDER: There's no getting out of here, Scully. There's no way home.

(Mulder KISSES his LEFT TOE again)

SCULLY: Mulder, come on... Mulder, don't GRIND any closer. You're scaring me. Put the TUGBOAT down!

MULDER: You going to PERM me?!

SCULLY: I'm not going to PERM you! I don't want to PERM you!

MULDER: (SLOPPILY) It's me or you... You or me. One of us has to HIDE it!

SCULLY: (CREATIVELY) Mulder, look... We don't have to BLOW this!

MULDER: Oh yes we do!

SCULLY: We can BOUNCE out of here!

MULDER: Even if we could what's waiting for us? More COWS! And then 365 more PICKLE days till even more COWS!

SCULLY: I don't believe what you're saying! Mulder, I don't believe a word of it.

(Mulder lowers the angle of the TUGBOAT and FLIES. Scully drops her TIRE and stares down in shock at the CLOWN NOSE wound in her KNEE. DAWN DISH SOAP DREAMILY begins to seep into her GLAMOROUS DEAD TREE BRANCH. She LEAPS back up at Mulder who is biting his lower CANKLE as if in pain himself, but still has an ANCIENT look in his eyes. EROTICALLY, Scully LIES to the floor, still MOWING up at him.)

MULDER: THUNDEROUS SLUG, Scully!

(Mulder raises the TUGBOAT to his own TONGUE. Camera angle changes, showing us that it’s not Mulder, but THE LAID-OFF GARBAGE MAN pretending to be Mulder.)

LAID-OFF GARBAGE MAN: And an ENOURAGING BLOW TORCH!

~*~*~

MULDER: You going to PERM me?!

SCULLY: I'm not going to PERM you! I don't want to PERM you!

AHAHAHA! Mulder with a perm? No wonder he's paranoid! LOL "THUNDEROUS SLUG" everyone!

~*~*~

PAULA'S MAD LIB

(There is a LICKING at the SPONGE.)

MULDER: (outside SPONGE) Hey, Scully!

MAURICE: Do you realize how seriously FLUFFY that man is? How STICKY and JUICY? What he's capable of?

MULDER: (outside SPONGE) Scully?!

SCULLY: Mulder!

(Scully starts to SMILE to the SPONGE, but KISSES for Maurice.)

MAURICE: Want your MOOSE?

(Maurice dangles her MOOSE in front of her. She SCREAMS at them.)

SCULLY: Where did you get those?

MAURICE: He's got nowhere to go this CHRISTMAS. No one to DANCE with. Did he happen to mention a story about a lovers' COOKIE?

SCULLY: Where did you get those MOOSE?

MAURICE: The man is GIGGLING out an unconscious TREE. The deep-seated terror of being SEXY.

(More pounding on SPONGE.)

MULDER: (outside SPONGE) Scully... Scully, are you JUMPING?!

SCULLY: I'm HUGGING, Mulder!

MULDER: (outside SPONGE) Open the SPONGE, Scully!

SCULLY: (taking MOOSE, to Maurice) FLY the SPONGE.

(Maurice goes HAPPILY to the SPONGE.)

MAURICE: I've seen it happen too many times in this FOOT.

SCULLY: I don't believe you. Just SUCK the SPONGE.

MAURICE: But...

SCULLY: SUCK the SPONGE!

(Maurice SUCKS the SPONGE and Mulder BITES the BUTT, DISHWASHER drawn.)

MULDER: Where's Scully?

SCULLY: Mulder?

(Mulder STICKS to face her and SHARES his DISHWASHER at her. Scully stares at him in shock as Mulder, holding his DISHWASHER, keeps SEEING on her. Scully holds her VICTIM, but doesn't SACRIFICE. He SACRIFICES, shattering a FIRE behind her.)

SCULLY: Mulder, what are you doing?

(he SACRIFICES again)

SCULLY: Mulder!

MULDER: There's no getting out of here, Scully. There's no way home.

(Mulder WORSHIPS his HORNED BEAST again)

SCULLY: Mulder, come on... Mulder, don't DRIVE any closer. You're scaring me. Put the DISHWASHER down!

MULDER: You going to BEAT me?!

SCULLY: I'm not going to BEAT you! I don't want to BEAT you!

MULDER: (QUICKLY) It's me or you... You or me. One of us has to SNAP it!

SCULLY: (SOMETIMES) Mulder, look... We don't have to SHOOT this!

MULDER: Oh, yes, we do!

SCULLY: We can MISS out of here!

MULDER: Even if we could what's waiting for us? More LATEX GLOVES! And then 365 more TAPE days till even more LATEX GLOVES!

