Bones: Double Death of the Dearly Departed
September 24th 2009 19:17
This is one of my favorite Bones episodes for sure. 
The team attends a funeral for Dr. Hank Reilly, a man who worked at the Jeffersonian (one whom Bones can’t seem to remember), and discover that this might not be a simple wake after all. As Booth tries to get Bones to “put on her sad face” for the wake, Bones takes one look at the body and insists that the man in the coffin was murdered. At first Booth thinks she’s crazy, but after explaining scientifically why she suspects foul play, Booth decides they need a code word for “murdered”. They settle on “translated”.
Bones tells Booth to guard the door, and Cam overhears. Bones shows her the proof—a picture she’s taken of a large bruise on the dead man that wasn’t there before he “died”. Cam agrees that Bones might have something here, and they go to find the funeral director. He tells them that the bruise was a result of the embalming process. Bones disagrees and insists they need to get the body back to the lab to make sure. Booth argues they don’t have an injunction, but Bones just reminds him that “this is translation!”
Now to get the body out of the house and back to the lab…
Inside the house, Hodins tries to make his speak about the deceased, but suddenly catches a glimpse of Booth and Bones outside trying to carry the body to the car. Startled, he quickly tries to incorporate his shock into his speech, throwing his glass to the ground to keep everyone’s attention on him as Booth waves him on. He stutters through an explanation about needing to live and love, sighing in relief as he watches Booth and Bones finally manage to carry the body past the window. Sweets and Angela look at him like he’s insane.
Booth stays behind to make sure no one looks in the casket as Bones and Cam drive off in Angela’s car (it was the only one Cam could get out of the lot) with the body.
~*~*~
Angela confronts Hodgins about his odd speech, and as he’s searching for a good excuse, the dead doctor’s graduate assistant, Amy, says that she thought his speech was wonderful. Hodgins quickly starts questioning her about the last time she saw the good doctor, and Angela just stares at him, asking, “Hodgins, what are you, possessed by Brennan?” He ignores her and continues to question Amy about the doctor’s last day. His last meal was sushi. Breaking into tears, Amy throws her arms around Hodgins. Angela just rolls her eyes.
When Amy finally leaves, Hodgins tells Angela what’s going on. She hurries into the viewing room to find Booth and figure out what’s going on here. He tells her that Cam and Bones took it back to the lab because they “think he was translated”. Angela is totally confused, and Booth explains that it’s the codeword for murder. “That’s how we’re saying it today, translated.”
Okay, but what if someone looks in the coffin? Booth tells her that that’s why he’s here, sitting down just as the dead doctor’s mom walks in. She asks if they’d excuse her please. She has a few things she’d like to say to her son before he’s cremated. Booth struggles to find a reason to tell her that she can’t look at the body, and when he comes up blank, Angela quickly steps in, explaining that the undertaker didn’t graduate at the top of his class, and now the body is, um, melting. “And his nose is sort of going to the side. And his hair, is—like Hitler.”
Mrs. Reilley gasps, taking a hit off her oxygen tank as her son, Barney walks in to ask what’s that matter. She quickly tells him to quickly turn around. “We can’t see Hank like this!”
“Like what?”
“Like Hitler!” she hisses, quickly ushering him out of the room.
~*~*~
Back at the lab, Cam and Bones discover that the body was definitely stabbed, most likely by the tool used to embalm him. According to their findings, Hank was stabbed, declared dead, sent to be embalmed, woke up, and then was stabbed to death.
When they contact Booth via his computer in his car, Booth is there with the undertaker, who immediately confesses that he accidentally stabbed Hank when he woke up. It wasn’t his fault, he was scared and reacted instinctually. When likens it to zombie movies, and Cam sympathizes. So the undertaker may have killed him, but someone had already tried to kill hank. Cam takes a sample from Hank’s eye to figure out if he was poisoned. Yep, he was.
~*~*~
Bones meets back up with Booth, Hodgins, and Angela at the wake, and explains that Hank had been poisoned into a state that mimicked death. When the embalmer started the process, he spasmed back to life. Hodgins points out that Tetrodotoxin is a controlled substance. Booth takes Angela to his car so she can check out Hank’s medical records on Booth’s computer.
~*~*~
Angela discovers that “Three milligrams of tetrodotoxin was delivered to the Jeffersonian three weeks ago,” but not to Hank, to a Dr. Jonah Amayo in Caribbean Studies.
~*~*~
Bones and Booth quickly head off Dr. Amayo before he can leave the wake, confronting him about the fact that his department was going to be shut down. He was going to have to report to Hank, until he died of course.
Sweets spots them and comes over to ask where they’ve been. Booth points out that this is not a good time, but when Sweets hears what they’re talking about, says, “Oh, I got it! Uh, neurotoxins are widely believed to cause the trance state in reported cases of Haitian zombism. Am I right? I'm right, right?”
Bones points out that there are no such thing as zombies, and Dr. Amayo isn’t so pleased that she’s now managed to “”insult an entire culture and their belief system.” Booth just answers, “She does that to everyone.”
After the doctor leaves, Hodgins comes over with the connection he’s made between Tetrodotoxin and Hank’s last meal “Tetrodotoxin is biologically derived from tetraodontidae. Puffer fish,” he explains. When Booth still doesn’t get it, Bones explains that, “It's a Japanese delicacy known as "fugu."
“Hank Reilly had sushi for lunch at a place called Sushi Momo,” Hodgins answers with a grin. “King of the Funeral!
