Bones: The Bones That Foam
April 22nd 2009 19:53
A couple getting married on a hot air balloon, bungee jump off the side towards the seaside cliff below, and come face to face with a dead body. As the crowd cheers, the husband and wife scream in horror. Booth and Bones are called in to what Booth believes is the victim of a bungee accident. Bones is pretty sure the victim was thrown over the cliff after he died because he has a compound tibial fracture that would have bled otherwise.
At the lab, Vicent Nigel-Murray is back. Like Booth he dosen’t understand why people would want to bungee jump in the first place. Angela finds out the victim was undergoing dental restoration, so maybe they can ID him that way. Hodgins finds time of death to be two days ago. Vincent suddenly notices that the victim’s flesh is moving, and when Cam cuts into it a strange sort of yellowish green foam oozes out of the body. Emergency alert! Cam quickly presses the button and the Jeffersonian is in lockdown. This is only the first of my times the body sets off the alarm, and pretty soon it becomes more annoying than frightening.
The dental records tell them that the victim is Alex Newcomb. Booth and Bones head over to Jim’s Pre-Owned Paradise, the car dealership where Alex worked. They run into Chet and Vanessa Newcomb, a seamstress and a man trying to downplay his kidney problems, and Jungle Jim, a man obsessed with his pet monkey, Bananas.
Meanwhile, Bones decides she wants to be more like Booth in how he can connect to people, and enlists Sweets for help. She also follows Booth into a strip club to observe his activity. Booth, already uncomfortable, gets even more so, when Bones buys him a lap dance so he can question one of the girls about the “lust dust” found on the victim’s pants before he died.
Hodgins and Vincent Nigel-Murray accidentally set the body on fire with the light from the C-Ring magnifier, and Bones realized that the light caused it. The body must be emitting hydrogen gas. Hodgins mourns the loss of his eyebrows to the fire.
Booth interrogates Buddy while scaring him to death as he test drives an Audi R8 way too fast. Buddy frantically tells him everything he knows about Alex Newcomb, that he punched him in the face because Alex stole one of his clients, and that both of them were thrown out of the strip club. He tells Booth Alex got in a cab and was going to get his job back.
Back at the lab, the squints discover that the bones are dissolving faster than the rest of the body because they have calcium in them. Hodgins decides that they could use an antacid to stop it. He sprinkles it over the bones. It does a great job stopping the foam, but creates a hard shell over the body now instead. BEEPBEEPBEEP-BEEPBEEPBEEP! The alarm goes off again. The lab goes into lockdown. Great.
Turns out Vanessa Newcomb, the seamstress, murdered Alex with a pair of tailor’s sheers. He caught her with Jungle Jim trying to save her husband’s job. Alex told her he was going to tell Chet, but she couldn’t let that happen. To prevent her husband from finding out, Vanessa killed Alex then soaked into corrosive tire cleaner.
Booth has fun test driving an Audi R8. Bones wants to try, and kills it on her first peel-out. Frustrated, Booth gets out of the car heads for a cab. She calls after him for help, but he just reminds her that he tried to warn her to go gently. She's a brilliant scientist, surely she can figure out a car, right?
YOUNG COP: First bungee accident I ever saw.
BOOTH: Probably because you’re ten.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Okay! Let’s get him back to The Jeffersonian, Bones, alright?
(they start to high-five)
BONES: Oh, gloves.
[BBOOTH[/B]: Right.
~*~*~
ANGELA: Hey, I’m ready to start the facial reconstruction. (sees body) Gross. Wow, this is really gross, I’m gonna come back.
~*~*~
HODGINS: My little squads of death don’t lie.
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Forgive me, doctors, but is his skin moving?
CAM: Oooh, that is strange.
BONES: Insect activity?
HODGINS: I’ve never seen insects like that. Except in alien.
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I’m secreting adrenaline.
CAM: I guess we should see what’s inside.
~*~*~
BONES: (hovering around quarantined body) Do you have any idea what the foam is?
CAM: No idea at all, but we could be dealing with a poison, a virus, or a biotoxin. So no one touches or—(Bones sniffs) sniffs it, or anything else until we run tests.
~*~*~
HODGINS: I ran the bugs through the mass spec. I’m not getting any toxins, but they might not have fed on the remains yet. In other words, I need more samples.
BONES: We all need more samples.
CAM: I know, I would just like us all to stay alive during the process.
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: In 400 BC, Hypocrites declared that disease was not caused by demons.
HODGINS: Great, we can rule out demons.
~*~*~
BOOTH: I thought the guy was dead.
BONES: He is dead, but his skin was moving.
BOOTH: Wait a second, moving skin on a dead guy?
BONES: Yes. Then he started foaming.
