Meggie
DreamboatAmy84
LilithGrey’s Anatomy: The Becoming
September 30th 2008 22:21
Meredith: (VO) There’s this person in my head. She is brilliant, capable, she can do chest tubes and tracheotomies, she can run a code without freaking out. She’s a really good surgeon, maybe even a great surgeon. She’s me, only so much better.
~*~*~
In therapy, Meredith confesses that, “Every time Derek walks into a room, all I can think about is his tongue…in my mouth.”
“So you think about kissing Derek.”
“It’s making surgery very difficult.” She wants some therapeutic tools to help her get through it so that she can finally save someone in the trials she and Derek are conducting. They have their fifth patient today.
Her therapist makes her think about reality. “The kissing’s not going to happen now because he’s with Rose…”
“Powerful stuff reality.”
~*~*~
Outside the patient’s room, Meredith chants, “He’s with Rose, he’s with Rose, he’s with Rose…” Right. She goes in. “Sorry I’m late.”
Their new patient was in the Army. His dad brought in all his army buddies to help him through this.
~*~*~
Bailey knocks on the clinical room door. “Dr. Sloan?”
Sloan opens the door bare-chested, and then semi-closes it again. “Dr. Bailey, Dr. Bailey’s baby…”
She tells him that it appears his nurse is no longer available for his surgery. Okay then, get him Nurse Kate. Sloan ducks back inside. A woman giggles.
Bailey checks her sheets then knocks on the door again. “Dr. Torres, Dr. Sloan would like to use Nurse Kate this morning.” Currently she’s scheduled for one of Callie’s surgeries, but if she’s willing to move it back Nurse Kate can do both.
There is a moment where we hear Sloan say “Ow!”, and impatient, Bailey knocks on the door again. “Dr. Torres, I know you’re in there.”
Callie opens the door. Yeah push it back an hour, whatever, that’ll be fine. She tells Tuck hi, then glances back at Miranda. “Don’t judge be Bailey.”
~*~*~
Everyone except Cristina is crowded around the bulletin board. Meredith asks if Cristina’s seen “it” yet, and Izzie thinks they should take it down. She reaches for it, then pulls back telling George to take it down. Meredith argues that they can’t take it down because she’ll hear about it eventually.
“Who’s gonna hear about what?” Cristina asks and they all swing around. Izzie tries to casually cover up the bulletin board, but it’s obvious she’s hiding something. Cristina tells her to move and goes over to see what it is.
She stares at the bulletin board a moment, then says, “Good for him,” before walking off.
They all turn around to stare at the newspaper clipping of Burke. The headline reads “Area Surgeon Takes Prestigious Award.”
Izzie can’t get over that they actually know someone who’s won the Harper-Avery award.
~*~*~
Alex asks Izzie to ask Meredith if she’d be okay with Rebecca moving in for a while. What? Izzie reminds him that she’s married…and what about her kid? Alex reminds her that Rebecca’s pregnant. She’s leaving her husband and they’re going to get their own place, but they have to work out everything first.
Alex rushes out. Izzie is torn…
~*~*~
Dr. Hahn asks who would like to present and everyone but Cristina raises their hand. Alex gets it. He reads the file about the heart transplant. Hahn keeps asking questions, and everyone except Cristina keeps raising their hand. Finally, Erica asks, “Yang, am I boring you? Because if you’d rather spend the day in the morgue, I have about 50 cadaver hearts that need to be harvested.”
Hahn starts back in on their patient assessment, but Cristina raises her hand. “I would love to go to the morgue. Thank you.”
She leaves.
Hahn takes the rest of the group to go meet the “mom in the plastic bubble” who is currently on the verge of an emotional melt down. “Get me out of here!” she cries, pounding on her plastic surroundings.
His husband tries to calm her down, but she just cries, “It’s been eight weeks without touching another human being!”
Dr. Hahn reaches her hand through the gloved opening. “Take my hand.” The patient doesn’t want to, but finally grabs her oxygen mask and takes Hahn’s hand. She’s upset that they told her she was going to be able to leave but—Hahn interrupts that that’s what she’s there to tell her. “We have a heart for you.”
