Mad Lib Monday Results: A Scene From LOST
September 18th 2008 20:30
HAHAHA! Some of these are just so wrong...but so hilarious! 
In the jungle, Locke, Hurley, and Ben stare at the cabin.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not going in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The Island wanted me to get sick. It wanted you to get well. My time is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just stares at him and Hurley adds slowly, “Yeah, I’m cool with you going in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke heading in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good luck.
Locke approaches the cabin carefully and steps in. There is a man sitting in a chair, hidden in shadows. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can talk for him.
Locke steps closer, letting his lantern light highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead father. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was chosen to be.”
Jack’s dad whispers, “That’s absolutely right.”
Suddenly a chair creeks in the corner . Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
Locke asks where the baby is, and Jack’s dad says he’s fine. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant questions. “So why don’t you ask the one question that does matter.”
Locke stares at him, then finally asks, “How do I save The Island?”
Christian looks at Claire. They both have knowing almost smiles on their faces…
Outside, Hurley pulls a candy bar out of his pocket. Ben eyes it wordlessly, and Hurley breaks it in half and offers him the other side. Ben takes it. They sit and wait.
Locke exits the cabin and Ben and Hurley anxiously stand up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a deep breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to move The Island.
~*~*~
Okay, on with the Mad Libs! And I've found out a way that I can play too...yay!
~*~*~
In the VOLCANO, Locke, Hurley, and Ben CRY at the HOT AIR BALLOON.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not SNEEZEing in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The TRASHCAN wanted me to get SQUISHY. It wanted you to get LUMPY. My SKUNK is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just SKIPs at him and Hurley adds SLYLY, “Yeah, I’m HOT with you SLITHERing in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke JUMPing in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good OUTHOUSE.
Locke EXPOLOREs the cabin CRAZILY and FALLs in. There is a BLOWTORCH sitting in a GIANT BALL OF TWINE, hidden in THE MOON. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can COUGH for him.
Locke RUNs closer, letting his ELBOW highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead CLOWN. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was BOUNCED to be.”
Jack’s dad EXPLODEs, “That’s SWEETLY right.”
Suddenly a CACTUS SKIPs in the CLOUD. Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m UGLY.”
Locke asks where the TORNADO is, and Jack’s dad says he’s LIMP. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant MOUNTAINs. “So why don’t you ask the one TIRE that does matter.”
Locke SUCKs at him, then finally asks, “How do I YELL The BISCUIT?”
Christian SNORTs at Claire. They both have ROLLER BLADES on their faces…
Outside, Hurley SLOSHES a CORNCOB out of his MICROWAVE. Ben eyes it STUPIDLY, and Hurley BOUNCEs it in half and offers him the other side. Ben DRINKs it. They HONK and FAINT.
Locke exits the TOUPEE and Ben and Hurley LOUDLY SWIM up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a BEAUTIFUL breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to SLOUCH The STACK OF PANCAKES.
~*~*~
My skunk is over. It's yours now...
~*~*~
In the DOG HOUSE, Locke, Hurley, and Ben SMELL at the TOOTHBRUSH.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not TAKEing in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The TOILET wanted me to get FLUFFY. It wanted you to get FAT. My LIGHTER is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just TYPEs at him and Hurley adds EXTREMELY, “Yeah, I’m MODEST with you LOVEing in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke DANCing in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good HAMMER.
Locke PINCHes the cabin OFTEN and KICKs in. There is a KETTLE sitting in a BROOMSTICK, hidden in MICROWAVE. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can DIG for him.
Locke SKIPS closer, letting his VIRGIN highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead PROFESSOR. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was LOST to be.”
Jack’s dad DIVEs, “That’s AMAZINGLY right.”
Suddenly a LAWN MOWER PUNCHES in the CHURCH. Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m GREEN.”
Locke asks where the HANDCUFFS are, and Jack’s dad says he’s SHY. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant JOBs. “So why don’t you ask the one QUEST that does matter.”
Locke BLOWs at him, then finally asks, “How do I RUN The RING?”
Christian GROWs at Claire. They both have MOOSE on their faces…
Outside, Hurley PLANTs a LAKE out of his DIAPER. Ben eyes it WELL, and Hurley FEEDs it in half and offers him the other side. Ben STICKs it. They ENTER and EXPLORE.
Locke exits the WAND and Ben and Hurley GREATLY SPANK up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a SEXY breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to GAG The BEARD.
~*~*~
AHHHahahaha!! That whole last part had me laughing so hard I was crying. The diaper?? The image of Ben and Hurley greatly spanking up to get ready to gag The Beard is too funny!
