Glee: Comeback
February 16th 2011 06:03
While Will is teaching his Spanish class “regresar”, and having a sudden inspiration for a Comeback for Glee, Emma sudden bursts in, telling him there’s an emergency. Will rushes out with her to Sue’s office, where Emma explains that Becky found something very disturbing in Sue’s journal. A “Sue-icide” note. They hurry over to Sue’s, finding the front door unlocked and no sign of Sue’s maid. The bedroom door is locked, however, and Will breaks it down to find Sue unconscious on her bed surrounded by empty gummy bear vitamin bottles. “Sue!” They rush over to check her pulse, and suddenly Sue opens her eyes, telling her that she learned how to stop her own heart and that those gummy bear vitamins didn’t work at all! Depressed, she blurts out that she has nothing to live for, and angry that she would try and con them into her pity party, Will and Emma leave.
In Emma’s office later, Sue joins her and Will, not apologizing for interrupting, and carrying a noose around with her. She’s going to hang herself. Grabbing the noose, Will tries to remind her that life is beautiful, and that there must be something since her epic failure that’s made her happy. Well, there was one thing…belting out to a song on the radio while driving in her le car. Great! Emma snaps on some rubber gloves, throws away the noose and suggests that Sue join the Glee Club. Will’s eyes widen in horror and Sue flat out says she’d rather be dead. After a little more convincing though, Emma finally talks them both into it.
In the choir room, the kids are horrified. Sue’s been nothing but awful to them, always trying to destroy them! Sue tells them that she’s not there to destroy them this time, she’s just hoping maybe some singing will pull her out of her deep dark depression. They’re still suspicious, but Will changes the subject. This year for Regionals they’re up against Aural Intensity again, and the judges have given everybody a theme: Anthems.
Sam, seeing this as a perfect opportunity to try and win back Quinn (who told him she caught mono saving Finn’s life—he was choking on a gumball), and sings Justin Bieber’s “Baby”. The girls love it and the guy’s take notice. Later on while Sam’s combing his hair out Bieber-style, they tell him they want in. Everybody but Finn, of course, who’s not a fan and will be spending his time trying to find songs that aren’t meant for 12-year-old girls. Sam wonders why the boys, who made fun of him before, suddenly want in, and they tell him that the girls are in a post-Valentine’s day slump, and they need all the help they can get. Fine. They’re in. But they’re going to need to do something with Puck’s hair. (Cue dark-Puck-Beiber-wig and another performance, complete with slow-motion chalk blowing and lots of stage dancing.)
Quinn, charmed by Sam’s performance and turned on by the way he’s totally owning his (previously) one-man-band, chooses Sam’s date over Finn’s Friday. Santana, however, corners Sam and points out that he really can’t be so dumb as to truly believe the gumball story, and when Sam realizes this is true, he dumps Quinn. He’s now dating Santana, who, like Britney, is now dressing like Rachel, who paid Britney to dress like her so she could have a comeback. This backfires on Rachel though, and Britney gets awesome recognition for being such a cool trendsetter. Poor Rachel can’t win as is out her allowance money, which she paid Britney to dress like her.
In an effort to win back Quinn, Finn embraces the Bieber look, and comes to class in a zipped up hoodie and combed-over hair. Quinn just gives him a funny look. Puck is still trying to get Lauren to go out with him, and she may have an idea. She wants to sing a solo this week, and he helps her by telling her to picture everyone in their underwear. It’s about feeling confident. Doing this, Lauren breaks out into “I Know What Boys Want” and nails her first solo.