The woman stops crying in happy shock. Really? Yes.
~*~*~
The Chief pages Dr. Sloan to tell him that “as of this morning, the nurses are boycotting your surgeries.”
Sloan argues that he hasn’t done anything to the nurses…at least nothing to get them sued anyway. Well, either way, the nurses has hired a union rep. They walk in to find that the rep is, in fact, The Chief’s wife. The Chief is as surprised as Sloan to see her there.
She tells them that she’s “more than just a housewife” and as of today they’re instituting a “date and tell” policy. If any hospital employee is hooking up with another, they need to register it. Sloan stares at the clipboard. “Is this some kind of joke?”
Do they want to wait until they have $20 million dollar lawsuit? Sloan looks to The Chief for help, but he tells him to fill out the form. He’s not happy about it either but—whoa, wait. He has to fill one out too?
The Chief stares at his wife and the form in her hand. He is not happy.
~*~*~
Down in the morgue, Lexie asks if Cristina is okay since she passed up a really awesome case. She asks if it’s about Dr. Burke, but Cristina just silences her with a look. She turns back to the body on the table and starts singing. “I made it through the wilderness, you know I made it through…”
Lexie doesn’t quite know what to do. “Should I—”
Cristina just sings louder. “You made me feel shiny and new. Like a virgin—”
“Hey!” Lexie starts to sing with her and Cristina stops. She turns to stare at her and Lexie stops. “Uh…I’ll just go upstairs and go, carting—” She leaves.
Cristina goes back to work, singing.
~*~*~
The Chief and his wife argue in the hallway about how they’ve both changed. He tells her that he’s “got himself an intern. The Chief’s Intern.” Right.
Later on, The Chief catches George in the hall to tell him he’s been watching him. A guy like him needs a change, a challenge. How does he feel about being his intern? “George O’Malley, Intern to the Chief.”
“George O’Malley, Intern to The Chief?” George repeats, slightly in awe. “Is that even a real thing?”
~*~*~
Derek and Meredith are looking over the MRI scans of the brain. He thinks they need to get aggressive with the virus. He talks about the procedure, she gets distracted by his mouth, but tries her best to pay attention.
Derek steps over to the practice brain to show her how “needle number one will go into the tumor here. Needle number to goes in here.” In order to do this right, they’re going to need to inject the virus in at the same time. “You’re needle number two.” Don’t worry, they’re going to practice.
Derek shuts off the light and the brain lights up. “Now remember, we both have to be completely in sync. Let me know when you’re ready.”
As Derek reaches behind to grab something, Meredith whispers to herself, “He’s with Rose, he’s with Rose…”
~*~*~
“Do you like princesses?” a little girl in her own princess outfit asks Alex.
“Yeah sure,” he tells her. When the little girl asks her if he’s going to fix her mommy’s heart, he tells her that it’s “Like in Snow White, where she eats the poison apple and she dies for a while. But she’s not really dead.”
Oh no. The mom looks from him to her daughters.
“My mom’s gonna be DEAD?” the other little girl asks.
“Snow White dies?!”
Both girls rush to their dad, crying.
“When they’re little, you skip over the scary parts,” the mom tells Alex.
Oh. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have kids. How would you know?”
This hits Alex harder than the woman could have known it would.
~*~*~
Izzie tracks down Dr. Bailey to ask her if she can’t get rid of her patient, is it okay to give her results to her patient’s really good friend?
“No!” Bailey replies in a ‘Are you crazy? You know this’ kind of way.
Well, yeah, but what if “her friend is a really good friend of mine and he’s changing his whole life for her because he thinks she’s pregnant and she’s NOT?”
Bailey tells her that if she wants to win herself a Harper-Avery award, she’s going to need to learn to “master the basics of privacy.”
~*~*~
“The Chief needs to know who’ve you slept with by the end of the day, be thorough,” George is telling everyone. Izzie argues that that’s no one’s business, but George simply answers, “It’s The Chief’s business, so it’s my business.” He clicks his pen. “I’m The Chief’s intern.”