~*~*~
In the MEXICO CITY, Locke, Hurley, and Ben TROUNCE at the MIRROR.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not BLOWing in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The TEDDY BEAR wanted me to get SQUISHY. It wanted you to get SILKY. My CHAPSTICK is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just DROP KICKs at him and Hurley adds SOLEMNLY, “Yeah, I’m SQUARE with you TUMBLing in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke RIPPING in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good FEATHER BOA.
Locke SPLATTERs the cabin SPRIGHTLY and FLUTTERs in. There is a CORN ON THE COB sitting in a SEQUIN HANDBAG, hidden in SHOELACES. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can PICK for him.
Locke PAINTs closer, letting his VINTAGE DOORKNOBS highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead SARAH PALIN. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was CUPID SHUFFLED to be.”
Jack’s dad CRIES, “That’s BLATANTLY right.”
Suddenly a CARBON SKIPs in the ARGENTINEAN FISHING BOAT . Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m SOAPY.”
Locke asks where the BAMBOO is, and Jack’s dad says he’s WOVEN. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant SIDEWALK CHALKs. “So why don’t you ask the one HANDMADE QUILT that does matter.”
Locke ZIPs at him, then finally asks, “How do I SKATE The DICTIONARY?”
Christian DISCOVERs at Claire. They both have GLASS STEMWARE on their faces…
Outside, Hurley ECHOES a SUBWAY out of his SATIN BOW. Ben eyes it MERRILY, and Hurley PITCHES it in half and offers him the other side. Ben PLAITS it. They EXTINGUISH and BIFF.
Locke exits the LIBRARY and Ben and Hurley ANGRILY HUG up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a WORN breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to GLUE The EGYPTIAN COTTON SHEETS.
~*~*~
“Locke SPLATTERs the cabin SPRIGHTLY and FLUTTERs in.” LoL! Now there’s an image! He wants us to...dun, dun, duuun...Glue the Egyptian cotton sheets! AHHH! I highlight you with my vintage doorknobs!!
~*~*~
Thanks for playing! More fun next week!
ACTUAL SCENE:
In the jungle, Locke, Hurley, and Ben stare at the cabin.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not going in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The Island wanted me to get sick. It wanted you to get well. My time is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just stares at him and Hurley adds slowly, “Yeah, I’m cool with you going in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke heading in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good luck.
Locke approaches the cabin carefully and steps in. There is a man sitting in a chair, hidden in shadows. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can talk for him.
Locke steps closer, letting his lantern light highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead father. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was chosen to be.”
Jack’s dad whispers, “That’s absolutely right.”
Suddenly a chair creeks in the corner . Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
Locke stares at him, then finally asks, “How do I save The Island?”
Christian looks at Claire. They both have knowing almost smiles on their faces…
Outside, Hurley pulls a candy bar out of his pocket. Ben eyes it wordlessly, and Hurley breaks it in half and offers him the other side. Ben takes it. They sit and wait.
Locke exits the cabin and Ben and Hurley anxiously stand up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a deep breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to move The Island.
~*~*~
Okay, on with the Mad Libs!
And I've found out a way that I can play too...yay! ~*~*~
MEGGIE'S STORY
]In the VOLCANO, Locke, Hurley, and Ben CRY at the HOT AIR BALLOON.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not SNEEZEing in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The TRASHCAN wanted me to get SQUISHY. It wanted you to get LUMPY. My SKUNK is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just SKIPs at him and Hurley adds SLYLY, “Yeah, I’m HOT with you SLITHERing in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke JUMPing in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good OUTHOUSE.
Locke EXPOLOREs the cabin CRAZILY and FALLs in. There is a BLOWTORCH sitting in a GIANT BALL OF TWINE, hidden in THE MOON. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can COUGH for him.
Locke RUNs closer, letting his ELBOW highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead CLOWN. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was BOUNCED to be.”
Jack’s dad EXPLODEs, “That’s SWEETLY right.”
Suddenly a CACTUS SKIPs in the CLOUD. Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m UGLY.”
Locke asks where the TORNADO is, and Jack’s dad says he’s LIMP. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant MOUNTAINs. “So why don’t you ask the one TIRE that does matter.”
Locke SUCKs at him, then finally asks, “How do I YELL The BISCUIT?”
Christian SNORTs at Claire. They both have ROLLER BLADES on their faces…
Outside, Hurley SLOSHES a CORNCOB out of his MICROWAVE. Ben eyes it STUPIDLY, and Hurley BOUNCEs it in half and offers him the other side. Ben DRINKs it. They HONK and FAINT.
