Bones: The Proof in the Pudding
April 6th 2010 22:02
While Booth is trying to get Bones to see the Michael Jackson in the cheese on his pizza and Cam is running around trying to figure out who’s positive pregnancy test she found in the girl’s bathroom (she’s afraid it’s Michelle’s), the lab is suddenly taken over by Men in Black. They lockdown the entire place, no one goes in or out, and bring in their own body. A body in which the team has to identify without taking any samples.
Alarmed, Sweets gets on his phone to tell Booth what’s going on, and when Booth hears about the government taking over the lab and not letting him in, he starts to investigate. He’s cornered in the parking garage by more Men in Black, who warn him to back off. When they force him to go home, Booth just comes back and smashes through the locked glass doors. Literally. Now that he’s in, they can’t let him go. Booth just shrugs. Not a problem.
Meanwhile, Angela confesses to Cam that the pregnancy test was hers. She feels very awkward about the whole thing and hasn’t told Wendell yet. She’s only telling Cam so that she won’t get mad at Michelle for nothing. Cam thanks her for telling her the truth.
As the Squints try and figure out who it is they’re working on, evidence begins to suggest someone famous. Really famous. As in JFK famous. Hodgins’s head is about to explode when he realizes he’s investigating one of the biggest possible conspiracies of all time, and soon everyone is starting to agree with him that this really could be JFK.
Booth contacts his boss to try and figure out who these Secret Service-type guys are and why they aren’t letting them out of the lab, and he, Sweets, and Hodgins sneak into the underground records at the Jeffersonian (through the secret passageway in the janitor’s closet no less) so that Booth can field test the replica of the Lee Harvey Oswald rifle on a cantaloupe going the same speed the President’s car was going the day he got shot.
Asking the main Man in Black (Mr. White. Of course.) if Booth could borrow his gun to shoot at the cantaloupe, Bones confuses him with a bunch of scientific jibber-jabber, and Booth uses the ruse to pull out the rifle and get the shot off perfectly. He is convinced that his shot proves that Lee Harvey Oswald was the shooter. Hodgins argues that Boot is one of the best snipers out there, and that Oswald was just a normal guy who would have been running on adrenaline and nerves. Angela agrees with him. Bones asks if the reason Booth is so set on this not being JFK is because he hates that he’s a descendant of John Wilkes Booth, the man who shot Abraham Lincoln, and Booth stalks off angrily, telling her that she promised she’d never mention that. Feeling awful, Bones tries to apologize, but he’s already gone.
When the Secret Service men come to pack up the body and the team hasn’t yet finished their analysis, Booth takes down all the Men in Black, handcuffing them to various parts of the platform so that Bones can grab a few bones and rush off to do a pudding test—which is just that, a test done on bones by floating them in pudding. She discovers that one of the bones floats, the other sinks, and explains to Booth that, “The heavy bone is healthy. The one that's still floating is riddled with osteomyelitis. President John F. Kennedy never had osteomyelitis.” Unbelievably relieved, Booth grabs her into a hug and thanks her for looking for the truth. He knows she did it for him.
Agent Hacker, after determining that Booth, an FBI agent is being held against his will by the Secret Service, is able to come bounding in with his team of FBI agents, only to find out that he’s too late. Booth has already saved the day. Disappointed, he asks Bones if she saw him, but she didn’t.
Later on at the diner, everyone wonders if the whole thing was just a test, and they argue about whether or not it really was JFK in their lab. Bones convinces Booth that it wasn’t JFK, and as they’re leaving the diner, Cam asks her if she was aware that JFK suffered from Scarlet Fever when he was a kid, which can cause osteomyelitis. Bones was aware, but it’s very rare that that happens…Cam smiles, telling Bones that she’ll never forget what she did for Booth today.
Also as they’re leaving, Angela tells Hodgins that she isn’t pregnant, it was a false positive. He’s happy for her, and she thanks him for telling her that he was her guy before, that he still loves her and would do anything for her—including helping her raise another man’s baby. He even offered to marry her if she wanted, and although he shrugs it off now, Angela tells him he’ll never forget what he did for her.
Sweets and Booth come out of the diner, Sweets convinced he’s oddly charged after all this, and Booth tells him he better get home and go to bed before he falls asleep. Right. Sweets heads off, wondering where he parked. Booth and Bones walk down the sidewalk arm in arm, once again bantering over brain vs. guts, but in the end they agree, “To each their own.” “Yep.”
BOOTH: Come on, you..you don't see anything? It's like a kid, when he looks up at the sky and he sees the clouds, and the...
BONES: Oh, I get it. Yes. Your mind forms patterns from random information. Um, Booth, I have a lot of work.