~*~*~
Booth handcuffs the embalmer to the casket, and Bones tells him that if anyone wants to come in and view the body, just say, "We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment and the body is not available for viewing just now." Mr. Tung stares at her. He would never phrase it that way. Booth just grins, answering, “I know, it's perfect! It's so gross!”
Cam calls to tell Bones that she’s done and is going to need transportation for her and her “friend”. Bones is confused. What friend? Cam explains that she meant Hank, and Bones assures her that they’ll come get her after they get back from sushi. She hangs up, leaving Cam to ask the empty room, “Sushi? You're going for sushi?”
~*~*~
Booth and Bones investigate the last restaurant that Hank ate at. They don’t serve puffer fish. The owner of the restaurant tell them that Hank’s last meal he ate with a woman who had hair like Cleopatra.
~*~*~
Meanwhile, Mr. Tung is trying to free himself from the handcuffs, and Sweets walks in looking for his friends. Mr. Tung straightens, hiding the handcuffs behind his back and apologizes that the body can’t be viewed right now. He recites what Bones told him to say, and Sweets tells him that he’s a trained psychologist. He can tell when someone is under a lot of stress.
“You might say that,” Mr. Tung admits.
Sweets talks to him, assuring him that being around death so much sometimes makes people feel like they were at fault somehow. Mr. Tung asks if Sweets is messing with him, and Sweets assures him that he’s not, that he has nothing to feel guilty about. Mr. Tung is super relieved.
~*~*~
Bones and Booth walk back up to the house as Bones tells Cam that they can’t come pick her up yet. First they have to talk to Cleopatra. She hangs up her phone as Sweets walks over to ask them what’s going on. They tell him, and Sweet suddenly realizes something. “Okay, I may have told him that murder's nothing to worry about. I didn't... I didn't know.”
Frustrated, Booth tells him to go get Hodgins and then Cam and the body, then bring it back and get it into the casket without anyone noticing.
~*~*~
Booth and Bones find “Cleopatra” inside, and Booth asks Bones if she could get lost. Why? “I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.” She leaves him alone with Cleopatra, who turns out to be the Reilly Estate Lawyer. Booth finds out that she had lunch with Hank and they argued about “lawyer stuff”. When she doesn’t want to elaborate, Booth turns on the charm and gets her talking.
~*~*~
Back at the lab, Sweets can’t get over how human Hank looks, and is worried that maybe the deceased is smiling just a bit too much. Cam reminds him she’s a pathologist, not an undertaker. She did the best she could.
Hodgins figures out that the fugu didn’t kill him. If he was poisoned, it had to have come from his morning tea.
~*~*~
Back at the wake, Booth tells Bones what he found out from “Cleopatra”. She was in charge of the mother’s will, and thinks that perhaps Hank’s brother might have had a reason to want to kill him. He convinces Bones to go talk to Barney since he so obviously wants her to publish his book.
~*~*~
At the lab, Sweets stares at the body, unnerved by how human it looks. He’s worried that maybe Hank is smiling just a little bit too much. Cam reminds him that she’s a pathologist, not an undertaker and that she did the best she could. Hodgins decides that if Hank was poisoned it wasn’t from the fugu. It had to be from whatever he had for breakfast, which was only tea.
~*~*~
At the wake, as everyone sings Amazing Grace, Booth tells Bones what he found out from “Cleopatra”. The lawyer was in charge of the mother’s will. He convinces Bones to go talk to Hank’s brother (since the man obviously wants Bones to publish his book) to see if maybe Barney had a reason to want Hank dead. Bones maneuvers her way up next to Barney, who compliments on her singing voice as the song ends. She knows how beautiful it is.
Bones asks him about his book, finding the plot trite and contrived. Booth quickly clears his throat twice, and she manages to talk her way out of it, telling Barney that maybe he should publish his book himself now that he has money. Barney tells her that he doesn’t have the money for that. He wasn’t getting much from the inheritance; most of it was going to Hank. Suddenly he realizes that he will have the money to publish his book now that Hank’s gone, and thanks Bones.
As Hank’s wife and grad student start arguing, Hodgins rushes out to motion Cam and Sweets in with the body. He helps them get poor Hank through the window, then asks if they can finish without him. He points to Mr. Tung and says he’ll help them, then rushes out. The body falls from a sitting position to the floor.
Booth jumps in to stop a physical fight between the two women, and insists that this is not how Hank would like his wake to be. He starts singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”, and pretty soon the entire room is singing and dancing. He keeps them all occupied while Bones and Hodgins run an impromptu lab in the kitchen. They run tests on tea bags and find out that Hank was indeed killed by a cup of tea.
~*~*~
Cam and Sweets manage to get the body back into the coffin (complete with Cam’s sunglasses—forgot the real ones back at the lab) just before the lawyer comes in one last time to pay her respects. She studies him a moment saying that, “He looks…” They hold their breath. “Happy”, she finally decides on. Everyone lets out a relieved breath.
~*~*~
On the drive home, the team discusses the fact that they still haven’t found Hank’s murderer. Bones suddenly comes up with a great idea. Since they’re the only ones that know Hank was killed by his tea, why not have one last cup in honor of the deceased?
~*~*~
At the cemetery, Bones interrupts, saying that she didn’t get a chance to say anything at the wake and would like to make up for it now. She holds up her tea cup, proposing a toast to Hank. Everyone’s glasses are filled, and just as they’re ready to drink, Hank’s mother suddenly pushes Barney’s cup out of his hand, shouting, “No!” Everyone is shocked to find out that Anne killed her own son. When Barney asks his mother what’s going on, she replies, “He wasn't my son. It wasn't fair of your father. He work it so you got nothing. He got everything.” She killed Hank so Barney would get the money.
~*~*~
Graveyard. 5 Days Later
Booth, Bones, and Barney stand looking down at a grave. Anne Reilly’s grave. Barney laments that his mother used her heart medicine to kill Hank, then ended up dying herself because she ran out of medicine. He asks to be alone with his mother and brother, and Booth and Bones give him some space.
As they’re walking away, Bones comments on how ridiculous she thinks talking to a grave is, and Booth makes her promise that if he dies (“Well, you will die, Booth. It's inevitable.”) she’ll come to talk to him. Bones promises. Booth is surprised that she agreed, and when he asks why, she replies, “I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment. Also, speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes - again temporarily - and I think that would make me live my life more successfully.” Booth decides that’s the best thing anyone’s ever said to him, and she agrees to say it at his wake. He also wants her to leave his body out for a while just to make sure he’s really dead. You know, check on him every once in a while?
“No,” Bones answers. “I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you'd start to smell.”
They walk off in the rain.
BONES: They say cause of death was cardiac failure resulting from a congenital defect.
BOOTH: You're not gonna talk like that when we get there, right?
BONES: Like what?
BOOTH: You know, it's a wake, Bones, it's not a crime scene. You know, "Hey I'm sorry
for your loss." "How are you holding up?" Stuff like that.
BONES: I know, I just don't agree with the social convention which requires us to attend a day long grieving ritual simply because the deceased worked at the Jeffersonian.
BOOTH: Try not to say "the deceased."
~*~*~
BOOTH: Okay, Bones, you really suck at this. You are staring way too long at this guy, okay? People are gonna start thinking you have a thing for him.
~*~*~
BONES: What is that? This is whiskey.
BOOTH: Well, it's a wake, Bones, okay? There's drinking involved.
BONES: We should remain clear-headed so we can solve the murder.
BOOTH: Code word, okay, for murder?
BONES: Okay.
BOOTH: I want you to say "translation," you understand? Translation, got it?
BONES: Okay. Someone translated Dr. Reilly, and we have to find out who.
BOOTH: Bones, is there any chance you just feel bad about not knowing this guy like the rest of us did? So, now you're just making it about you in saying that he was translated instead of, I don't know, dying of natural causes?
BONES: No, there is no chance of that.
BOOTH: What makes you think he was translated?
BONES: Okay, the rose that his assistant placed on his chest had fallen to the side. So, I reached in to put it back and I touched him.
BOOTH: Whoa, you touched him?! Ugh. Ah!
BONES: I touch dead people all the time, Booth. Well, I felt cracked ribs. Left, 2-4.
BOOTH: Drink up, will you?
BONES: Why?
BOOTH: 'Cause I'm hoping you're gonna pass out.
BONES: Booth, we are talking about translation.
BOOTH: Bones, did you ever think that, I don't know, if there was evidence of foul translation, that the coroner would have spotted it?
BONES: Yes.
BOOTH: Fine, so, I'll tell you what. Tomorrow morning we will go find the guy who did the autopsy and we'll ask him questions.
BONES: No, Dr. Reilly's scheduled to be cremated this afternoon. All the evidence will be destroyed. We have to get an injunction so that we can examine the remains.
BOOTH: Now? You want me to take the body now?
BONES: Yes.
BOOTH: That family will be scarred for life.
BONES: Booth, the man has been translated.
BOOTH: Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine. Triple fine, all right? I'll call for an injunction. In the meantime, go into the family room there where they're doing toasts, okay? All right, there you go. Bones? Put on a sad face. *Bones attempts a sad face* No, sad. *she tries again* Keep that face sad. That's it. That's it.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Okay, look, the judge said he didn't want to grant a request to an author of pulp mystery books just because she wanted to get a little free publicity. There, I said it.
BONES: That man is a fool. They are not pulp.
~*~*~
BOOTH: So, you still think he was translated?
BONES: Those are not the ribs that would break during CPR.
BOOTH: Maybe she was just bad at resuscitation.
BONES: No, Booth, this is translation. We need to do a full examination of the body at the lab.
~*~*~
HODGINS: *seeing Booth and Bones trying to take the body* Hank! Hank is... Hank-Hank is...he's leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows?
~*~*~
BOOTH: *carrying body with Bones* Come on... Hurry up, Bones.
BONES: Why are you telling me to hurry up?
BOOTH: Just hurry up. Walk with me, okay...?
CAM: Your Sequoia was, uh...it was blocked so I grabbed Angela's Matrix.
BOOTH: Is there enough room?
CAM: It'll be fine. There's lots of room.
BOOTH: Here we go, in the car. I got him. Let me just get this stiff in here.
BONES: Oh, shouldn't we lie him down?
BOOTH: No, no. You get stopped, you got a dead corpse. This way, he just looks drunk. Okay. One, two, three. Get the legs in. There we go. All right, grab the seatbelt, plug him in. Oh, watch it, Bones. Watch the...Strap him in there, Bones.
CAM: He looks comfy.
~*~*~
HODGINS: Amy, you were Dr. Reilly's intern, right?
AMY: Graduate assistant, yes.
HODGINS: It must have been awful when you found him lying on the office floor.
ANGELA: Hodgins!
HODGINS: Was he complaining of chest pains?
ANGELA: Hodgins, what are you? Possessed by Brennan?
~*~*~
ANGELA: Hey, you stole the body?
BOOTH: No, no, no, no, we didn't steal it. You see, we-we borrowed it, okay? Cam and Bones think he was translated.
ANGELA: Wh-what?
BOOTH: Translated. It's code for "murder." That's how we're saying it today: translated.
ANGELA: O- Okay, what if somebody looks in the coffin? That's exactly why I'm here.
*the door opens and Hanks mother, Anne, enters*
ANGELA: Oh, hi, *at Booth* Mrs. Reilly.
ANNE REILLY: Uh, would you excuse me, please? I... I have a few private things to say to my son before he's cremated.
ANGELA: That's – uh - really not a great idea right now, ma'am.
ANNE REILLY:Why?
BOOTH: Well, there's a...
ANGELA: The-The fact is, um, the undertaker...Uh, he didn't graduate at the top of his class, so...
ANNE REILLY: But I just saw Hank earlier.
ANGELA: Yes. Yes, you did, um, but the-the putty that they use to fill in the face has sort of... melted, and, um, his nose is sort of going to the side. Uh, and his hair is like--Hitler.
BOOTH: Hitler.
ANNE REILLY: Hitler?!
ANGELA: Listen, I really think it would be best if you let Mr. Tung fix him up before you see your son.
*Barney enters*
BARNEY REILLY: There you are.
ANNE REILLY: Oh, turn around, Barney. We can't see Hank. Not like this.
BARNEY REILLY: Like what?
ANNE REILLY: Like Hitler.
BARNEY REILLY: What?
ANNE REILLY: Please! We're going! Now!
~*~*~
FRANKLIN TUNG: It's crazy. This whole thing is totally crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. I did acid in high school, and it's probably why I'm not a doctor.
~*~*~
BONES: Zombies? There are no such things as zombies; just an island superstition.
DR. JONAH AMAYO: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.
BOOTH: She does that to everyone.
SWEETS: Dr. Amayo's work in voodoo and Santeria is fascinating. And a little scary.
DR. JONAH AMAYO: You, you people need to work on your small talk skills. Excuse me.
SWEETS: Whoa, what was that all about?
HODGINS: Fugu.
SWEETS: That's really not very nice.
~*~*~
BOOTH: So, nobody looks inside the casket. Okay, Mr. Tung?
FRANKLIN TUNG: How do I do that?
BOOTH: Just, um...Well, Bones, how does he do that?
BONES: Say someone enters and desires to gaze upon the visage of their dead relative one more time in a vain effort to say good-bye to someone who can neither see nor hear them because there's no such thing as a soul or spirit....
BOOTH: Bones, Bones, Bones, just give him a reason not to show the body.
BONES: "We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment and the body is not available for viewing just now."
FRANKLIN TUNG: I would never phrase it that way.
BOOTH: I know, it's perfect! It's so gross!
~*~*~
CAM: I'm done. I'm going to need some transport for me and my friend.
BONES: What friend?
CAM: I meant Hank. I was being oblique.
~*~*~
SWEETS: What's going on? What's - I sense that you two are holding something back. *off their looks* Yes. Yes. You are.
BONES: Okay, we stole Hank's body in order to confirm that he was murdered..
BOOTH: Translated.
BONES: ...translated.
SWEETS: You're totally yanking my chain.
BOOTH: No. The undertaker stabbed him.
SWEETS: Wait, the same undertaker that's been telling everyone that the body's been leaking?
BOOTH: Mhmm.
SWEETS: Okay, I may have told him that murder's nothing to worry about. I didn't... I didn't know.
BOOTH: Oh, that's great. You know what? If you want to help out, go find Hodgins, bring him back to the lab, get the body and bring it back into the casket without anyone noticing it.
SWEETS: Wait. What?! Why?
BONES: So that the poisoner doesn't figure out what we're up to and run away.
SWEETS: There's a poisoner and a stabber?
BOOTH: Shh! Shh! Stop. Shut up! Shh!
SWEETS: Sorry. I'm sorry.
BOOTH: All right? Stop.
SWEETS: I'm sorry…I'm sorry.
BOOTH: Go.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Can you get lost?
BONES: Why?
BOOTH: I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.
~*~*~
SWEETS: Wow. He's really dead.
CAM: That happens here - in the autopsy room.
~*~*~
HODGINS: King of the Funeral!
~*~*~
SWEETS: He still has a face. He's smiling. A bit too much, maybe.
CAM: Hey, I'm a pathologist, not an undertaker. I did the best I could. Adjust his smile; be my guest.
~*~*~
BARNEY REILLY: What a lovely voice you have, Dr. Brennan.
BONES: Yes, I know.
~*~*~
BOOTH: He wants to be alone with his mother and brother.
BONES: By that way of thinking, he wants to be alone with every person who has ever died.
BOOTH: If I die, I want you to do me a favor.
BONES: Well, you will die, Booth. It's inevitable.
BOOTH: All right, whatever, Bones. When I inevitably drop dead before you, I'd like you to come out and, you know, spend some time and talk to me every once in a while.
BONES: Well, I'll feel foolish knowing that you can't hear me.
BOOTH: Promise me.
BONES: I promise.
BOOTH: Hey! There you go, huh? Hey, you agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?
BONES: I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment. Also, speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes - again temporarily - and I think that would make me live my life more successfully.
BOOTH: Hmm, you know what, Bones? That is the best thing that anyone has ever said about me.
BONES: I'll say it at your wake.
BOOTH: Oh, it's raining now. Come on. Get under the umbrella. It's raining. Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.
BONES: Yeah, no problem.
BOOTH: All right? Maybe, ah, you know, leave my body out for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.
BONES: No. I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you'd start to smell.
Booth singing
The team attends a funeral for Dr. Hank Reilly, a man who worked at the Jeffersonian (one whom Bones can’t seem to remember), and discover that this might not be a simple wake after all. As Booth tries to get Bones to “put on her sad face” for the wake, Bones takes one look at the body and insists that the man in the coffin was murdered. At first Booth thinks she’s crazy, but after explaining scientifically why she suspects foul play, Booth decides they need a code word for “murdered”. They settle on “translated”.
Bones tells Booth to guard the door, and Cam overhears. Bones shows her the proof—a picture she’s taken of a large bruise on the dead man that wasn’t there before he “died”. Cam agrees that Bones might have something here, and they go to find the funeral director. He tells them that the bruise was a result of the embalming process. Bones disagrees and insists they need to get the body back to the lab to make sure. Booth argues they don’t have an injunction, but Bones just reminds him that “this is translation!”
Now to get the body out of the house and back to the lab…
Inside the house, Hodins tries to make his speak about the deceased, but suddenly catches a glimpse of Booth and Bones outside trying to carry the body to the car. Startled, he quickly tries to incorporate his shock into his speech, throwing his glass to the ground to keep everyone’s attention on him as Booth waves him on. He stutters through an explanation about needing to live and love, sighing in relief as he watches Booth and Bones finally manage to carry the body past the window. Sweets and Angela look at him like he’s insane.
Booth stays behind to make sure no one looks in the casket as Bones and Cam drive off in Angela’s car (it was the only one Cam could get out of the lot) with the body.
~*~*~
Angela confronts Hodgins about his odd speech, and as he’s searching for a good excuse, the dead doctor’s graduate assistant, Amy, says that she thought his speech was wonderful. Hodgins quickly starts questioning her about the last time she saw the good doctor, and Angela just stares at him, asking, “Hodgins, what are you, possessed by Brennan?” He ignores her and continues to question Amy about the doctor’s last day. His last meal was sushi. Breaking into tears, Amy throws her arms around Hodgins. Angela just rolls her eyes.
When Amy finally leaves, Hodgins tells Angela what’s going on. She hurries into the viewing room to find Booth and figure out what’s going on here. He tells her that Cam and Bones took it back to the lab because they “think he was translated”. Angela is totally confused, and Booth explains that it’s the codeword for murder. “That’s how we’re saying it today, translated.”
Okay, but what if someone looks in the coffin? Booth tells her that that’s why he’s here, sitting down just as the dead doctor’s mom walks in. She asks if they’d excuse her please. She has a few things she’d like to say to her son before he’s cremated. Booth struggles to find a reason to tell her that she can’t look at the body, and when he comes up blank, Angela quickly steps in, explaining that the undertaker didn’t graduate at the top of his class, and now the body is, um, melting. “And his nose is sort of going to the side. And his hair, is—like Hitler.”
Mrs. Reilley gasps, taking a hit off her oxygen tank as her son, Barney walks in to ask what’s that matter. She quickly tells him to quickly turn around. “We can’t see Hank like this!”
“Like what?”
“Like Hitler!” she hisses, quickly ushering him out of the room.
~*~*~
Back at the lab, Cam and Bones discover that the body was definitely stabbed, most likely by the tool used to embalm him. According to their findings, Hank was stabbed, declared dead, sent to be embalmed, woke up, and then was stabbed to death.
When they contact Booth via his computer in his car, Booth is there with the undertaker, who immediately confesses that he accidentally stabbed Hank when he woke up. It wasn’t his fault, he was scared and reacted instinctually. When likens it to zombie movies, and Cam sympathizes. So the undertaker may have killed him, but someone had already tried to kill hank. Cam takes a sample from Hank’s eye to figure out if he was poisoned. Yep, he was.
~*~*~
Bones meets back up with Booth, Hodgins, and Angela at the wake, and explains that Hank had been poisoned into a state that mimicked death. When the embalmer started the process, he spasmed back to life. Hodgins points out that Tetrodotoxin is a controlled substance. Booth takes Angela to his car so she can check out Hank’s medical records on Booth’s computer.
~*~*~
Angela discovers that “Three milligrams of tetrodotoxin was delivered to the Jeffersonian three weeks ago,” but not to Hank, to a Dr. Jonah Amayo in Caribbean Studies.
~*~*~
Bones and Booth quickly head off Dr. Amayo before he can leave the wake, confronting him about the fact that his department was going to be shut down. He was going to have to report to Hank, until he died of course.
Sweets spots them and comes over to ask where they’ve been. Booth points out that this is not a good time, but when Sweets hears what they’re talking about, says, “Oh, I got it! Uh, neurotoxins are widely believed to cause the trance state in reported cases of Haitian zombism. Am I right? I'm right, right?”
Bones points out that there are no such thing as zombies, and Dr. Amayo isn’t so pleased that she’s now managed to “”insult an entire culture and their belief system.” Booth just answers, “She does that to everyone.”
After the doctor leaves, Hodgins comes over with the connection he’s made between Tetrodotoxin and Hank’s last meal “Tetrodotoxin is biologically derived from tetraodontidae. Puffer fish,” he explains. When Booth still doesn’t get it, Bones explains that, “It's a Japanese delicacy known as "fugu."
“Hank Reilly had sushi for lunch at a place called Sushi Momo,” Hodgins answers with a grin. “King of the Funeral!
~*~*~
Booth handcuffs the embalmer to the casket, and Bones tells him that if anyone wants to come in and view the body, just say, "We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment and the body is not available for viewing just now." Mr. Tung stares at her. He would never phrase it that way. Booth just grins, answering, “I know, it's perfect! It's so gross!”
Cam calls to tell Bones that she’s done and is going to need transportation for her and her “friend”. Bones is confused. What friend? Cam explains that she meant Hank, and Bones assures her that they’ll come get her after they get back from sushi. She hangs up, leaving Cam to ask the empty room, “Sushi? You're going for sushi?”
~*~*~
Booth and Bones investigate the last restaurant that Hank ate at. They don’t serve puffer fish. The owner of the restaurant tell them that Hank’s last meal he ate with a woman who had hair like Cleopatra.
~*~*~
Meanwhile, Mr. Tung is trying to free himself from the handcuffs, and Sweets walks in looking for his friends. Mr. Tung straightens, hiding the handcuffs behind his back and apologizes that the body can’t be viewed right now. He recites what Bones told him to say, and Sweets tells him that he’s a trained psychologist. He can tell when someone is under a lot of stress.
“You might say that,” Mr. Tung admits.
Sweets talks to him, assuring him that being around death so much sometimes makes people feel like they were at fault somehow. Mr. Tung asks if Sweets is messing with him, and Sweets assures him that he’s not, that he has nothing to feel guilty about. Mr. Tung is super relieved.
~*~*~
Bones and Booth walk back up to the house as Bones tells Cam that they can’t come pick her up yet. First they have to talk to Cleopatra. She hangs up her phone as Sweets walks over to ask them what’s going on. They tell him, and Sweet suddenly realizes something. “Okay, I may have told him that murder's nothing to worry about. I didn't... I didn't know.”
Frustrated, Booth tells him to go get Hodgins and then Cam and the body, then bring it back and get it into the casket without anyone noticing.
~*~*~
Booth and Bones find “Cleopatra” inside, and Booth asks Bones if she could get lost. Why? “I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.” She leaves him alone with Cleopatra, who turns out to be the Reilly Estate Lawyer. Booth finds out that she had lunch with Hank and they argued about “lawyer stuff”. When she doesn’t want to elaborate, Booth turns on the charm and gets her talking.
~*~*~
Back at the lab, Sweets can’t get over how human Hank looks, and is worried that maybe the deceased is smiling just a bit too much. Cam reminds him she’s a pathologist, not an undertaker. She did the best she could.
Hodgins figures out that the fugu didn’t kill him. If he was poisoned, it had to have come from his morning tea.
~*~*~
Back at the wake, Booth tells Bones what he found out from “Cleopatra”. She was in charge of the mother’s will, and thinks that perhaps Hank’s brother might have had a reason to want to kill him. He convinces Bones to go talk to Barney since he so obviously wants her to publish his book.
~*~*~
At the lab, Sweets stares at the body, unnerved by how human it looks. He’s worried that maybe Hank is smiling just a little bit too much. Cam reminds him that she’s a pathologist, not an undertaker and that she did the best she could. Hodgins decides that if Hank was poisoned it wasn’t from the fugu. It had to be from whatever he had for breakfast, which was only tea.
~*~*~
At the wake, as everyone sings Amazing Grace, Booth tells Bones what he found out from “Cleopatra”. The lawyer was in charge of the mother’s will. He convinces Bones to go talk to Hank’s brother (since the man obviously wants Bones to publish his book) to see if maybe Barney had a reason to want Hank dead. Bones maneuvers her way up next to Barney, who compliments on her singing voice as the song ends. She knows how beautiful it is.
Bones asks him about his book, finding the plot trite and contrived. Booth quickly clears his throat twice, and she manages to talk her way out of it, telling Barney that maybe he should publish his book himself now that he has money. Barney tells her that he doesn’t have the money for that. He wasn’t getting much from the inheritance; most of it was going to Hank. Suddenly he realizes that he will have the money to publish his book now that Hank’s gone, and thanks Bones.
As Hank’s wife and grad student start arguing, Hodgins rushes out to motion Cam and Sweets in with the body. He helps them get poor Hank through the window, then asks if they can finish without him. He points to Mr. Tung and says he’ll help them, then rushes out. The body falls from a sitting position to the floor.
Booth jumps in to stop a physical fight between the two women, and insists that this is not how Hank would like his wake to be. He starts singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”, and pretty soon the entire room is singing and dancing. He keeps them all occupied while Bones and Hodgins run an impromptu lab in the kitchen. They run tests on tea bags and find out that Hank was indeed killed by a cup of tea.
~*~*~
Cam and Sweets manage to get the body back into the coffin (complete with Cam’s sunglasses—forgot the real ones back at the lab) just before the lawyer comes in one last time to pay her respects. She studies him a moment saying that, “He looks…” They hold their breath. “Happy”, she finally decides on. Everyone lets out a relieved breath.
~*~*~
On the drive home, the team discusses the fact that they still haven’t found Hank’s murderer. Bones suddenly comes up with a great idea. Since they’re the only ones that know Hank was killed by his tea, why not have one last cup in honor of the deceased?
~*~*~
At the cemetery, Bones interrupts, saying that she didn’t get a chance to say anything at the wake and would like to make up for it now. She holds up her tea cup, proposing a toast to Hank. Everyone’s glasses are filled, and just as they’re ready to drink, Hank’s mother suddenly pushes Barney’s cup out of his hand, shouting, “No!” Everyone is shocked to find out that Anne killed her own son. When Barney asks his mother what’s going on, she replies, “He wasn't my son. It wasn't fair of your father. He work it so you got nothing. He got everything.” She killed Hank so Barney would get the money.