When Bailey asks to see what he’s handing out, George pulls his clipboard back, telling her, “The Chief says you are the only person in the whole hospital who is exempt. Congratulations.”
Uh-huh. Bailey walks off.
Rose awkwardly asks what level of intimacy do they need to know for this thing? George stammers around a bit, then tells her just the uh, “highest level”. Okay then. In that case, Rose won’t be needing one of the forms.
George takes the form back, not really sure what he’s supposed to do now, and as he walks off, Izzie mutters, “Freak.”
“I am not a fr—I am the The Chief’s Intern,” George defends himself.
As he starts to walk off, Izzie calls after him, “Mmmhmm, that’s not a real job.”
Okay, he just needs her form by the end of the day.
~*~*~
Hahn complains to Callie about Burke winning the award instead of her just because he’s a guy, and asks Callie if she wants to meet her for drinks tonight to trash talk him. Callie laughs, then tells her she doesn’t really think she can tonight because um…
Sloan shows up, asking Callie if she’ll talk to the nurses, tell them to call off the boycott because he’s a good guy. Hahn informs him that they don’t think he’s a good guy, but Sloan slaps Callie playful from behind. “Dr. Torres thinks I’m a good guy.” He leans in. “Don’t you Callie?”
“Um…” Hahn gets it and walks off.
~*~*~
Meredith is talking to her patient and his friend, who’s determined to stay with his buddy whether he likes it or not.
“Why did you come?”
“How could I not?” his friend asks. The patient glances hesitantly at Meredith and she gets up.
“Why are you so paranoid?”
The guys kiss.
Suddenly the door opens and Meredith tries to warn them. “Mr. Covington!”
They break apart and the father stares at them in disgust. “Don’t make me throw you out.”
The boys platoon leader shows up. “What’s wrong?”
~*~*~
Sloan approaches Rose, who immediately tells him “No.” She’s not talking to the nurses for him.
“I hate women like you,” Sloan tells her. “You string guys along acting like sex is some prize, but really you’re just afraid that once you give it up he’ll lose interest.”
Rose closes the elevator doors on him.
~*~*~
Meredith’s patient tells him that his father’s a good guy, but he’s a soldier. He thinks Todd should just leave, get him out of his mind. He knows the drill, you leave your personal life at home…He just never thought he would meet his personal life at work.
Meredith tells him she can still go get Todd, but he tells her he can’t. “I know what you’re thinking. Brave soldier who can’t even stand up to his father.”
“I was thinking this is hard.”
“The gay part or the tumor part?”
“The whole part.”
~*~*~
George is back. “I need your form.”
Alex grumbles about the “sex police” and Meredith thinks forms are stupid. Either way, he still needs them by the end of the day.
Rose walks up and discreetly tells George that she thinks she’ll take one of those forms after all.
“What? Why?” George asks loudly, then, “Oh.” He tries to sneak her one, but everyone sees it.
Lexie turns to apologize to Meredith, but she tells her that “Derek is with Roes and I’m okay that Derek is with Rose.”
George pages Cristina, but Lexie warns that they don’t want to see Cristina right now. Why is she crying? Staring straight ahead being super quiet? No, she’s singing. Meredith’s eyes widen and she jumps from the table.
This is bad!
“I still need your form!” George calls. Alex hands over his and George looks at it. “This isn’t complete.”
What’s he talking about? George rolls his eyes towards Lexie and Lexie’s eyes widen. “Oh right, sorry,” Alex says calmly, taking it back and getting out his pen.
Alex leaves and Lexie is furious. “He FORGOT he had sex with me?!”
~*~*~
Meredith orders Cristina to stop singing. She just sings louder until Meredith shouts, “I’m in therapy!” Cristina stops singing. “Thank you. That makes me feel a little better.”
“You’re welcome.”
~*~*~
Bailey asks The Chief why she’s exempt and he tells her that “I don’t even want to see you holding the form.” Bailey stalks off.