~*~*~
BONES: What's going on?
MR. WHITE: Ah, Dr. Brennan. Hello. Your government requires you to figure out how this person died. Until you do, we are all locked in here together as a matter of national security.
SWEETS: Even me?
CAM: He's just an FBI psychologist.
MR. WHITE: No one in, no one out. By order of the federal government. Now, you have till dawn tomorrow to fulfill this task.
SWEETS: What possible incentive do these people have to comply with your orders?
MR. WHITE: Perhaps the fact that you're all paid by the federal government.
CAM: Threats are not really gonna work for you tonight.
MR. WHITE: Okay, fine. How about patriotism? Professionalism? Scientific curiosity. Take your pick. But the sooner you people figure out what killed this individual, the sooner life gets back to normal.
~*~*~
BOOTH: (on phone) What do you want, Sweets? Working out, building up a sweat.
SWEETS: (on phone) Booth, I'm in the lab.
BOOTH: Why are you whispering?
SWEETS: A bunch of government guys came in. They sealed the place up. They brought in a body. They won't let anyone come or leave.
BOOTH: What...Slow..slow down. What government guys?
SWEETS: They said they're from the General Services Administration.
BOOTH: Uh, whoa.
SWEETS: They're supposed to be in charge of promoting efficient government operations, like leasing office space and buying paper in bulk. It doesn't make any sense.
BOOTH: Who else is there?
SWEETS: Uh, Doctors Brennan, Saroyan, Hodgins, Angela, and me.
BOOTH: So they knew to come when the techs were gone for the weekend.
SWEETS: Why won't they let me leave? I'm a psychologist.
BOOTH: Alright, look, I'll look into it.
(Booth hangs up)
SWEETS: What should I do? Booth? No!
~*~*~
SWEETS: Booth, you find out anything?
BOOTH: Listen, can you talk? Is anyone else there?
SWEETS: Only the good guys.
BOOTH: All right, put me on speaker.
ANGELA: Hey, uh, this is weird, Booth.
HODGINS: How do we know these guys aren't terrorists?
BOOTH: All right, look, they're not terrorists, okay? They're standard federal issue agents.
SWEETS: Why would the General Services Administration bring in a body?
HODGINS: Standard federal issue cover-up.
ANGELA: This is the first time I have ever been as paranoid as Hodgins.
BOOTH: You're FBI property. If anyone's gonna lock you up, it's gonna be me.
~*~*~
CAM: Fire in the hole. (screaming) Hodgins!
BONES: Oh.You said "fire in the hole" to warn me that you intended on startling those men.
CAM: Like I said, I'm not really the good soldier type.
~*~*~
HODGINS: Was that you? Ah, who knew you could yell like that?
BONES: Well, she scared the guards.
HODGINS: I find that so hot.
~*~*~
HACKER: I hate these covert guys.
BOOTH: Right. I'm going in.
HACKER: No, no, no. You aren't.
BOOTH: Why?
HACKER: It's unprofessional in terms of interagency cooperation.
BOOTH: Huh?
HACKER: I said it like that so you'd know I wasn't serious.
BOOTH: Right. So you're going to help me.
HACKER: What? Are you serious?
BOOTH: Yeah.
HACKER: No!
BOOTH: Why?
HACKER: Not stopping you is not the same as helping you. But I will help after, when you're in some nonexistent CIA prison, whatever.
BOOTH: Yeah, okay. Thanks for the support.
HACKER: Mm-hmm. Hey. There's a reason I'm the boss when you're plainly the better FBI agent.
BOOTH: I'll note that.
~*~*~
HODGINS: Who do you think we've got here? Jimmy Hoffa? There. Another cloth fiber. Wool.
ANGELA: Well, it could be, like, D.B. Cooper, that hijacker. But we're not supposed to conjecture about the identity of the victim.
HODGINS: No, we're not supposed to investigate. This is America, baby. We can conjecture all we want.
~*~*~
HODGINS: Did you find anything?
BONES: The victim died within months of the Limited Test Ban Treaty.
HODGINS: That was in 1963.
CAM: You look like you're about to explode.
HODGINS: Is there, by any chance, a nick on a right rib somewhere near the third thoracic vertebra?
BONES: Yes. Um, most likely caused by a transiting bullet.
CAM: Hodgins, you're vibrating.
HODGINS: One of the fiber samples turned out to be pink wool. The bad back. A nick from a transiting bullet. 1963.
CAM: Wait. Pink wool, as in Chanel?
HODGINS: She never left his side…
~*~*~
CAM: I can't confront Michelle about something this big over the telephone, right?