~*~*~
Graveyard. 5 Days Later
Booth, Bones, and Barney stand looking down at a grave. Anne Reilly’s grave. Barney laments that his mother used her heart medicine to kill Hank, then ended up dying herself because she ran out of medicine. He asks to be alone with his mother and brother, and Booth and Bones give him some space.
As they’re walking away, Bones comments on how ridiculous she thinks talking to a grave is, and Booth makes her promise that if he dies (“Well, you will die, Booth. It's inevitable.”) she’ll come to talk to him. Bones promises. Booth is surprised that she agreed, and when he asks why, she replies, “I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment. Also, speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes - again temporarily - and I think that would make me live my life more successfully.” Booth decides that’s the best thing anyone’s ever said to him, and she agrees to say it at his wake. He also wants her to leave his body out for a while just to make sure he’s really dead. You know, check on him every once in a while?
“No,” Bones answers. “I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you'd start to smell.”
They walk off in the rain.
BONES: They say cause of death was cardiac failure resulting from a congenital defect.
BOOTH: You're not gonna talk like that when we get there, right?
BONES: Like what?
BOOTH: You know, it's a wake, Bones, it's not a crime scene. You know, "Hey I'm sorry
for your loss." "How are you holding up?" Stuff like that.
BONES: I know, I just don't agree with the social convention which requires us to attend a day long grieving ritual simply because the deceased worked at the Jeffersonian.
BOOTH: Try not to say "the deceased."
~*~*~
BOOTH: Okay, Bones, you really suck at this. You are staring way too long at this guy, okay? People are gonna start thinking you have a thing for him.
~*~*~
BONES: What is that? This is whiskey.
BOOTH: Well, it's a wake, Bones, okay? There's drinking involved.
BONES: We should remain clear-headed so we can solve the murder.
BOOTH: Code word, okay, for murder?
BONES: Okay.
BOOTH: I want you to say "translation," you understand? Translation, got it?
BONES: Okay. Someone translated Dr. Reilly, and we have to find out who.
BOOTH: Bones, is there any chance you just feel bad about not knowing this guy like the rest of us did? So, now you're just making it about you in saying that he was translated instead of, I don't know, dying of natural causes?
BONES: No, there is no chance of that.
BOOTH: What makes you think he was translated?
BONES: Okay, the rose that his assistant placed on his chest had fallen to the side. So, I reached in to put it back and I touched him.
BOOTH: Whoa, you touched him?! Ugh. Ah!
BONES: I touch dead people all the time, Booth. Well, I felt cracked ribs. Left, 2-4.
BOOTH: Drink up, will you?
BONES: Why?
BOOTH: 'Cause I'm hoping you're gonna pass out.
BONES: Booth, we are talking about translation.
BOOTH: Bones, did you ever think that, I don't know, if there was evidence of foul translation, that the coroner would have spotted it?
BONES: Yes.
BOOTH: Fine, so, I'll tell you what. Tomorrow morning we will go find the guy who did the autopsy and we'll ask him questions.
BONES: No, Dr. Reilly's scheduled to be cremated this afternoon. All the evidence will be destroyed. We have to get an injunction so that we can examine the remains.
BOOTH: Now? You want me to take the body now?
BONES: Yes.
BOOTH: That family will be scarred for life.
BONES: Booth, the man has been translated.
BOOTH: Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine. Triple fine, all right? I'll call for an injunction. In the meantime, go into the family room there where they're doing toasts, okay? All right, there you go. Bones? Put on a sad face. *Bones attempts a sad face* No, sad. *she tries again* Keep that face sad. That's it. That's it.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Okay, look, the judge said he didn't want to grant a request to an author of pulp mystery books just because she wanted to get a little free publicity. There, I said it.
BONES: That man is a fool. They are not pulp.
~*~*~
BOOTH: So, you still think he was translated?
BONES: Those are not the ribs that would break during CPR.
BOOTH: Maybe she was just bad at resuscitation.
BONES: No, Booth, this is translation. We need to do a full examination of the body at the lab.
~*~*~
HODGINS: *seeing Booth and Bones trying to take the body* Hank! Hank is... Hank-Hank is...he's leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows?
~*~*~
BOOTH: *carrying body with Bones* Come on... Hurry up, Bones.
BONES: Why are you telling me to hurry up?
BOOTH: Just hurry up. Walk with me, okay...?
CAM: Your Sequoia was, uh...it was blocked so I grabbed Angela's Matrix.
BOOTH: Is there enough room?
CAM: It'll be fine. There's lots of room.
BOOTH: Here we go, in the car. I got him. Let me just get this stiff in here.
BONES: Oh, shouldn't we lie him down?
BOOTH: No, no. You get stopped, you got a dead corpse. This way, he just looks drunk. Okay. One, two, three. Get the legs in. There we go. All right, grab the seatbelt, plug him in. Oh, watch it, Bones. Watch the...Strap him in there, Bones.
CAM: He looks comfy.
~*~*~
HODGINS: Amy, you were Dr. Reilly's intern, right?
AMY: Graduate assistant, yes.
HODGINS: It must have been awful when you found him lying on the office floor.
ANGELA: Hodgins!
HODGINS: Was he complaining of chest pains?
ANGELA: Hodgins, what are you? Possessed by Brennan?
~*~*~
ANGELA: Hey, you stole the body?
BOOTH: No, no, no, no, we didn't steal it. You see, we-we borrowed it, okay? Cam and Bones think he was translated.
ANGELA: Wh-what?
BOOTH: Translated. It's code for "murder." That's how we're saying it today: translated.
ANGELA: O- Okay, what if somebody looks in the coffin? That's exactly why I'm here.