After class, Will asks Sue into his office, where he tells her he wants to take her somewhere. Sue glares at him, insisting she’d never date a “curly”, but Will just shakes it off with a smile and tells her it’s not a date. He takes her to the hospital, where Sue tries to back out when she finds out they’re going to the cancer wing. She gets what he’s trying to do—show her that there are people much worse-off then her. Okay then, lesson learned. Will stops her before she can run off, and tells her that he goes to sing with the cancer ward kids every once in a while, and that she should go with him, because he really thinks it’ll make her feel better. “Let’s go sing with some kids.” Reluctantly Sue agrees, and with Will and his ukulele, they sing “This Little Light of Mine” with the kids. Sue can’t help but be touched, and tells Will she’ll never forgive him for this. Will grins. He’s totally fine with that.
Writing in her journal, Sue reveals that she never meant to kill herself, it was all an evil plan to get behind enemy lines. She’s planning on taking the Glee Club down from the inside, and to start off, she pits Mercedes and Rachel against each other in a Diva-off, after telling each of them that the other said she had no talent. The singing starts off Mercedes vs. Rachel, and ends up Mercedes AND Rachel, and they’re both grinning and praising the other. Sue is not happy. “Where’s the hate?” Will reminds her that that’s not how Glee Club goes.
Thwarted again, Sue stews for a while, then finally goes to Will and tells him that she doesn’t think any of his kids are very good listeners. Their assignment was anthems, but none of them did anthems. Will is surprised. Sue wants to do an anthem number? Yes, but she’s not doing it alone. Everyone is going to do it with her, and no Bieber hoodies or hair! Will tells her that they can probably do that, and Sue performs “Sing” by My Chemical Romance.
By the end of the week, Sue’s back to herself and her week in Glee is up, but Will admits that maybe she was a good influence. Their My Chemical Romance performance was pretty good. Rachel agrees that it was good, but she things that in order to win at Regionals, they’re going to need to be even better. She proposes an idea: They write their own music. They put it to a vote, and everyone votes against her. Finn catches her in the hallway afterward though, and tells her that he thinks it was a good idea. She should do it. He wants to write with her? No, he thinks she should do it by herself, because he believes in her. That Rachel in their reminded him of the old Rachel. He thinks she’s making a comeback. As Finn walks out, Rachel smiles.
Sue walks in as Will is gathering his sheet music on the piano, and tells him that she’s been touched by music. Will is very happy for her, and tells her that she’s welcome back anytime. Sue tells him that that’s probably not a good idea, as she’s now helping coach Aural Intensity. Will is shocked. How is that even possible? “See ya at Regionals,” Sue says, scattering his sheet music and sauntering out. Yep, Sue’s back all right.
Will: (VO) I realized the old Will Shuester was back. Glee’s goin’ to Regionals, we got all of Sue’s Cheerio’s money, I’m past Terry, I’m over Emma. (to his class) Come back now—
Emma: (running in) Will! It’s an emergency!
~*~*~
Will: (reading Sue’s journal) “Goodbye cruel world”?
Emma: She could be dead by now.
Sue’s Journal: “Yes losers, I’m committing Sue-icide.”
~*~*~
Will: Sue? Sue! (He breaks down the door, they rush over) Sue! Sue, wake up Sue, Sue wake up!
Emma: Pulse, pulse, she doesn’t have a pulse—
Sue: (suddenly sitting up) Yeah I do. I just stopped my heart—that’s my CIA training. These gummy vitamins didn’t work at all! I was told you take enough Vitamin A you drift off into a blissful oblivion. Instead my face just got really hot and my jaw is sore from chewing.
~*~*~
Emma: Why don’t you do what the rest of the cheer squads do? Namely, cheer for the teams at their school?
Sue: Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.
~*~*~
Will: Sue, you are nasty, manipulative, and petty.
Sue: Will, you have more grease in your hair than the guy from wikileaks.
~*~*~
Sam: It’s paintin’ coasters time!
~*~*~
Quinn: I didn’t kiss Finn Sam, I saved his life.
~*~*~
Sam: My dad always said there are two ways to get a woman to love you: take her hunting, and rock n’ roll.
~*~*~
Sam: Hey. I’m The Justin Bieber experience.
~*~*~
Rachel: Why are my legwarmers on your arms?
Brittany: I got cold.
