Chuck vs. The Cougars
October 22nd 2008 23:41
And Sarah’s real name is…
~*~*~
San Diego, California. 1998.
Young Sarah drives home to find her father being taken away by ATF agents. She runs through the woods and dig up a box, opening it to find a note from her dad. “In case of emergency. I love you, Daddy.”
Present Day
When Sarah runs into an old high school classmate at the Buy More (in the form of guest star Nicole Richie), she quickly tries to escape. Unfortunately the girl, Heather, follows her to The Orange Orange, where she insists she’s seen Sarah before, she tries to place her and finally comes up with it. “We went to high school together!” She searches her memory for Sarah’s name, and finally comes up with it. “Jenny Burton!”
Chuck stares at the surveillance video he’s been watching. “Jenny Burton?” Unable to stop himself from taking advantage of this sneak peek into Sarah’s real life, Chuck heads out to talk to them. He meets Heather and her husband, Mark (guest star Ben Savage) and talks them into dinner that night with him and “Jenny”. Sarah tries to get out of it, but it’s no use, especially when Chuck flashes on Mark. General Beckman orders them to go to dinner and Sarah argues that her cover has been compromised. The General, on the other hand, thinks that her past history with these people will make it all that more easy for them to infiltrate them and find out what Mark’s up to.
~*~*~
~*~*~
At dinner that night, Heather asks Sarah how her father, hinting that he’s in jail. Sarah quickly changes the subject, and Mark excuses himself.
In the bathroom, Mark is approached by two men from the Russian mob. He will hand over the plans they want, but he needs to make sure that his wife won’t be hurt.
Back at the table, Chuck’s trying to get as much info out of Heather about “Jenny” as he can. Casey hovers curiously nearby, posing as a waiter. Sarah asks for a refill on her wine and dumps it on Chuck’s lap to shut him up. Chuck goes to the bathroom to clean up and accidentally runs into Mark and the Russian Mob guys. He flashes on them and quickly tells them he’ll just go look for some club soda to deal with his stain. Mark gets tossed into a bathroom stall as the bad guys turn on Chuck.
Heather is back to asking Sarah about her father and Sarah quickly jumps up and asks Casey if she can take over carving their dinner. She hisses at him to go check on Chuck, and Casey tells her to try not and fillet Heather while he’s gone. Sarah’s not promising anything.
Casey walks into the bathroom just in time to save Chuck. He takes out the mob guys and tells Chuck he’ll be right back to haul them out, he just has to bring the car around. After Casey leaves, Mark makes it out of the stall. He spots Chuck and the two unconscious Russian mobsters and is in awe. He thanks him. Who does he work for? What’s his real agent name?
Chuck hesitates, then finally answers, “Carmichael. Special Agent Charles Carmichael.” Mark is amazed that Carmichael could take out those guys on his own.
~*~*~
Back at the secret CIA HQ under The Orange Orange, Casey tells Mark that if he wants into witness protection “you’ve got to scratch our back too.” What? They’re going to cover his drop, but they need info. Mark recognizes Casey as their waiter and tells him that he’ll only cooperate with Agent Carmichael as he was the one who saved his life.
Chuck’s eyes widen and Casey turns around. “Is that right, SPECIAL Agent Carmichael?”
Chuck laughs nervously. “Uh…It’s funny, you should really see me scale buildings with the suction cups, because I’m *makes the suction cup noise* very good at that. I only dabble in violence, so—” Chuck quickly takes a drink to keep from having to talk any further.
“Modesty doesn’t suit you,” Casey tells him pointedly, emphasizing, “Mad Dog.”
“Mad Dog?” Mark asks, suddenly nervous. “W-why do they call him that?”
Casey winks at Chuck. Chuck winks back and Casey nods. Chuck crushes his cup in his hand and Casey plays it up. He tells Mark that he really doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of Mad Dog’s maniacal temper. He pulls up his sleeve and shows Mark a scar, telling him that he got it because he parked in Mad Dog’s spot. Just once! “This scar reminds me every day: Don’t mess with Mad Dog.” So he’s going to ask him one more time. “Where’s the meeting?”
Mark says he doesn’t know, and Casey sighs. “He’s all yours Mad Dog.”
“Wait! Wait!” Mark’s phone starts to ring. His contact is texting him right now. He wants to meet tonight, but that’s not good for Mark, as tonight is his high school reunion and his wife would kill him if they missed it because she wants to be reunion queen.