BONES: What? The fact that you may be investigating the murder of the president of the United States?
CAM: No. The fact that she's pregnant.
~*~*~
BONES: Hodgins and Cam are convinced that it's John F. Kennedy. The 35th president of the United States who was assassinated on November 22, 1963.
BOOTH: I know who JFK is.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Any luck finding out what's going on?
HACKER: Nobody knows anything. Whatever this is, it's locked down pretty tight. Do you have any idea who these guys are?
BOOTH: Well, they took me down in a classic Secret Service protocol.
(Mr. White is listening in.)
HACKER: Secret Service? Do yourself a favor. Don't tell any Reagan jokes or mention the Bush shoe incident. They get really mad.
BOOTH: Right. You have any contacts inside the White House?
HACKER: Of course I do. I'm extremely well-connected. I'm insulted you even asked that question. (hangs up) Do I have any contacts in the White House?
BOOTH: Great.
~*~*~
MR. WHITE: You are not permitted to identify the victim.
BONES: In order to recreate what happened to the skull, we need to encase it in flesh.
ANGELA: It's totally nondescript, as you can see.
SWEETS: You know who I kind of see? Ricky Martin.
HODGINS: Alex Trebek.
CAM: James Garner.
BONES: I see Booth.
BOOTH: You think that looks like me?
BONES: Yes, I do. I'll be in the bone room, looking at the actual skull.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Check above the right temple on the skull or a fragment from there.
BONES: Ha! So suddenly you're an expert on ballistic forensics?
BOOTH: That's where JFK's exit wound was.
BONES: Why do you know so much about the Kennedy assassination?
BOOTH: Bones, I'm a trained sniper. How quickly you forget.
~*~*~
SWEETS: So, what? We just sneak in one by one? Hope they don't see us?
HODGINS: Yeah. You got a better idea?
BOOTH: Sounds good to me.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Hey, guys, guys, listen. I'm gonna need some science, uh, jibber jabber to distract these guys.
BONES: Oh, you know who can do jibber jabber?
BOOTH: Who?
BONES: Me.
BOOTH: Perfect. My lucky day. Come on. All right.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Case closed. Oswald could have made the shot.
HODGINS: Booth, Oswald was a lousy shot. You're one of the best.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Two shooters. You know what that proves to me?
BONES: Only that there were two shooters.
BOOTH: No, that those remains were not John F. Kennedy.
BONES: Why is it so important to you that this not be President Kennedy?
(She sits next to him on the couch)
BOOTH: If it was him, he was killed by two gunman.
BONES: Yes.
BOOTH: And if he was killed by two gunmen, the the government lied; they covered it up.
BONES: Throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, this...does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a famous assassin?
BOOTH: Bones.
BONES: John Wilkes Booth who killed President Lincoln.
BOOTH: You promised you would never mention that. You said that to me. (Angry and hurt, he leaves, Bones rushes after him)
BONES: No, told me not to! (Booth's phone rings) I never promised! But I promise now! I promise now!
~*~*~
HACKER: All I was able to find out is that there are parties very interested in the outcome of that congressional hearing. Booth, are you being held against your will?
BOOTH: Come on. I can get out if I wanted to.
HACKER: That's not the question I asked you. I asked you is an agent of the FBI being held by persons unknown against his will?
BOOTH: Yeah, we all are.
HACKER: Then I find, on behalf of the FBI, I'm annoyed by their arrogance.
~*~*~
HODGINS: Ang...
ANGELA: Yeah?
HODGINS: You're gonna have this baby.
ANGELA: I don't know that yet.
HODGINS: Yeah, well, when you do...I've been thinking. You're gonna try to raise this kid on your own. Wendell is a very decent guy...
ANGELA: He's a great guy.
HODGINS: I know. But he's a struggling grad student, and you're gonna minimize his responsibilities for his own good.
ANGELA: Geez. Regular Nostradamus there, huh, Hodgins? Predicting the future?
HODGINS: Says the woman who consults a psychic. My point is, I'm your guy.
ANGELA: What?
HODGINS: I'm your guy. I love you. I love you and I want to help you in whatever way I can. If-if you want to move in together, if-if you want to get married...I'm here for you. And for the baby. In whatever role you need. (Angela says nothing.) Okay.
~*~*~
SWEETS: Yeah, even I can tell that two bullets to the head probably did him in.
CAM: You two don't understand: Booth is a very patriotic man. He believes this is the greatest country ever.
BONES: Being the best doesn't mean being perfect.
SWEETS: It's naive to think that a country the size and influence of the U.S. doesn't pursue secret agendas.