*the door opens and Hanks mother, Anne, enters*
ANGELA: Oh, hi, *at Booth* Mrs. Reilly.
ANNE REILLY: Uh, would you excuse me, please? I... I have a few private things to say to my son before he's cremated.
ANGELA: That's – uh - really not a great idea right now, ma'am.
ANNE REILLY:Why?
BOOTH: Well, there's a...
ANGELA: The-The fact is, um, the undertaker...Uh, he didn't graduate at the top of his class, so...
ANNE REILLY: But I just saw Hank earlier.
ANGELA: Yes. Yes, you did, um, but the-the putty that they use to fill in the face has sort of... melted, and, um, his nose is sort of going to the side. Uh, and his hair is like--Hitler.
BOOTH: Hitler.
ANNE REILLY: Hitler?!
ANGELA: Listen, I really think it would be best if you let Mr. Tung fix him up before you see your son.
*Barney enters*
BARNEY REILLY: There you are.
ANNE REILLY: Oh, turn around, Barney. We can't see Hank. Not like this.
BARNEY REILLY: Like what?
ANNE REILLY: Like Hitler.
BARNEY REILLY: What?
ANNE REILLY: Please! We're going! Now!
~*~*~
FRANKLIN TUNG: It's crazy. This whole thing is totally crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. I did acid in high school, and it's probably why I'm not a doctor.
~*~*~
BONES: Zombies? There are no such things as zombies; just an island superstition.
DR. JONAH AMAYO: And now you've managed to insult an entire culture and their belief system.
BOOTH: She does that to everyone.
SWEETS: Dr. Amayo's work in voodoo and Santeria is fascinating. And a little scary.
DR. JONAH AMAYO: You, you people need to work on your small talk skills. Excuse me.
SWEETS: Whoa, what was that all about?
HODGINS: Fugu.
SWEETS: That's really not very nice.
~*~*~
BOOTH: So, nobody looks inside the casket. Okay, Mr. Tung?
FRANKLIN TUNG: How do I do that?
BOOTH: Just, um...Well, Bones, how does he do that?
BONES: Say someone enters and desires to gaze upon the visage of their dead relative one more time in a vain effort to say good-bye to someone who can neither see nor hear them because there's no such thing as a soul or spirit....
BOOTH: Bones, Bones, Bones, just give him a reason not to show the body.
BONES: "We are encountering fluid seepage at the moment and the body is not available for viewing just now."
FRANKLIN TUNG: I would never phrase it that way.
BOOTH: I know, it's perfect! It's so gross!
~*~*~
CAM: I'm done. I'm going to need some transport for me and my friend.
BONES: What friend?
CAM: I meant Hank. I was being oblique.
~*~*~
SWEETS: What's going on? What's - I sense that you two are holding something back. *off their looks* Yes. Yes. You are.
BONES: Okay, we stole Hank's body in order to confirm that he was murdered..
BOOTH: Translated.
BONES: ...translated.
SWEETS: You're totally yanking my chain.
BOOTH: No. The undertaker stabbed him.
SWEETS: Wait, the same undertaker that's been telling everyone that the body's been leaking?
BOOTH: Mhmm.
SWEETS: Okay, I may have told him that murder's nothing to worry about. I didn't... I didn't know.
BOOTH: Oh, that's great. You know what? If you want to help out, go find Hodgins, bring him back to the lab, get the body and bring it back into the casket without anyone noticing it.
SWEETS: Wait. What?! Why?
BONES: So that the poisoner doesn't figure out what we're up to and run away.
SWEETS: There's a poisoner and a stabber?
BOOTH: Shh! Shh! Stop. Shut up! Shh!
SWEETS: Sorry. I'm sorry.
BOOTH: All right? Stop.
SWEETS: I'm sorry…I'm sorry.
BOOTH: Go.
~*~*~
BOOTH: Can you get lost?
BONES: Why?
BOOTH: I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me.
~*~*~
SWEETS: Wow. He's really dead.
CAM: That happens here - in the autopsy room.
~*~*~
HODGINS: King of the Funeral!
~*~*~
SWEETS: He still has a face. He's smiling. A bit too much, maybe.
CAM: Hey, I'm a pathologist, not an undertaker. I did the best I could. Adjust his smile; be my guest.
~*~*~
BARNEY REILLY: What a lovely voice you have, Dr. Brennan.
BONES: Yes, I know.
~*~*~
BOOTH: He wants to be alone with his mother and brother.
BONES: By that way of thinking, he wants to be alone with every person who has ever died.
BOOTH: If I die, I want you to do me a favor.
BONES: Well, you will die, Booth. It's inevitable.
BOOTH: All right, whatever, Bones. When I inevitably drop dead before you, I'd like you to come out and, you know, spend some time and talk to me every once in a while.
BONES: Well, I'll feel foolish knowing that you can't hear me.
BOOTH: Promise me.
BONES: I promise.
BOOTH: Hey! There you go, huh? Hey, you agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?
BONES: I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment. Also, speaking to you would require me to figuratively look at myself through your eyes - again temporarily - and I think that would make me live my life more successfully.
BOOTH: Hmm, you know what, Bones? That is the best thing that anyone has ever said about me.
BONES: I'll say it at your wake.
BOOTH: Oh, it's raining now. Come on. Get under the umbrella. It's raining. Just make sure when they put me in the ground, I'm dead.
BONES: Yeah, no problem.
BOOTH: All right? Maybe, ah, you know, leave my body out for a few hours and check on me every once in a while.
BONES: No. I'd rather refrigerate you, or else you'd start to smell.
Booth singing
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