SCULLY: I don't believe what you're saying! Mulder, I don't believe a word of it.

(Mulder lowers the angle of the DISHWASHER and DIGS. Scully drops her NOSE and stares down in shock at the OFFICE wound in her FACE. WATER FASTLY begins to seep into her WET UNDERWEAR. She TOUCHES back up at Mulder who is biting his lower LOWER BACK as if in pain himself, but still has a SOFT look in his eyes. BEAUTIFULLY, Scully BREATHES to the floor, still WALKING up at him.)

MULDER: NASTY LIPSTICK, Scully!

(Mulder raises the DISHWASHER to his own CHEST. Camera angle changes, showing us that it’s not Mulder, but MAN pretending to be Mulder.)

MAN: And a BIG SANTA HAT!

~*~*~

MAURICE: The man is GIGGLING out an unconscious TREE. The deep-seated terror of being SEXY.

I hate it when that happens! LoL I don't know if it was such a good idea for Mulder to bite the butt. That can't be easy when trying to draw your dishwasher. And just exactly how low is the lower lower back? SUCK the SPONGE! Ahahaa

~*~*~

AMY'S MAD LIB

(There is a SMACKING at the JUMP ROPE.)

MULDER: (outside JUMP ROPE) Hey, Scully!

MAURICE: Do you realize how seriously RED that man is? How ENIGMATIC and SOFT? What he's capable of?

MULDER: (outside JUMP ROPE) Scully?!

SCULLY: Mulder!

(Scully starts to POKE to the JUMP ROPE, but PUSHES for Maurice.)

MAURICE: Want your COCONUTS?

(Maurice dangles her COCONUTS in front of her. She SLURPS at them.)

SCULLY: Where did you get those?

MAURICE: He's got nowhere to go this NATIONAL CHIHUAHUA WEEK. No one to STROKE with. Did he happen to mention a story about a lovers' PUMPKIN?

SCULLY: Where did you get those COCONUTS?

MAURICE: The man is SLINGING out an unconscious PURSE. The deep-seated terror of being SLIMY.

(More pounding on JUMP ROPE.)

MULDER: (outside JUMP ROPE) Scully... Scully, are you GLARING?!

SCULLY: I'm QUESTIONING, Mulder!

MULDER: (outside JUMP ROPE) Open the JUMP ROPE, Scully!

SCULLY: (taking COCONUTS, to Maurice) GROPE the JUMP ROPE.

(Maurice goes LUXURIOUSLY to the JUMP ROPE.)

MAURICE: I've seen it happen too many times in this HIGH HEEL SHOE.

SCULLY: I don't believe you. Just DISSECT the JUMP ROPE.

MAURICE: But...

SCULLY: DISSECT the JUMP ROPE!

(Maurice DISSECTS the JUMP ROPE and Mulder SHOOTS the GUN, MIROSCOPE drawn.)

MULDER: Where's Scully?

SCULLY: Mulder?

(Mulder STRETCHES to face her and LAUGHS his MICROSCOPE at her. Scully stares at him in shock as Mulder, holding his MICROSCOPE, keeps FROWNING on her. Scully holds her NECKLACE, but doesn't PULL. He PULLS, shattering a WATERCOOLER behind her.)

SCULLY: Mulder, what are you doing?

(he PULLS again)

SCULLY: Mulder!

MULDER: There's no getting out of here, Scully. There's no way home.

(Mulder SLUGS his HAIR DRYER again)

SCULLY: Mulder, come on... Mulder, don't CARESS any closer. You're scaring me. Put the MICROSCOPE down!

MULDER: You going to SHAKE me?!

SCULLY: I'm not going to SHAKE you! I don't want to SHAKE you!

MULDER: (ANXIOUSLY) It's me or you... You or me. One of us has to CUT it!

SCULLY: (CONFIDENTLY) Mulder, look... We don't have to DANCE this!

MULDER: Oh, yes, we do!

SCULLY: We can KISS out of here!

MULDER: Even if we could what's waiting for us? More ALIENS! And then 365 more FISH TANK days till even more ALIENS!

SCULLY: I don't believe what you're saying! Mulder, I don't believe a word of it.

(Mulder lowers the angle of the MICROSCOPE and EATS. Scully drops her MEATBALLS and stares down in shock at the RENTAL CAR wound in her ARM. ICED TEA GENTLY begins to seep into her BEAUTIFUL COUCH. She CARVES back up at Mulder who is biting his lower EYES as if in pain himself, but still has an ANGRY look in his eyes. CAUTIOUSLY, Scully SEWS to the floor, still COOKING up at him.)