CAM: The Kennedy assassination wasn't a secret agenda. It was a black stain. A dark moment in history. Do you know how many people Booth has shot..for his country?
BONES: Approximately 50.
SWEETS: Wow, that's a lot of blood to have on your hands. I mean, it's the kind of thing that would keep a person awake at night.
CAM: And Booth did that because he trusted that it was right. And who did he trust?
SWEETS: The government.
BONES: (finally realizing) Oh.
CAM: If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.
~*~*~
CAM: Mr. White? For future reference, you might want to inform your bosses that we don't do half-truth here.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Is that pudding?
BONES: Yes. I adjusted the specific gravity with a thickening agent to assure the test's efficacy.
BOOTH: But pudding? (Brennan looks over at the pudding and her eyes light up) Whoa, something happened.
BONES: Yes. One of these bones sank and the other one floated.
BOOTH: In the pudding?
BONES: Yes. The heavy bone is healthy. The one that's still floating is riddled with osteomyelitis. President John F. Kennedy never had osteomyelitis.
BOOTH: (relieved) Come here. (He pulls her into a big hug)
BONES: Wow! (laughing) You really didn't want this to be JFK.
BOOTH: You know, you kept looking because of me. Thanks, Bones.
~*~*~
HACKER: No words. Hi, um, Temperance. You look great.
BONES: Thank you, Andrew. It's nice to see you again.
HACKER: Did Booth describe to you how I came crashing in through the front doors to rescue you?
BONES: No. I would have liked to have seen that.
~*~*~
BOOTH: You know, I was able to take those guys down because they were not working as a team. You want to know why? Because Sweets here was able to put a worm of doubt in Mr. White's brain.
SWEETS: Thank you, Booth but I'm pretty sure that the whole thing was part of some kind of test.
CAM:Who was being tested?
HODGINS: It wasn't a test. It was the government trying to figure out if modern forensic analysis could solve the greatest mystery of all time.
ANGELA: Yeah, but the victim turned out not to be Kennedy.
HODGINS: What if the only part of Kennedy that wasn't Kennedy was that floating arm bone?
BOOTH: Maybe I was being tested, you know, after my brain surgery.
SWEETS: Or me.
HODGINS: Come on, guys. If they were testing anybody, it's me. They think I'm a paranoid conspiracy theorist.
CAM: Or maybe they were testing me to see if I could run a lab in a professional manner.
ANGELA: Well, you do realize that all these tests? Everybody failed.
BONES: Not me. I figured out the truth.
BOOTH: There's a congressional committee suggesting that Kennedy be exhumed.
CAM:You mean we were some sort of dry run?
HODGINS: And that's why we couldn't mark the bones.
CAM: Except they weren't Kennedy's bones.
(They all look towards Bones for final verification.)
BONES: No. They weren't Kennedy's bones.
~*~*~
HODGINS: So, can I get you a cab?
ANGELA: I'm not pregnant. It was a false positive.
HODGINS: Oh, well, that must be a big relief.
ANGELA: Yeah.
HODGINS: Everything goes back to normal. How it was before.
ANGELA: Yeah. Yeah, but, um, I-I wanna...I want to thank you for...
HODGINS: Nah. Hey, forget it.
ANGELA: I'll never forget it.
~*~*~
CAM: Were you aware that JFK had scarlet fever in childhood?
BONES: Hodgins informed me of that fact, yes.
CAM: Scarlet fever can cause osteomyelitis.
BONES: It's very rare, Cam. It can happen in approximately one in a hundred cases. It's statistically unlikely that it was Kennedy.
CAM: You're a good person. I will never forget what you did for him.
~*~*~
SWEETS: Oh, I'm oddly energized. I should be exhausted, physically and emotionally, but I feel like I could work all day.
BOOTH: Right, you should get home and get to sleep before you fall over, okay, Sweets.
SWEETS: Okay.
BOOTH: Yeah. Head to the pillow.
SWEETS: I forgot where I parked my car.
(Sweets walks off)
BOOTH: Shall we?
(He holds out his arm to Bones, she takes it, they walk arm-in-arm down the sidewalk)
BONES: We shall.
BOOTH: You know, you must think I'm crazy for being so happy that it wasn't JFK.
BONES: I'm very impressed. You wanted the truth, even if it was going to hurt you.
BOOTH: I learned that from you.
BONES: Really?
BOOTH: Yeah. I mean, sometimes you have to go with your brain over your gut.
BONES: That's nice. But I prefer that you always go with your brain over your gut because your gut cannot think.
BOOTH: Your brain can't digest a breakfast burrito. Just saying, to each their own.
BONES: To each their own.
BOOTH: Yep.
| 32 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog
