Bones: The Babe in the Bar
November 19th 2010 18:23
Death by chocolate. Literally. When a woman is found dead in the world’s largest chocolate bar the Bones team is sent in to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Cam deals Michelle’s college choice (she’s following a boy and leaving behind an opportunity to a great school), Hodgins gets excited to tell everyone they’re going to have a baby (he’s the only one who doesn’t know they already know), and Vincent Nigel-Murray can’t stop talking about his successful Jeopardy days. Wayne Knight gueststars.
Cam: I’ll tell you one thing I’ve noticed. That I’m sort of, off chocolate.
~*~*~
Vincent Nigel-Murray: It was widely rumored that Pope Clement XIV was killed with a cup of poisoned chocolate.
Cam: Was he a good Pope or a bad Pope?
Vincent Nigel-Murray: He was no Urban VI.
Cam: Oh, no, of course not.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: Oh who, by the way, was the answer to my record-breaking Daily Double win on Jeopardy. The category, of course, “Torture”.
~*~*~
Bones: Cam, can you analyze the lungs?
Cam: Lungs. There are no lungs.
~*~*~
Cam: I sense a mess in our future.
~*~*~
Cam: You so much as mention leaving the country to my daughter, and I will coke you on your own trivia and stuff your lifeless body in a locker.
~*~*~
Hodgins: This is a big deal. We need to through a party.
~*~*~
Angela: How about if I invite everybody? I’m afraid that you’re going to give it away.
Hodgins: Yes, good point.
~*~*~
Booth: Do you have to eat that? I just imagine you chomping down on her cheek or something. Can you just--put it away.
Sweets: If we don’t face and overcome unsettling events in our life, we are ruled by them. And I’m not gonna let some ruthless killer destroy my enjoyment of chocolate. It’s not gonna happen, I love chocolate too much. (Booth grabs his chocolate and throws it away) Come on! I was about to get to the nuts!
~*~*~
Hodgins: It was a post-mortem eruptation.
Booth: Oh God, that sounds bad!
Cam: It’s a burp.
~*~*~
Cam: Remind me again why I should listen to someone who doesn’t even take care of a pet?
Sweets: Right. I sponsor a water buffalo in the Philippines.
Cam: (laughs) And I suppose you wouldn’t get in the way of her decisions.
Sweets: Oh I wouldn’t get in her way, period.
~*~*~
Bones: Love is an idiot.
~*~*~
Hodgins: Vincent, what’s the matter?
Vincent Nigel-Murray: I beg of you not to look at me directly, please. Just say what you’ve come to say.
Hodgins: Ok, yeah, um…ready?
Angela: Yes.
Hodgins: Angela and I are gonna have a baby!
(everyone starts to clap)
Bones: A baby! Congratulations! Yay! Wonderful! A baby!
Cam: That is SO awesome!
Bones: A baby!
Cam: Yeah, that’s so good. Wonderful-
Hodgins: Stop. (looks at them suspiciously) You knew, didn’t you?
Bones: No-
Cam: No-
Bones: We didn’t-
Sweets: Know what?
Bones: We didn’t.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: No, I was surprised.
(Hodgins turns to Angela, who looks away)
Hodgins: They knew.
Angela: No, no, they didn’t…(everyone busies themselves with their drinks) They didn’t know. Did you know?
Sweets: No.
Cam: Hmm-mm.
Hodgins: That’s why no one else is here, because you told them if they couldn’t fake surprised not to show up.
Bones: I-I think we were very convincing.
Cam: I actually felt like I was hearing it for the first time.
Hodgins: I can’t believe you told them without me.
Angela: I didn’t tell them honey, they guessed. Didn’t you guys guess on your own?
(Cam nods)
Sweets: Yeah.
Angela: Yes, it was the glow, or the vomiting, or something, but the point is that we’re all together and you guys are all very happy for us, right?
Bones: That part is true.
Sweets: To the Hodgins family!
Bones: To the Montenegro-Hodgins family.
Vincent Nigel-Murray: And the wee one.
Hodgins: (kisses Angela’s cheek) To our family. (to everyone) Yay! To our family!
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