BOOTH: Wait a second, foaming? What would cause that, too much beer? Or maybe he ate too much soap!
BONES: You should stop using cartoons as a scientific reference.
~*~*~
BOOTH: What? She ‘rarred’ me first.
BONES: Doesn’t mean you have to rar her back.
~*~*~
BONES: No, he was…What’s a sensitive way of saying “murdered”?
~*~*~
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh, Dr. Saroyan? There’s more foam.
CAM: Where?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Ooh, oh, it’s spreading.
CAM: Originating from where?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: The Chinese throw away 900 million chopsticks every year.
CAM: Any relevance whatsoever?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: No, no, it’s just, I’m just—a tad bit disoriented.
CAM: So when you spout facts, it’s your way of maintaining focus.
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Facts are the stitches that hold the fabric of existence together.
CAM: In that case, is it individual chopsticks or pairs?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: (thinks) Individual. (sighs in releif) The foam is coming from inside the bones themselves.
~*~*~
BOOTH: (looking at monkey) Is that thing tame?
JUNGLE JIM: Bananas? Oh he ain’t flung poo since I bought him this hat.
~*~*~
JUNGLE JIM: This is tough to talk about, it’s just tough.
(Bananas jumps off his shoulder and gets him a Kleenex)
JUNGLE JIM: He shoved Bananas off my shoulders. Just shoved him! I waited for an apology. I would have taken him back if he’d just apologized to Bananas.
BONES: Apologized to a monkey?
JUNGLE JIM: He’s got a heart just like you and me. I think it shows a basic lack of humanity to push a monkey. No wonder somebody killed him.
~*~*~
BUDDY: There’s your motive. That man has an unusual attachment to his monkey.
FELLOW CAR SALESMAN: Everyone knows you don’t touch the monkey.
~*~*~
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: In the Dark Ages, it was believed that holding wine in the mouth while breathing through the nose would prevent plague.
~*~*~
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh-oh.
CAM: What?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: This bone, it’s gone quite soft, gelatinous. I think it’s disintegrating.
HODGINS: We’re losing evidence?
CAM: How much time do we have?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Uh…
CAM: (to Hodgins) Tell me a little known fact.
HODGINS: What? (Cam nods to Vincent) Okay, did you know that the international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672?
CAM: Did you know that Mr. Nigel-Murray?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I did not.
~*~*~
BONES: That isn’t what Booth thinks?
SWEETS: Uh, no, no. He sees that the man is humiliated and he displays empathy.
BONES: So, lying.
SWEETS: Manipulating. Much like a car salesman. I used to teach psychological techniques to car salesmen to make money for grad school. Not one of my finest moments.
~*~*~
BONES: I want to do that.
SWEETS: Do what?
BONES: Connect to people like Booth does. You could teach me.
SWEETS: Oh I don’t know…
BONES: In the spirit of scientific inquiry, I’d like to see if what you say about psychology is true.
SWEETS: Did you just dare me, Dr. Brennan?
~*~*~
HODGINS: Lust dust.
CAM: Lust dust?
HODGINS: On his pants. His, uh, lap?
(Cam and Vincent just continue to stare at the lap results, not getting it)
HODGINS: Strawberry body glitter.
(still nothing)
HODGINS: Such as might be utilized by a lap dancer?
(Ah, they finally get it)
CAM: Well, that’s something I can tell Booth.
(she leaves)
HODGINS: Makes me King of the Lab.
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: A large percentage of the monarchy are actually mentally handicapped due to inbreeding.
HODGINS: Can’t ruin it for me. King of the Lab!
~*~*~
BOOTH: Okay Bones, look, this is the only strip club within the proximity of Alex’s home and work. You realize you didn’t have to come inside with me.
BONES: I look forward to observing your behavior.
BOOTH: My what?
BONES: Sweets says you’re manipulative, like a salesman?
BOOTH: Hey—
BONES: I want to study your technique.
BOOTH: My technique? Wait, I’m gonna smack that guy.
BONES: No, you put people at ease, get them to do your bidding, it’s a very useful skill, one I wish my father had passed onto me.
BOOTH: Alright look, you’re father was a con man, I am not a con man, let us just remember that okay? Just watch, don’t—(walks up to Strawberry Lust) Excuse me ladies, uh, if I may, which one of you likes to use this stuff?
BONES: It’s Strawberry Lust Dust.
STRAWBERRRY LUST: Well, that’d be me, Strawberry Lust.
BOOTH: Right, Strawberry Lust, the one and only. I’m sure you thought long and hard about that stage name, right?
BONES: We’d like to speak to you in private.
BOOTH[/B]: No, not too private, I could just ask you a few questions here. (whispering) Alright, Bones, you know what? It’s a little weird that you’re here watching, why don’t you—
STRAWBERRY LUST[/B]: (laughs, grabbing Booth) It’s not weird, baby, lots of people like to watch.