Locke exits the TOUPEE and Ben and Hurley LOUDLY SWIM up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a BEAUTIFUL breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to SLOUCH The STACK OF PANCAKES.
~*~*~
My skunk is over. It's yours now...
~*~*~
PAULA'S STORY
In the DOG HOUSE, Locke, Hurley, and Ben SMELL at the TOOTHBRUSH.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not TAKEing in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The TOILET wanted me to get FLUFFY. It wanted you to get FAT. My LIGHTER is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just TYPEs at him and Hurley adds EXTREMELY, “Yeah, I’m MODEST with you LOVEing in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke DANCing in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good HAMMER.
Locke PINCHes the cabin OFTEN and KICKs in. There is a KETTLE sitting in a BROOMSTICK, hidden in MICROWAVE. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can DIG for him.
Locke SKIPS closer, letting his VIRGIN highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead PROFESSOR. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was LOST to be.”
Jack’s dad DIVEs, “That’s AMAZINGLY right.”
Suddenly a LAWN MOWER PUNCHES in the CHURCH. Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m GREEN.”
Locke asks where the HANDCUFFS are, and Jack’s dad says he’s SHY. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant JOBs. “So why don’t you ask the one QUEST that does matter.”
Locke BLOWs at him, then finally asks, “How do I RUN The RING?”
Christian GROWs at Claire. They both have MOOSE on their faces…
Outside, Hurley PLANTs a LAKE out of his DIAPER. Ben eyes it WELL, and Hurley FEEDs it in half and offers him the other side. Ben STICKs it. They ENTER and EXPLORE.
Locke exits the WAND and Ben and Hurley GREATLY SPANK up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a SEXY breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to GAG The BEARD.
~*~*~
AHHHahahaha!! That whole last part had me laughing so hard I was crying. The diaper?? The image of Ben and Hurley greatly spanking up to get ready to gag The Beard is too funny!
~*~*~
KIM’S STORY
In the MEXICO CITY, Locke, Hurley, and Ben TROUNCE at the MIRROR.
Locke: Alright let’s do this.
Ben: I’m not BLOWing in there with you.
Locke: What?
Ben: The TEDDY BEAR wanted me to get SQUISHY. It wanted you to get SILKY. My CHAPSTICK is over. It’s yours now.
Locke just DROP KICKs at him and Hurley adds SOLEMNLY, “Yeah, I’m SQUARE with you TUMBLing in alone too…”
Alright then, it’s Locke RIPPING in to talk to Jacob alone. Ben wishes him good FEATHER BOA.
Locke SPLATTERs the cabin SPRIGHTLY and FLUTTERs in. There is a CORN ON THE COB sitting in a SEQUIN HANDBAG, hidden in SHOELACES. Jacob? No, it’s not Jacob, but someone who says they can PICK for him.
Locke PAINTs closer, letting his VINTAGE DOORKNOBS highlight the man’s face. It’s Christian, as in Jack’s dead SARAH PALIN. Locke sits down. Okay…?
“You know why I’m here?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you?”
Locke takes a moment then answers, “I’m here…because I was CUPID SHUFFLED to be.”
Jack’s dad CRIES, “That’s BLATANTLY right.”
Suddenly a CARBON SKIPs in the ARGENTINEAN FISHING BOAT . Locke gets up and—“Claire?”
“Hi John.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m SOAPY.”
Locke asks where the BAMBOO is, and Jack’s dad says he’s WOVEN. He’s where he’s supposed to be. He tells Locke they don’t have time for unimportant SIDEWALK CHALKs. “So why don’t you ask the one HANDMADE QUILT that does matter.”
Locke ZIPs at him, then finally asks, “How do I SKATE The DICTIONARY?”
Christian DISCOVERs at Claire. They both have GLASS STEMWARE on their faces…
Outside, Hurley ECHOES a SUBWAY out of his SATIN BOW. Ben eyes it MERRILY, and Hurley PITCHES it in half and offers him the other side. Ben PLAITS it. They EXTINGUISH and BIFF.
Locke exits the LIBRARY and Ben and Hurley ANGRILY HUG up.
Ben: Did he tell you what we’re supposed to do?
Locke takes in a WORN breath. “He did…”
Ben: Well?
Locke: He wants us to GLUE The EGYPTIAN COTTON SHEETS.
~*~*~
“Locke SPLATTERs the cabin SPRIGHTLY and FLUTTERs in.” LoL! Now there’s an image! He wants us to...dun, dun, duuun...Glue the Egyptian cotton sheets! AHHH!
I highlight you with my vintage doorknobs!!~*~*~
Thanks for playing! More fun next week!
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