When Mark gets nervous, Chuck assures him that no one will mess with him. Mad Dog’s got his back. Okay fine, they’re all going to the reunion.
~*~*~
“No! No that CAN’T be right!” Lester is going over the day’s receipts and is about ready to have a heart attack. “No no no! NO!”
Chuck shows up and Morgan is surprised to see him on his day off. Chuck walks into the office to see what’s going on. Lester tells him that no matter how he adds it up they’re off by $2700. Chuck looks at it. Actually he forgot to carry the one, so it’s really $3700. Ahhhh!
Okay, nobody panic, Morgan takes over. They need a plan to make some cash. Jeff offers an idea. “My mom knows a dude who’ll torch the place.” Okay, no, anybody else? Chuck jokingly suggests what they used to do in high school when they were hard up for cash. Invite everybody over when the parents were out of town and charge by the head. Morgan looks at him. Brilliant! What? No, he was just kidding. Too late, the plan is on. Party at the Buy More!
~*~*~
Sarah takes out her frustration of remembering her not so pleasant high school days on her punching bag. She remembers a jock who used to stuff Mark in the lockers and tease her about her dad being locked up. “Call me if you ever need a man around the house.”
Back in the present, Chuck brings Sarah a gift. She opens it. “What do I need a new dress for?” Uh…they’re going to have to go to her reunion. She tells him that high school was a tough time for her, more so than normal, and Chuck assures her that “it’ll be okay, trust me. Besides, everybody remembers high school way worse than it actually was.”
~*~*~
*Cue Backstreet Boys!*
Chuck and Sarah show up at the Class of 1998 reunion. She accepts her name tag unenthusiastically from the way too peppy girl working the table, and heads inside where oversized pictures form the year book decorate the room.
Chuck stops her. “Hey, no one’s gonna mess with you Sarah, okay? I got your back.”
Unfortunately they’ve stopped just in front of Sarah’s high school picture. Chuck’s eyes widen. “Whoa—ow!”
Sarah turns around and sees it and Chuck quickly tells her, “It’s not that bad. Not that bad.” He continues to stare at it. Wow.
~*~*~
Chuck nods to Mark as they continue through the room and Heather waves to Sarah before leaning over to whisper to some other girls. Sarah is so not happy to be here. It’s like high school all over again. Trying to get her mind off of it, Chuck asks her if she’d like to dance Thankfully it’s the nineties again. He does some dance moves and is interrupted by the same Jock from Sarah’s flashback. He has taken it upon himself to “introduce myself to the woman I’ll be waking up with tomorrow.” Chuck quickly introduces himself as “Jenny’s boyfriend,” and Dick is shocked. Jenny Burton?
“Ten years have been very sweet to you,” Dick tells her. Sarah forces out a polite thank-you and Chuck watches them both as Dick adds, “Ten years is a long time. Especially to someone living in an 8x10 cell.” Sarah narrows her eyes at him and he asks, “So, how is your dad?”
Dick reaches for his beer and Chuck suddenly flashes on his tattoo. “Nachos! Nachos, I smell nachos, bye Dick!” He rushes Sarah away and tells her he just flashed on Dick. He thinks he’s the guy Mark is supposed to meet up with.
Okay, Chuck go tell Mark, Sarah will tip off the DJ. Chuck is confused, “Why the DJ?” Sarah nods towards the front of the room where Casey is leading an over-the-head crowd clap. Who knew Casey had such rhythm!
~*~*~
Meanwhile, the Buy More party is underway. Lester’s surprised it’s actually working. “Take off your shoes!” “Pizza fingers off the merchandise please!” He tells the DJ to turn down the music because they have to be considerate of the neighbors, and when a display is knocked over yells, “Is this the way you people treat your own homes?!”
~*~*~
Chuck tells Mark that their target is Dick. “Of course!” Mark says. “The guy who terrorized me in high school is now gonna terrorize the world with my super bomber!” Chuck assures him that he’s going to be fine. “You have my personal guarantee.” He walks with Mark over to Dick.
“Uh, excuse me Dick. I believe I’m supposed to see you about a certain transaction?”
Dick is more than a little surprised to see him. “You’re the last guy I thought I’d be having this conversation with. Alright fine, meet me outside in five minutes.”
Two more Russian mobsters walk in and slap some nametags on their suits. The peppy nametag table girl smiles. “Welcome class of ’98!”
“Go Cougars,” one guy replies in a heavily accented English. The girl pumps her fist. Yeah!
