Bones: The Rocker in the Rinse Cycle
June 7th 2010 03:26
Booth and Bones do another “Hot Blooded” performance at a rock n’ roll camp (where their victim was supposed to be, but got killed by a guitar(ist)), the boys in the lab get excited for baseball season, and Cam begins dating Michelle’s new gynecologist.
HOTEL MANAGER: They put me in charge of all of this. I'm like one of those big shots on Wall Street only I deal with laundry, instead of money.
WOMAN: Wow.
HOTEL MANAGER: Not many people know it, but this is the nerve center of the entire hotel.
WOMAN: Well, I would have thought it would be room service.
HOTEL MANAGER: No way! Proper washing, at this volume, depends on water quality, bleach concentration, time and of course agitation and heat.
WOMAN: Agitation and heat, yeah, I definitely got that.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Hey, what's so interesting about my tie.
BONES: Well, a gift is a social contract - a basic anthropological construct. By giving you a tie, Catherine has entered into a social contract with you.
BOOTH: Really?
~*~*~
BOOTH: Oh, oh, ho. Okay. Can someone just please remove the eyeball.
~*~*~
BONES: The skeleton appears to have suffered a great deal of damage in the washer.
HODGINS: Well, that wins the understatement award for today.
~*~*~
BONES: Booth and I are friends. Catherine is an intelligent, attractive woman and I'm intrigued by their developing relationship.
BOOTH: That's nice...I think.
SWEETS: Yeah. I think it is nice.
~*~*~
BONES: Music camp.
BOOTH: That's not music. That's Rock 'n Roll, Baby. Yeah!
~*~*~
BOOTH: They're all in line. They're not even pushing. This is not my rock and roll fantasy.
~*~*~
GINO: Can I help you guys with something 'cause I really don't want to be late for class. I paid a fortune to be at this camp.
BOOTH: Yeah, We're looking for Simon Graham.
BEBE: I think he's near the stage. Walk this way.
BOOTH: Aerosmith.
GINO: Hey! You know you're music.
~*~*~
ERIK DALTON: Who unplugged me?! No one unplugs me!
BOOTH: (to Bones) He's right. No one unplugs Erik Dalton.
~*~*~
ARASTOO: I've identified 83 injuries to the skeleton that occurred either at the time of death or in the washing machine. I can't tell which.
HODGINS: So, no cause of death.
ARASTOO: Not without evidence from hemorrhagic staining and these remains went through a wash cycle with industrial strength bleach. I was pitching a no hitter and now I can't find the plate.
HODGINS: This baseball thing? You allowed to play?
ARASTOO: No. The Qur'an strictly forbids baseball. lacrosse, of course, and board games with hungry hippos.
HODGINS: That's a yes, with an additional comment on my ignorance.
ARASTOO: I was a state All-Star in high school. I even got scouted by a couple of farm teams
HODGINS: No way.
ARASTOO: Yeah. I still play on the weekends. My mosque is in a league. We play against churches and synagogues.
HODGINS: Wow.
ARASTOO: You should join us sometime.
HODGINS: Oh, come on. I can't be on an all-Muslim team. I'm a lapsed Episcopalian.
ARASTOO: No, every team has a few ringers. The Jews have a Unitarian batting 400.
HODGINS: Really? Huh. Never tried to beat the infidels before.
ARASTOO: As long as you find something in your washer goop that helps me determine cause of death, you can play short stop.
HODGINS: You're on.
~*~*~
SIMON: My camp is for people who love music. Not wannabes in designer jeans and fancy guitars they never touch.
~*~*~
SWEETS: (to Booth) Never mess with Prince.
~*~*~
BONES: Personally, I find your music discordant and irritating - rather reminiscent of Muruwari death wailing in its capacity to annoy.
~*~*~
DR. LIDNER: Um, I just thought - Would it be weird if I asked you to, uh, go out with me sometime?
CAM: Y-Yes, that-that, um...would be weird.
DR. LIDNER: Of course. Uh, very weird.