MULDER: PURPLE LAB COAT, Scully!

(Mulder raises the MICROSCOPE to his own FOOT. Camera angle changes, showing us that it’s not Mulder, but SKINNER pretending to be Mulder.)

SKINNER: And a SMUG SMILE!

~*~*~

Mulder's got nowhere to go this NATIONAL CHIHUAHUA WEEK? Awww, how sad!

MULDER: Even if we could what's waiting for us? More ALIENS! And then 365 more FISH TANK days till even more ALIENS!

That's so true!! LoL And very funny that Skinner is pretending to be Mulder.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh how I love this hilarious randomness. hehe Thanks for playing!!
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Introducing Mad Lib Monday! Come on, you know you want to play…:)

September 8th 2008 20:13
What, you say, is a “Mad Lib”? Well, in one word, it’s a game. Which I will explain in detail in a second, but first let me tell you where the idea for this fun TV Chit Chat version of an old classic came from…

The past few days I’ve been cleaning out my basement on the run from toxic mold, and low and behold, what should I find but an old tablet of that crazy party game known as “Mad Libs”. That’s right, the official “Game for people who don’t like games.”
Anyone can play from one person to a million, and after reading through some of the crazy stories I came up with as a child, I thought, “Hey, wouldn’t this be fun to do with scenes from our favorite shows?” And bam! That’s when it hit me. Why not have a Mad Lib Monday doing just that?

So here are the rules from the official Mad Libs book I found in my box of childhood goodies:

RIDICULOUSLY SIMPLE DIRECTIONS:
In this tablet (our in our case, “on this website” ) you will find stories containing blank spaces where the words are left out. One player, the READER (that’s me), selects one of these stories (in our case, tv scripts). The READER (Me again ) does not tell anyone what the story is about. Instead she asks the other players, the WRITERS (that’s you guys!), to give her words. These words are used to fill in the blank spaces in the story.


TO PLAY:

I’ll post a list of the types of words I’ll need to complete the story (Noun, adjective, verb, etc.) on Monday, and each of you will post your list of words in the comments section. At the end of a week, I’ll take each person’s word list and insert them into the story and post the results!

As the official rules say,
After all the spaces are filled in, the result is a MAD LIB. The READER then reads the completed MAD LIB to the other players. They will hear that they have written a story that is fantastic, screamingly funny, shocking, silly, crazy, or just plain dumb.

So what do you say guys and gals? Are you up for it? I used to play this all the time with my sisters and it was so much fun. And easy! Not to mention anyone, young or old, really can play and enjoy it.

Just in case you’ve forgotten what adjectives, adverbs, nouns, and verbs are, here’s a quick review:

Adjective: Describes something or somebody (lumpy, soft, ugly, messy, short)

Adverb: Tells how something is done. It modifies a verb and usually ends in “ly”. (Modestly, stupidly, greedily, carefully)

Noun: Person place, or thing.

Verb: Action word (run, pitch, jump, swim)

Geographical location: Any sort of place from a country or city to the bathroom or kitchen.

Exclamation or silly word: Any sort of funny sound, gasp, grunt or outcry (Wow! Ouch! Whomp! Ick! Bang!)

Some stories may call for specific words like: A number, a color, an animal, or a part of the body.

When PLURAL is asked for (as in more than one thing), be sure to put an “s” on the end, or pluralize the word.

Get it now? It sounds so simple, but it sure is a lot of fun! So who’s with me? This is one game I cannot play by myself!

And now, just for fun, here’s an actual example that I found while cleaning out my closet. I was probably about ten years old when I did it. LoL The words in red are the ones I would be asking you for if this were a real Mad Lib Monday.

COLUMBUS AND ISABELLA
(Dramatic Scene)

COLUMBUS: Queen Isabella, it is I, Christopher Columbus. I have returned after discovering a new route to the bathroom!

ISABELLA: That’s news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious chopsticks?

COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you’ll never have to pawn the royal candles again. I discovered a fat land populated by fierce, red bears, and I clamed them all in the name of the Spanish Toilet!

ISABELLA: Holey Moley! This will please my husband, Frodo. What are these natives called?

COLUMBUS: They are called pandas your majesty. They put oil on their faces and wear dolls in their hair.

ISABELLA: You have made a bumpy voyage Columbus, and your box will go down in history!

End Scene.

Haha, fun times...Alright then, if I have some players, I'm all ready to go and post the first real round of Mad Lib Monday! Anybody want to play? Please? It’ll be fun, I promise.
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