~*~*~
Mark tells Chuck that he’s just a guy who likes math. “And somehow I got a beautiful girl like that to fall in love with me.” He doesn’t know how he got into this whole mess.
As Mark talks, Chuck spots Sarah heading outside. Mark sighs. “Ah forget it Ageant Carmichael. How can I expect a cool guy like you to understand?”
“You know what Mark?” Chuck asks, thinking. “Sometimes the nerd gets the girl.”
~*~*~
Casey waits in position as Sarah walks up to Dick outside by his car. “In the middle of something?”
“I got time for you,” he tells her. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
“Don’t worry about him.”
He can’t believe she’s the same Jenny from high school. She tells him she’s still the same girl on the inside, slapping him when he walks up to give her a little too friendly squeeze.
“Ooo,” he grins at her. “That’s alright, I like my ladies rough—”
BAM! Sarah kicks him in the face before he can even see it coming. Dick falls to the ground, out cold.
Casey runs up. “Great. We know he’s a perv, but we don’t know if he’s the perp.”
“Yeah sorry,” Sarah tells him. “I’m just working out some childhood issues.”
They open the trunk and find knockoff watches, pirated DVDs. Dick’s just small time. Okay, then who’s they’re guy?
~*~*~
Heather walks up to the mob guys and tells them that her husband is selling out. The guy he’s over their tossing nuts and trying to catch them in their mouth with is some agent named Carmichael. “Kill them both,” she orders and walks off.
~*~*~
The party is getting out of control at Buy More and Lester’s had it. When he finds a random guy dancing with Big Mike’s fish, he tries to get it back and ends up breaking off the head.
“That’s it!” Lester announces. “Party’s over! Get out, right now!”
Everyone stares at him a second then all go back to what they were doing. The party continues.
~*~*~
Chuck spots the Russians and tells Mark their going to have to improvise. What does that mean?
“Move!”
Chuck and Mark take off in opposite ways, and Chuck grabs the DJ mic and welcomes the class of ’98. Whoohoo! Casey and Sarah come in to find Chuck telling everyone, “For those of you who remember me, I clearly need no introduction. And for those of you who don’t, l I’m not up here to talk about myself anyway. No, I’m here to talk to you about some people who will cause you to FLASH--” Casey and Sarah search the room as Chuck continues. “—Back that is. So maybe with a few hints and little bit of luck, we can find two special Cougars and throw some love on ‘em!”
Chuck grabs the spotlight and starts aiming it around the room. He finds one of the mobsters. “Oh, how about this guy huh?” He starts talking about how “Michael” barely made it through Spanish class and people start patting him on the shoulder as if they actually remember having him as a classmate.
Heather sneaks off and Sarah realizes she’s a part of this. She goes after her and Chuck swings the light to another mob guy, talking about his old pole-vaulting days. Everyone smiles like they too remember. He continues to talk about how he thought the guy was going to go to state as the last Russian sticks a gun in Mark’s side. “Let’s go.” Casey spots them and follows.
~*~*~
As Chuck continues to wing it, Sarah takes off her shoes, pulls out her gun, and goes after Heather in the locker room. Heather admits to marrying Mark for his money, but the Russians pay a lot better.
*Cue martial arts fight between Sarah and Heather*
~*~*~
The Russians stuff Mark into a locker. They give him three seconds to tell them where the plans are. “One…two…” Casey rounds the corner and shoots the gun out of the bad guy’s hand. He takes out both mobsters. Mark hears the fighting from inside the lockers and shouts, “Agent Carmichael! Help!”
~*~*~
Meanwhile, Chuck’s really getting into the whole DJ thing. Headphones on, he tells them, “Before I go, here’s a classic from 1998.” He puts on the record. Nice.
~*~*~
“Help!” Mark pounds on the locker. “Let me out! Hello?”
~*~*~
Sarah sneaks into the showers and Heather attacks her from behind. They each snap off a pipe and start fighting. Heather tells her that she should have been suspicious of her from the beginning. She catches Sarah in a headlock. “I mean, why would a girl like me ever marry a dorky guy like him?”
“You’d be surprised.” Sarah head-butts her and they continue to fight, water raining down around them. Heather swipes Sarah’s feet out from under her and walks out. Lip bloody, Sarah gets up and chases after her.
~*~*~
Chuck rounds the corner to find Casey with two unconscious Russian mobsters.
“Thanks a lot Mad Dog,” Casey tells him. “I can always count on you to be at the right place at the right time.”