BONES: Oh thank you. I get tremendous satisfaction out of observing a whole variety of acts.
BOOTH: I’d like to ask you a couple of questions.
STRAWBERRY LUST: You’re boyfriend’s shy, isn’t he? (eases him down into the chair) That’ll be sixty bucks.
BONES: Okay, I got that.
BOOTH: Bones--
BONES: (hand over money) There you go.
STRAWBERRY LUST: Thanks. (to Booth) Relax, she’s going to be enjoying this too.
~*~*~
BONES: (watching Strawberry Lust give Booth a lap dance) You have excellent control of your hips.
STRAWBERRY LUST: So I’ve been told.
~*~*~
STRAWBERRY LUST: (still giving Booth a lap dance) FBI? I’m a criminal science major at Georgetown.
BOOTH: Ha, and yet here you are. Workin’ off student loans?
STRAWBERRY LUST: You know it. School’s a fortune.
BONES: I think you will pay off your loans very quickly.
BOOTH: Bones?
BONES: She’s quite arousing, which I imagine translates into excellent tips.
~*~*~
BONES: He lied to you. (gets up) You should go talk to Buddy.
BOOTH: Yes, yes I should…
BONES: Then tell Miss Lust to get up.
STRAWBERRY LUST: I think that’d be a little embarrassing right now. (smiles down at Booth) Huh, baby?
BOOTH: That’s my gun.
(Strawberry Lust laughs)
BOOTH: (to Bones) Give us a minute?
BONES: Okay.
(she sits back down)
BOOTH: Outside?
BONES: What’s outside?
BOOTH: Can you wait outside?
BONES: (to Strawberry Lust) Did we get our sixty dollars worth yet?
~*~*~
SWEETS: We’ll start with a simple exorcise, um, to recognize emotion from facial expressions. Then I’ll give you skills to deal with those emotions.
BONES: Okay.
SWEETS: Okay, just give me a moment. (turns away, then turns back with a confused look on his face) Okay.
BONES: You’re ill.
SWEETS: Ill? No, Dr. Brennan, ill is not even an emotion. My brow is furrowed, mouth slightly open, eyes quizzical…(she studies him hard, but still doesn’t get it) I’m expressing confusion and it’s corresponding vulnerability.
BONES: What are you confused about?
SWEETS: It’s not important at this point. Now, it’s just important to recognize that when someone is vulnerable you have the opportunity to help them feel secure, thereby gaining their trust and forming a relationship. Having this skill can, ah, it can enrich all aspects of your life.
BONES: And not just supply the world with dishonest car salesmen.
SWEETS: …No. Let’s try another one. (puts on an angry face) Okay?!
BONES: What? What is wrong? I-you are very intolerant, Sweets, I am doing the best that I can!
SWEETS: That’s right, that’s right, I was expressing anger! Excellent recognition.
(she smiles)
SWEETS: Very poor response to it though.
(Bones’s face falls)
BONES: Should I have become physical?
SWEETS: No, well, not if you’re trying to establish an emotional connection.
BONES: You think that Booth was trained like this?
SWEETS: Some people just have a natural ability. But hey, Dr. Brennan, you’re a brilliant woman and you’ll get there, okay?
BONES: (sadly) Okay.
~*~*~
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: The fire appears not to have damaged the remains
BONES: How did it start?
(Hodgins and Vincent both point to the body)
CAM: Oh I see, so we’re going with the old blame the corpse defense.
~*~*~
BOOTH: (stopping the Audi) You know what? This baby definitely pulls to the right, you have alignment problems. You know what? I’m gonna call my partner and get a ride back.
(he gets out of the car, leaving a terrified Buddy behind)
~*~*~
HODGINS: The good news is that the bones stopped dissolving. The bad news is that, (taps hard shell of body)
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: Our foamy friend seems to have petrified right before our very eyes.
~*~*~
BONES: Mr. Nigel-Murray, perhaps you and Dr. Hodgins can figure out a way to free the victim’s remains so we can discover cause of death. (leaves)
HODGINS: (calling after her) How are we supposed to do that? Drop it on the floor like a piggy bank?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: I suggest we cut off one of the limbs, one of the less crucial limbs of course, and run some tests.
CAM: Are you serious?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: (at Cam’s look)…No.
~*~*~
BONES: Please, Booth? I’m ready
BOOTH: One lesson with Sweets doesn’t turn you into Master Interrogator.
BONES: Is Master Interrogator a real thing?
SWEETS: Technically, no.
~*~*~
MAUREEN PEROT: (joking) If by “help” you mean put me in the electric chair.