The Chief’s wife stares at him.
“What?”
~*~*~
Because Alex has a temperature Hahn won’t let him enter the surgery. He asks her to page Yang instead. He’s on babysitting duty the rest of the day.
~*~*~
Meredith tells his patient that they could take a moment before the surgery. He glances between his father talking to Derek and Todd sitting in the hallway. Todd stands up.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Let’s just go.”
~*~*~
Dr. Hahn tells Cristina that the donor heart is on its way. They stand outside waiting in their scrubs, and she continues, “I can’t imagine how you must feel about Dr. Burke’s award. You actually helped him with his research and he didn’t even mention you in that article.”
Cristina remains silent, and Hahn goes on to tell him that she’s not surprised. His arrogance is quite well known. Cristina still doesn’t say anything. Hahn thought they finally had some common ground, but “good for you, refusing to trash him. Rising above, that’s very impressive. I’m going to follow your example Yang. Congratulations Preston,” she tells the open air. “I wish you well.”
~*~*~
“Okay remember what I said. We have to be in total sync for the virus to have maximum infiltration,” Derek tells Meredith as they get ready with their surgery. Ready? Ready.
They both start to inject their needles.
They start to get off track and Derek warns, “Slow down, don’t look at the monitor, look at me.” When she stares at him, they get back in sync. “The virus is in.”
Everyone claps and Derek looks at Meredith. “We’re standing on the moon Dr. Grey.”
~*~*~
Dr. Bailey hands over a sheet of paper to The Chief. “I just wanted to drop off the form myself.”
The Chief and his wife look up at her as The Chief glances at the paper and says, “There are interns listed on this form.”
“I require the energy of youth,” Bailey simply replies, and The Chief’s wife shares in moment by staring at her husband: see? “Dr. Shepherd was just a moment of weakness for both of us.”
“Dr. Sloan?” The Chief interrupts, his eyes widening at the sheet.
“Oh that was many moments, in On Call Rooms, hot.”
“Mmmm, steamy,” Adele adds.
Okay, alright all ready, The Chief gets the joke. Bailey is furious! That’s just the point. She’s a single woman in this hospital, and here he singles ONLY her out as the one person who couldn’t attract the opposite sex? That’s just, just—Bailey struggles for a word for it and Adele offers, “Harassment.”
“Adele—”
“Shame on you, Sir!” Bailey yells, hitting him in the shoulder.
“Ow!” The Chief stares after her as she leaves, close to tears. He has no idea what just happened.
~*~*~
Izzie confronts Alex about wearing himself out, and he argues that she can’t even pass a baby on the street without stopping. ‘The only freakin’ baby in the world you’re not happy about is mine.”
“It’s not that I’m not happy for you, it’s just—” Izzie stops. Should she do it? Should she tell him?
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Yeah that’s what I thought.” Alex walks off.
~*~*~
Callie and Hahn scrub in and Hahn asks, “So are we on for tonight or what?”
Callie tells her she already told her that she had a thing. Hahn finally confesses that she doesn’t make friends easily, is awkward about it, bad at small talk, and generally doesn’t like people she doesn’t know, but she made friends with Callie and now she has this “Thing”, which just so happens to be Sloan.
Callie looks at her. “Are you mad that I’m sleeping with Mark Sloan?”
No, she mad that she didn’t tell her she was sleeping with Sloan, or that she’s one of those “girls who gets all poufy when she gets a boyfriend”. Instead, she just goes off with her “thing”. Callie is surprised and watches Hahn leave. Hahn stops at the door to again tell her, “I don’t make friends easily.”
~*~*~
Meredith is excited about their “super sync”-ness in this surgery, and Derek tells her that he can stay here tonight. They start to grin almost like old times, and suddenly Rose appears. She was just heading home and wondering if he was coming, or…?
Derek tells her that he needs to stay and Rose understands. She starts to leave, but Meredith calls her back. She assures Derek that she can page him if anything bad happens. Is she sure?
Derek: I’ll stay. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay.
Meredith:…No, you should go be with Rose.
He stares at her a second, then heads off.
~*~*~
Callie knocks on Sloan’s door. “Sex. Let’s go.”
Sloan continues to sulk at his desk. Callie’s back. Is he coming or what? No, he’s just “not in the mood.”
Callie is shocked. “What! You’re always in the mood.”
“I know,” he answers sadly, “But I’m just…my surgeries got cancelled today.”
“You’re useless.” Callie walks off leaving poor Sloan to wonder if she’s right.
~*~*~
Meanwhile, the woman who received the new heart transplant is seizing. “I think something’s wrong!” her husband calls out and Alex rushes over. “Page Dr. Hahn.”
“She’s not moving!”
Alex hesitates only a moment, then breaks the isolation barrier, stepping up to the patient’s bed. The woman’s two little girls watch fearfully nearby.
Alex tries to tell Mr. Marshall to get his kids out, but he can’t. Alex finally tells them, “Okay, Zoe, Jessie, this is the scary part, turn around.” He assures them he knows what he’s doing. He gets to work and Mrs. Marshall wakes up. Okay, they can turn around now. Mommy’s fine.
~*~*~
George tosses the files over to The Chief, who tells his wife, “See, I’m delegating.” She’s impressed. She really has seen some progress today.
“Thank you.”
George looks at them, starts to leave, then stops. “Dr. Webber, can I have a word with you?”
Adele leaves and George confronts him. “I give up major surgeries today and all my friends think I’m a brownnosing perv, but it was worth it because I thought you SAW me. All due respect sir, you’re just using me to get back with your wife.”
He doesn’t know if it’s possible to quit “a thing that isn’t really a thing”, but he does quit. The Chief stops him, telling him that he does see him. The Chief’s intern wasn’t a real job, but he’d like to make it one.
~*~*~
Bailey walks by and notices Dr. Sloan sitting alone in the hallway, deep in thought…
Meredith’s patient starts to code…”Clear!”
Bailey walks by again…Sloan’s still sitting there…
Meredith sits with her patient’s father. Todd appears and tells him that he was trained not to leave a man when he’s down. All he wants to know is how his friend is doing. Meredith finally interrupts him, “Todd…”
Todd finally looks at them, sees their faces, and realizes what’s going on.
~*~*~
Hahn tells her patient that “Dr. Karev saved your life, but the chance that you were exposed to infection is too great.”
“Can she get another heart?”
“You’ll be at the top of the list.”
“But I’m going to have to stay in isolation, right?”
Alex watches the family go right back to where they were before this all happened.
~*~*~
Bailey comes to a stop in front of Sloan. He looks up sadly. She slaps him in the head.
~*~*~
“Spinal tap showed encephalitis,” Derek says, appearing behind Meredith. There’s no way they could have predicted that.
He sits down next to her. “On my way over I bought this.” He shows her the bottle of wine. They’re going to save it until they succeed, and then they’re going to use it to drink to “all the other patients who helped us change the face of medicine.” They’re going to use that as their victory dance. “Meredith, we will,” he assures. “We’re going to open this bottle of champagne.”
She smiles tearfully at him.
~*~*~
Cristina stands in front of The Chief and his wife and The Chief says he noticed that she didn’t turn in her form.
“No, Sir.”
“Well I need you too. The hospital is still liable even though Dr. Burke isn’t here.”
Cristina takes the form and stares at it. She fills it out. There. Satisfied?
He knows this is difficult on her. Cristina argues that no, he doesn’t know. Burke is out there changing the world and she’s still here in the same hospital, doing the same thing, even living in the same apartment. She’s right where she chooses to be. “But Sir,” she says. “When his hand was shaking, I performed his surgeries. I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride. You know it, and I know it, and he knows it. HE knows it. And yet, nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear…I am the unseen hand to his brilliance.” She turns away. “Excuse me.”
She gets herself back under control. “And yet although everything is the same, it’s very very different. Now I’m lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Hahn, treats me like…I was his hand. And now I’m a ghost. That’s not difficult. It’s unbeatable. I know everybody’s proud of him, but I’m not. And I do not wish him well.”
She leaves.
~*~*~
Bailey stands before the nurses. “This boycott has gone on long enough.” She knows she doesn’t have any authority here, but she’d like to give them her thoughts on Sloan.
Sloan leans over. “You’re doin’ great.”
“This man,” Bailey begins. “Is a whore.”
Sloan’s grin disappears to confusion as the nurses all nod.
“Has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore, but that’s not a secret,” Bailey tells them. They all knew that before they dated him, and now they’re all “woe is me, he didn’t call me back?”
“He’s nasty,” Bailey says. “But he’s a doctor here, and a pretty good one. So let us all close our knees,” she says loudly to all the nurses, who start to look at the floor uncomfortably, “And get back to our jobs so he can get back to his job and help the people who really need it!” She turns to smile at him, then tell the nurses, “Disperse!”
They all leave. Poor Sloan. (Haha, only Bailey could do that.”)
~*~*~
Izzie tries to tell Alex she heard he did great as they watch the woman get to hold her scrubbed up kids. Alex rushes off, yelling that “You think I’m scum, you think I can’t do this but It’s my kid. MY kid, and what you think doesn’t matter!”
~*~*~
Meredith’s patient’s father says he wants him to have a military burial. He exits and nods at Todd. Todd enters to kiss his dead friend. Meredith watches.
“It was a good day…”
The Chief and his wife are getting into the elevator.
“Heading home.”
“Maybe you have changed.”
He looks at her a moment. “That’s a nice blouse.”
Meredith (VO): Maybe even a great day.
Bailey sits on a bench outside the hospital, catching Izzie on her way out. Did she get in touch with her patient? No. Did she tell her friend? No. “You’re growing Stevens.”
“I wish it would stop.”
Bailey tells her that right now “my husband is out on a date…a date. She gets up to push Tuck’s stroller home. Izzie watches her go.
Meredith (VO): I was a good doctor. Even when it was hard. I was the me in my head.
George joins Lexie at the bar and she tells him that she just left three messages with her ex-boyfriends to find out how forgettable she is. “I’m sure they’ll call me back.” So she made a mistake, George informs her that no one’s made more mistakes than him. Let him be an example. “I am the man at the right hand of The Man.”
Callie admits that she’s been avoiding Callie because of what Addison said when she was here. When she tells her, Hahn just laughs and Callie can’t help but laugh too.
Meredith (VO): There was a moment when I thought, ‘I can’t do this.”
Adele looks over at her husband in bed. “Well I’m glad some things haven’t changed.”
They laugh.
Meredith (VO): I can’t do this alone…
Derek and Sloan enter the elevator. He tells her that a “the most refined, professional, lady-like doctor finally came to my defense tonight. The best she could come up with was ‘he’s a whore’.” He looks at Derek. “I’m a whore.”
“I slept with her. And the whole time I was thinking about Meredith,” Derek admits. “Who’s the bigger whore?”
Meredith (VO): But I closed my eyes and imagined myself doing it. And I did. I blocked out the fear and I did it.
Cristina sleeps alone.
~*~*~
Meredith sits in her therapists office, telling her she thought it was a really good day. Her therapist tells her that she’s just going to get right down to it (since Meredith’s insurance only covers 20 sessions and all). Basically? “That was a load of crap.”
Meredith is confused. Her therapist tells her that her “tragic patient dies alone while the love of his life is literally IN THE NEXT ROOM! That’s you!”
Meredith thinks “THAT is a load of crap.”
“He’s with Rose,” his therapist keeps telling her and Meredith can’t understand why she keeps telling her that?
Because if he’s with Rose, then that means he’s not with her. Does she know why? “You’re scared.”
“Are you calling me a coward?”
“What do you think?”
Meredith leaves, the door closing behind her.
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(PS-I know I'm way behind, but don't worry! I'll eventually catch up.
And I just can't seem to get myself to post about new episodes knowing there are a few older ones I haven't recapped yet...
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