CAM: Yeah, right? It-it is weird.
DR. LIDNER: Totally. Totally weird.
CAM: But, um, I would say yes.
~*~*~
BONES: I assume you were talking about baseball again, although I have no idea why.
ANGELA: Well, it's baseball season, sweetie. This is when boys like to hit balls with sticks when the snow melts. I don't know why.
~*~*~
BONES: Sweets would probably say that the need to hit balls with a large stick shows that you're insecure with your manhood.
ANGELA: I can assure you...
BONES: I think it's probably just enjoyable to hit things.
~*~*~
BONES: Booth seems to like Catherine, don't you think?
CAM: I do. I'm glad. It's been a long time since he's dated anyone.
BONES: I know. It's important for Booth to share his life. I prefer being alone.
CAM: But you're seeing Hacker.
BONES: Yes, and I like him, but not like Booth. I mean not like Booth wants to like someone.
CAM: All organisms evolve and develop along patterns only recognized in retrospect. Your life doesn't exist outside the laws of nature.
BONES: Then, in ignorance, I await my own surprise. Although the odds of it involving a commitment to another person are remote.
CAM: I never thought I'd be dating now; yet I am.
BONES: You met someone.
CAM: I think so. We're going to have lunch.
BONES: It's been quite a while for you.
CAM: And thanks for pointing that out.
~*~*~
BONES: Yes, if I were an anthropology enthusiast, I'd want to go to fantasy camp to meet me.
BOOTH: Ah, come on, Bones. Play along. (“Hot Blooded" begins to play) It's rock and roll fantasy camp. It's cool, right? You hear that? That is our song. Remember "Hot Blooded"?
BONES: The last time we sang this song, Booth, someone tried to kill you.
BOOTH: Yeah, but it was fun up until the blast, right? Come on.
~*~*~
CAM: So, do we share any other great deceptions?
DR. LIDNER: Um... I can make a coin disappear and come out of your ear.
CAM: Ooh. I hate magic. I'm sorry.
~*~*~
SWEETS: You think he was killed for his guitar?
BONES: All we know is, he was killed with his guitar.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Wow. You really know your rock and roll deaths.
~*~*~
BOOTH: So, you're saying that the music is the motive.
SWEETS: I know it's wrong, but I am liking our killer better than our victim.
~*~*~
MICHELLE: Dr. Lidner left a message at the house.
CAM: Was there anything wrong with your tests?
MICHELLE: No. He was confirming your date for Saturday night.
CAM: Oh. That. Yes. I was going to tell you...
MICHELLE: You're dating my gynecologist!?
CAM: It wasn't my fault. It just happened.
MICHELLE: What? Think about what you'd say if I said that to you.
CAM: I'd ground you. I'm...sorry. We had lunch. We liked each other. That's all. And that was wrong. Very, very wrong.
~*~*~
BONES: You're a very good singer.
BOOTH: Thank you, Bones. And you-you play the guitar in a very interesting fashion.
~*~*~
BONES: Last night, Andrew gave me a CD with music he likes.
BOOTH: Mix-tape, huh? Talk about a social contract.
~*~*~
BONES: I liked Andrew's taste in music except for a band called Led Zeppelin.
BOOTH: Except for a band called Led Zeppelin?
BONES: … Yes.
BOOTH: What? You kidding me? Led Zeppelin is, like, the best rock and roll band ever. I mean, they had a reunion tour in '07 in London. I would have killed for those tickets.
BONES: Really? My publisher offered me tickets, but when I heard "Zeppelin," I thought it was for some sort of air show.
BOOTH: Air show? You turned down what probably was the last concert that Zeppelin would ever play?
BONES: Are you going to kill me?
BOOTH: You're unbelievable!
BONES: Well, it's just a band, Booth.
BOOTH: It's not just a band, okay? This is Led Zeppelin. You know what? I am your partner. You offer your partner those kind of things.
BONES: I didn't know that!
BOOTH: Offer your partner the tickets.
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