BONES: Was that a confession? Because it sounded like a confession.
MAUREEN PEROT: No, no, no, I was being uh…are you serious?
(Booth lowers his head in the interrogation)
SWEETS: (shaking his head, whispers) I’m sorry.
~*~*~
BONES: Did you kill Alex Newcomb?
MAUREEN PEROT: No. Did you?
BONES: No…
SWEETS: (burying face in his hands) Ohh…
~*~*~
HODGINS: I also found some fecal matter on the bottom his shoes.
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRAY: 90% of the world’s population has fecal matter on the bottom of their shoes.
~*~*~
BONES: He was killed and then soaked into corrosive tire cleaner.
CAM: So the killer thinks the body’s going to dissolve instantly in the movies, and then nothing happens, except EVERY alarm in the lab goes off time and again.
BOOTH: You okay?
CAM: Yes, this is just really good wine.
~*~*~
CAM: Is there anything you don’t know?
VINCENT NIGEL-MURRY: Yes, the murder weapon.
~*~*~
ANGELA: Why is it that nobody ever says to me, “Gee Angela, this looks impossible, but maybe you’re the person who could solve the problem?”
~*~*~
BONES: I have been to 72 interrogations with Booth, 42 in the room and 32 observing.
ANGELA: Uh-huh…
BONES: I should be able to do it.
ANGELA: What? Interrogate?
BONES: Yes. I even engaged in a very interesting session with Sweets to improve my ability to manipulate people.
ANGELA: (trying not to laugh) Oh, that wouldn’t work.
BONES: Why not?
ANGELA: Because, what Booth has you can’t learn from daisy-boy shrink. Booth’s brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is most of the time.
BONES: Brilliant at stupidity?
ANGELA: Mmmhmm, especially around you.
~*~*~
BONES: Why would Booth do that?
ANGELA: Well, he knows that you like to be the smart one, so he lets you have that.
~*~*~
BONES: You know, I am. Smarter than Booth.
ANGELA: (smiles) Okay, so maybe you should just let him have the people skills part of the job to himself then.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Bones, you ready?
BONES: You haven’t said anything about my interrogation.
BOOTH: Okay, you know what? You did great. Okay? Better than I though.
BONES: I was terrible. Everybody’s right, I lack empathy.
BOOTH: You got empathy. You’re awkward, that’s different.
BONES: My stuff is bones, yours is people.
BOOTH: Right, so…you’re admitting that I’m better at something than you are?
BONES: …yes. A lot better.
BOOTH: Thanks, Bones. (beat) Hey, can we go now?
BONES: Yes.
BOOTH: Wait till you see what’s outside!
(they hurry outside to find the Audi at the curb)
BOOTH: So, what do you think? Right? Huh? Buddy let me borrow it.
BONES: (heading for the car) Can I drive it?
BOOTH: (steps in front of her) Oh no no, wait a second, this is a very powerful machcine.
BONES: Well, I can handle it.
BOOTH: Okay, look, once around the block—(Bones starts to grab for the keys, but he pulls them away) Ah, maybe. (Bones again goes for the keys) Okay, look, okay! Driving a machine like this is like making love, you have to go gently.
BONES: I go more for passionate and uninhibited rather than gentle.
BOOTH: Bones, gently.
(he finally lets her get the keys, she jumps in)
BOOTH: Gentle, Bones, gentle!
(she revs the engine as he gets in )
BOOTH: Bones, easy on the gas! (she peels out) Whoa! Stop!
(car dies)
BONES: The car broke!
BOOTH: Okay, let me drive.
BONES: No!
BOOTH: Okay, fine, you know what? Just do it without me.
(Booth gets out, starts walking away, she jumps up to call after him)
BONES: Wait, no, it’s no fun by myself! At least help me get it into first gear!
(their holding up traffic, horns start honking)
BOOTH: First gear? You’re a scientist, you can figure it out, right?
BONES: I’m a scientist, not a mechanic!
BOOTH: A mechanic? What did I say? ‘Drive it gently’, but no, you don’t listen to me. I’m done, forget it.
(he heads for a cab)
BONES: Booth, come on, Booth, come back—I am an excellent driver! Buddy’s going to be very upset for leaving me here with this—
BOOTH: Buddy will completely understand—They way that you throw into that car, go into it gently (to the traffic) Everybody back out, I’m out of here
BONES: Come on, Booth!
Loved Sweets trying to teach Bones how to read people, and then Bones trailing after Booth into a strip club. LoL! Booth's test drive interrogation and the end were great too. I also love how the alarm kept going off in the lab. Poor Cam! haha Bones's first solo interrogation was hilarious. Poor thing just doesn't get it. Guess that's what Booth is there for though, right?
Great episode!| 36 |
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