Bones: The Foot in the Foreclosure
March 4th 2010 22:33
What looks like a case of spontaneous human combustion leads Booth, Bones, Sweets, and the Squints to what Sweets describes as, “Feeders and eaters.” They “are a sub-category of fat fetishism that involves an obese person, or an eater, and a feeder that derives sexual pleasure out of gaining and fondling of body fat.” Meanwhile, Booth’s grandpa, Hank visits Booth and takes a liking to Bones. When Hank winds up getting lost then almost setting Booth’s apartment on fire when he tries cooking, Booth considers taking a leave of absence to take care of the man who took care of him growing up. Hank decides on his own to go back to the retirement community, but makes sure to have a talk with both Booth and Bones separately before he does. They’re both going to miss him.
KATIE: I'm sorry, he was supposed to clean up.
MAN: That's a foot.
~*~*~
HANK: Hey Shrimp! Shrimp!
BOOTH: Hey, Pops. (It's Booth's grandfather.) How you doing?
(Booth stands to greet his grandfather as his grandfather wheels his suitcase towards Booth)
SWEETS: Shrimp?
BONES: I imagine Booth used to be shorter.
~*~*~
SWEETS: Hi
HANK: And who's this, a friend of Parker's?
BOOTH: No, this here's Dr. Sweets.
HANK: A doctor? (shaking his head) I don't think so.
BOOTH: No. It is.
BONES: It's true.
HANK: Where'd you get your M.D.? In a CrackerJack box?
~*~*~
SWEETS: Uh...so shall we go?
HANK: You got room on your bicycle for my bag?
SWEETS: Ha.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Right. So what are we talking about here? Spontaneous combustion?
BONES: There's no such thing.
BOOTH: Come on, Bones. Electrical currents in your body. They start sparking and then before you know it, WOOSH! Flame on.
BONES: Well that's absurd, Booth
BOOTH: Oh really? Then what happened?
BONES: I have...absolutely no idea.
BOOTH: Exactly. Spontaneous combustion.
~*~*~
HODGINS: So then the victim was killed before the fire even started. (Cam nods) So you, uh, met Booth's grandad?
BONES: Yes, I think Booth wants him to move in.
HODGINS: Wow, that's a big step.
CAM: Hank raised Booth after his father left. Seeley would do anything for him.
[ b]CLARK[/b]: Booth is a good man.
HODGINS: Well, well. Showing a little interest in the personal lives of your co-workers there, Clark?
[ b]CLARK[/b]: No. I just meant that...Well, I had a grandparent who lived with us when I was young. (turning to Hodgins) And yes, I am. Too often we don't appreciate the elderly until they're gone. (Cam nods) I just find Agent Booth's actions to be commendable...(quieter) and moving.
HODGINS: (confused) You're moved?
[ b]CLARK[/b]: Yes. I'm moved. (Bones looks at him) And now I'm not.
~*~*~
ANGELA: Hey, Booth must be cute with his grandfather, huh?
BONES: His grandfather calls him "Shrimp." Booth seems to like it which I, I don't understand.
ANGELA: Well cause it makes him feel loved. Like when he actually was a shrimp.
BONES: So the moniker is a sign of affection.
ANGELA: Very good, Brennan. You never had a nickname?
BONES: Oh, no. Just what Booth calls me. Just...just "Bones."
~*~*~
BOOTH: I'm glad you're here, Pops.
HANK: Yeah, well...And don't worry...if you ever need a little privacy with the bone doctor, I'll make myself scarce.
BOOTH: Ok, thanks. But there's nothing going on between us.
HANK: You gay?
BOOTH: What? No.
HANK: She's a keeper. You should listen to me. I warned you about Rebecca being a waste of time. Didn't I?
BOOTH: C'mon, Pops. I can take care of my own love life.
HANK: I don't think so.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Alright. Listen, Pops. Do me a favor. Why don't you just...just stand right in the entrance. Underneath this big sign, alright? Cause I got to go find the manager.
HANK: Well go! Keep America safe.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Pops, what are you doing? You don't work here. Why are you wearing that vest?
HANK: Well three people told me I was a good greeter so I got a vest.
BOOTH: Okay Pops. We got to go. Let's go. Take the vest off.
HANK: My shift's not over.
~*~*~
BONES: We're still assembling evidence analyzing the bones and constructing 3D imagery.
HANK: They got lighter fluid and Presto logs over at PriceCo. They could burn somebody up.
BONES: There's no evidence of an accelerant.
HANK: Yet. That manager over there that yelled at me. I saw the look in her eyes. I was an M.P. you know.
BOOTH: Pops, this is a little bit more complicated than, you know, arresting some drunk soldiers that just wandered off the base.
HANK: I don't think so. (looking down at the bottle in his hand) Did I take these blue pills?
BOOTH: You took the yellow pills.
HANK: (slamming the bottle on the table, frustrated) I feel like a damn chemistry experiment. They didn't have this stuff 50 years ago and everybody was fine.
BONES: Actually medicine has increased life expectancy quite a bit since 1959. 50 years ago, you'd probably be dead.
BOOTH: Bones.
HANK: No, I like her. She's real. She's got balls.
BONES: Well, ovaries actually.
HANK: Well alright. You got a pair of steel ovaries.
BONES: Thank you.
BOOTH: Will you two, please?
HANK: Always so proper...will you loosen up?
BONES: He's quite skittish when the subject of sex comes up.
BOOTH: No I'm not.
HANK: Maybe I didn't give him enough information when he was a kid.
~*~*~
BOOTH: I had these about three times a week. They're amazing, right?
BONES: Mmmhmm. Very good.
HANK: I learned how to make these during the Battle of Inchon. American Cheese reminded us of home. We kept fighting.
~*~*~
HANK: There's nothing wrong with big women. You're grandma has some jam in her jelly.
BOOTH: Alright, Pops.
BONES: Being overweight wasn't always stigmitized. During the Middle Ages in Italy, the wealthy and influential members of society were called "popolo grasso," meaning literally "fat people."
HANK: Is she always like this?
BOOTH: You know what, Pops? She always has the facts, Pops. Always.
HANK: You should go on a game show. You'd clean up.
BOOTH: I tell her that all the time. But you know...she's already loaded.
HANK: She's got talent, charm, beauty, money. And you're just friends? I didn't raise you very well.
~*~*~
BONES: We should get him home.
BOOTH: Nah, let's just give him a second there, huh? He's having a good time. No rush.
~*~*~
BOOTH: I won't be long, Pops. I just have to question the suspect.
HANK: I don't need a babysitter, you know. (looking at Sweets) And I do mean baby. Why can't I stay here with Temperance?
BONES: Oh, I have work at the lab. Perhaps you can teach Sweets to play dominoes.
~*~*~
BONES: I'll miss you, Hank.
HANK: Of course you will. Shrimp, can you give us a minute?
(Booth looks to Bones and then back to Hank)
BOOTH: Sure, Pops. (steps away)
HANK: You remember what I told you.
BONES: I remember
HANK: (looking to Booth) He's big and strong. But he's gonna need someone. Everyone needs someone. Don't be scared.
BONES: Scared? What? I'm not scared of anything.
HANK: It all goes by so fast. You don't want any regrets.
BONES: I don't understand.
HANK: Yes you do. Give me a hug. (They hug. Hank points to Booth) Alright it's your turn.
BOOTH: (as he passes Bones who steps away from Hank) What did he say to you?
HANK: None of your business. Now listen. You remember? It's all in there. (pointing his fist over Booth's heart) Everything you need to know. (Hank looks at Bones then back to Booth) You just do what it tells you.
BOOTH: I love you, Pops.
HANK: I love you. (They hug) Okay, okay now. I can't breathe. Alright.
(He and Booth do their special handshake. Brennan also waves and steps back to them)
HANK: Alright then. (he wheels his suitcase through the doors)
BOOTH: What he say to you?
BONES: Nothing. Just saying goodbye. You?
BOOTH: Me? Uh...nothing. Just...be a good boy. Stuff like that. (they watch Hank disappear) We should go.
BONES: Yeah.
(neither moves, they turn away together)
BOOTH: I like that thing around your neck.
BONES: What?
BOOTH: That thing that you're wearing around your neck. It looks really good.
BONES: (touching the necklace) Oh. You've seen it before.
BOOTH: I don't think so.
BONES: Well...thanks.
BOOTH: Sure.
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