Mark finally manages to get the locker open and is once again shocked at Agent Carmichael’s mad skills. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down.”
Chuck pulls Casey aside and tells him he’s glad he’s not the one who has to tell Mark about his wife’s involvement in all of this.
Casey snorts. “That’s why love is for suckers.”
“Have you seen Sarah anywhere?”
Casey turns to leave. “Sucker.”
~*~*~
Heather’s now hunting Sarah, wondering how she ever became an agent with a jailbird like her father. Sarah pops out of nowhere and slams her foot into Heather’s stomach, flinging her into a trophy case. The glass shatters and as Heather reaches for her gun, Sarah yanks out one of her throwing knives and hits a bronze cougar head in the case. It falls off the shelf and onto Heather’s head, knocking her out cold.
Sarah: Go Cougars.
~*~*~
Barefoot, soaking wet, and bloody, Sarah slaps off her nametag and sticks it to the door. The peppy nametag table girl is just announcing the reunion queen. Sarah walks in just as “Jennifer Burton” is named queen. The spotlight lands on her, and Chuck and Casey watch Sarah get crowned.
“See you at the 20th Jenny!” the peppy girl tells her.
~*~*~
The Buy More employees stare at the huge mess the store is in. Morgan is sure they’ll be able to fix it all. “It’ll be all good.”
*Time lapse of Buy More employees cleaning up*
Big Mike steps out of his car…
Lester acknowledges that “I’m not the easiest man to work for, but I want to thank you for all your hard work and mean it this time. I mean, guys what we’ve accomplished here is incredible. And each and every one of you is a big bright shining star—“ Big Mike walks in and Lester panics. “Oh mother crapper the fish!” He rushes off.
Big Mike walks down the line of his employees. One offers flowers.
~*~*~
Lester rushes into Big Mike’s office to find Morgan just putting the finishing touches on the glue. He’s in shock. “Morgan, you did all this for me? When I haven’t always been very kind to you?” He asks him why and Morgan replies, “I don’t know man. I thought, you know, if I was there for you selflessly that you would see that people are essentially kind hearted. And maybe you wouldn’t walk around so afraid in this world.”
Lester stares at him.
Morgan: Dude are you crying? Come on, just doin’ my job—Oh Mike’s here!
Morgan rushes out as Big Mike comes in. He looks at the sales totals and is impressed. “I should go away more often.” Lester tells him that the pressure of the job is just too much. Is he sure? Definitely. Lester hastily turns in his jacket and rushes out just as the glue gives way and Big Mike’s fish falls apart.
~*~*~
In Sarah’s apartment, Chuck hands over a raw piece of hamburger. Sarah lets out a small laugh. “Isn’t it supposed to be a raw steak?”
“Not on a Buy More salary. But I did happen to scrape together enough cash to get you a cooked one as well. Medium rare with--”
“--Extra pickles” they both finish at the same time.
She’s impressed.
“Come on, who do you think you’re dealing with here?”
“Well I never doubted you Special Agent Carmichael,” Sarah teases.
“So the big secret is that you used to be just a typical high school student. Wish I knew what happened to change that.”
Sarah flashes back to that day her father was taken away, to the note and the box of cash her father left in case of an emergency. There’s a noise behind her and she grabs and throws a knife, barely missing CIA Director Graham.
When she asks him who he is, he just tells her he’s the one who put her father away, who protected him actually. He lists off her many aliases and tells her that he can protect her too. She offers her hands to be cuffed. No not that way. “Your dad trained you pretty well,” he tells her. “The CIA can do better.” Since she likes names so much…he steps forward, handing her back the knife. “What do you think about Sarah Walker?”
“Sarah Walker, hello?” Chuck asks, bringing her back to the present. Sarah tells him that she’ll answer one question about her past, he’s earned that much. Chuck considers this a second, then answers, “No thanks. I don’t need to know more about who you were, because as much as you don’t think so, I know who you are…A girl I’d like to share a cheeseburger with.”
Sarah smiles at him and he asks if he should get a knife.
“Oh that won’t be necessary.” Sarah pulls out one of her throwing knives and hands it over.
“That’s awesome and a little disturbing.” Chuck unwraps the cheeseburger. “This is gonna be messy. Do you want a big half or a small one…?”
*Fade to black*
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Awwww.
So once again we still don’t known Sarah’s real name. What, you were expecting that answer already? It’s only the second season! 
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