~*~*~
Brittany: I wore a tank top today because I thought it was summer. No one every taught me how to read a calendar.
~*~*~
Sue: Get used to this abuse Glee kids!
~*~*~
Sue: Would you mind if I borrowed one of your rafters to hang myself?
~*~*~
Emma: Sue should join the Glee Club.
Will: I’m sorry?
Sue: Noo, I’d rather be dead.
~*~*~
Will: Emma, I don’t think this is a good idea at all.
Sue: I agree with Spongehair SquareChin.
~*~*~
Will: We know we’re facing Kurt and the Warblers at Regionals—
Sue: Sweet Porcelain.
Will: --and it looks like this year we face Aural Intensity again.
~*~*~
Will: Now, who can tell us what an anthem is?
Brittany: The bottom of an ant’s pants.
Will: So close, so close.
~*~*~
Puck: (to Sam) Dude, that haircut makes your mouth look even bigger.
Sue: Let her speak.
~*~*~
Sue: (about Sam) I gotta get that girl on my Cheerios.
~*~*~
Rachel: (spotting the new legwarmers fad) Oh no.
~*~*~
Rachel: I want my allowance back right now!
Brittany: It’s already gone. My uncle lost his job and his goat was going hungry, so I spent it on food for the goat. Well, sort of, the goat just ate the money.
~*~*~
Rachel: You better get a move on, okay? Kids R Us closes at 6 PM sharp. Go Brittany!
~*~*~
Brittany: Most teachers think that by cutting class I might improve my grades.
~*~*~
Will: Hey, where’s the hate?
Sue: Not the point of Glee Club, Sue.
~*~*~
Will: What are you doin’ tomorrow night? I want to take you somewhere.
Sue: Noo, no, no way. I don’t care how depressed I am, I will not a curly.
Will: Not a date, Sue.
Sue: Still probably not gonna go.
~*~*~
Sue: Hate ‘em. Hate hospitals William, that’s why I keep voting for those death panels.
Will: Sue, I know you. You crack jokes whenever you get uncomfortable.
Sue: Not really joking, William. And you have a pension for sappy scenarios set to music, so I demand to know where we’re going.
Will: We’re going to see the pediatric cancer ward. (off her face) No, no, no, once a month I come down here and I sing songs with some of the kids getting long-term care.
Sue: Yep, no.
Will: Sue.
~*~*~
Sue: I’ve learned my lesson.
Will: Great, then let’s celebrate! Let’s sing with some kids. Look, you’re right. You know, sometimes Glee Club is a little silly, but we push through the weird to get to the real stuff. I mean, music can get at a part of us that’s hard to open up to. But please, go there with me. I think it’ll be good for you, Sue. No outfits, no jazz hands, just music.
Sue: Fine. And William? I don’t care how adorable those kids are, if I hear one song from that classic rock outfit Journey, I will start pulling catheters.
~*~*~
Sue: (surrounded by adorable cancer kids) I will never forgive you for this.
Will: Deal.
~*~*~
Sue: Will, you have a problem.
Will: You?
Sue: No. You’re Glee kids. They have no comprehension skills.
~*~*~
Sue: I’ll admit that your little fieldtrip to the house of sad inspired me.
~*~*~
Rachel: We-we need to be full and epic. We need to write our own music for Regionals.
~*~*~
Sue: Oh Will, Charles Manson would have been a fun addition to your pack of losers.
~*~*~
Sue: No one told you? I got a part-time gig. Yeah, I’m the new coach for Aural Intensity.
~*~*~
Sue: See ya at Regionals!
"Baby" - Justin Bieber feat. Ludacris - Sam
"Somebody to Love" - Justin Bieber - Sam, Puck, Artie, Mike
"I Know What Boys Like" - The Waitresses - Lauren Zizes
"Take Me or Leave Me" - Rent - Rachel and Mercedes
"Sing" My Chemical Romance Sue and New Directions
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